When You Just Can't See...

(...as in, quite literally!)

***

So, I was just humming along
trying to keep my goal of posting
twice a week here and showing up
at the #fmfparty Twitter party to
reconnect with my tribe
and finding my flow
and then... 

Well... then I finally went to the eye doctor
because these headaches and migraines
were getting worse and more frequent
and as much as I thought they were stress related,
I wanted to know one way or the other!

You should know that I have
a history of battles with/for my eyes.
I was born with cataracts
and had them removed as a teenager
as I was quickly losing my sight.  

I have warred and declared
and prayed for healing in
big (read: miraculous) 
and small (read: no more floaters!) 
ways for all of my days. 

I don't often take
the gift of sight
for granted!

Anyway - the eye doctor ran some tests
and while all the biggies are good...
(retinas healthy and intact, 
no new cataracts trying to grow back,
no glaucoma, etc.) 
she took a good look at my corneas
and sent me home.

The Problem with Shaken, Not Stirred...

I have to say it...

I love it when God 'speaks' to me with a sense of humor.
He's so funny... sometimes it's when I am so not laughing... 
but sometimes He just cracks me up.

He's good at that... using humor to lighten you up just before giving a one-two punch of Truth to get your full attention!

Does He do that with you?

He knows I love to laugh.

Laughing is my favorite and Joy is my OneWord this year and sometimes... well - sometimes He wakes me up in the middle of the night and whispers the craziest things!

On Saturday night I fell asleep praying about what to pray into the next day at church.  One of my favorite 'jobs' has been praying at the end of our worship at Dad's House.  I sometimes have a Scripture or an idea in mind, but usually God interrupts my worship and changes my direction come Sunday morning. So I have learned to plan with my hands and heart wide open. 

I'm good with that, because I want to pray His heart into the people and release whatever it is that HE wants released...

Privilege... A Five Minute Friday post.

I couldn't not show up at ALL last night over on the Twitter, but I had been battling a migraine all day long. My day was full of good things - but oh so bossy, and so by the time I sat myself down in this chair, in front of this screen --well, my body was ready to just shut. it. down. man! So I said a quick hello, and went to a darker room and (mostly) closed my eyes for the evening! I woke up feeling MUCH better, praise God!

The Five Minute Friday community is the best gathering of Flashmob writers around!  We wait for the one word prompt and we throw caution and hesitation and editing to the wind, and we let our fingers fly and our feelings feel and we just wait and see what flows out in five minutes (or so! Because, grace!) and we hit Publish without second guessing or backspacing! Our one word prompt is: PRIVILEGE! 

{GO}

I see the word and catch my breath... because, of course!

This is a current buzzword that can stir up passion and debate and even if as it is uncomfortable, it is so important!

Sadly, it was only a few years ago that my eyes began to truly open.

I honestly didn't know... I very likely could have sided with many who continue now to say that White Privilege is not even a thing --at least not for them. 

As I wrote about in 2014 in a post titled #GoingThere (thanks to posts and in real life conversations with my friend Deidra Riggs), "Ignorance is Bliss only for the Ignorant!" and I went on to acknowledge that was me... I was ignorant...

A Look Back on January... aka What I'm Into - January 2018

I saw my friend Barbie do a Reflections post last week and it reminded me of the olden days when I used to play along with the What I Learned link up.

I always loved those posts because they were fun and (mostly) lighthearted and because they invited me to look back over a month or a season and really reflect on what we had lived through and learned.

I've stated it plain, over and over. Last year was hard. I'm sure we learned ALL KINDS of things... but I was not really wanting to dive into the past when it felt like we were just barely hanging on.

But with this new year, and the return to committing to sitting here at least twice a week and sharing my heart, well - I feel a shift and yes.. even a bit of Joy in the pondering.

So let's go... Let's reflect a bit over January and see what we were into!

The Importance and Power of Agreement... A Five Minute Friday post.

Can you believe January has already come and gone?

I'm trying to find my rhythm again, sitting here in this chair. It feels good to be back on a somewhat consistent basis! I'm so glad you are here!

The Five Minute Friday community is the best gathering of Flashmob writers around!  We wait for the one word prompt and we throw caution and hesitation and editing to the wind, and we let our fingers fly and our feelings feel and we just wait and see what flows out in five minutes (or so! Because, grace!) and we hit Publish without second guessing or backspacing!

Our one word prompt is: AGREE! 

{GO}

I'll never forget it...

The night I learned a miraculous lesson about 
The Importance and the Power of Agreement!

A friend had called from the hospital, having given birth to her newborn son too early.  He was tiny and weak and his lungs were not yet fully formed.  She asked me to pray. She asked me to rally others near and far to pray, too!

We were praying for fully developed lungs on the next X-ray!

When God is Silent and All You Can Do is Wait...

I am all about
Quiet and Calm... 
About Slow and Sabbath.

It took me years to give in to it,
to embrace it.
But this is actually
how I am wired.
As in, God made me this way
on purpose, for a purpose.
I used to fight against it... 
I used to try to keep up. 
And then I just gave up
and didn't try at all for a season.

But here's the deal: 
 I still have to do stuff! 

Being wired Calm... 
being a slow, internal processor
is not all sleeping in
and being alone
(aka: introvert dreams)... 
It's not about being
passive or ineffective. 
It's about being
extremely intentional
and very effective, 
within healthy boundaries.


It took me years to figure out
what those boundaries look like.

I Surrender Some... A Five Minute Friday post.

What is this? 2013? Tonight makes FOUR weeks... in a row, people!!! 

The Tribe that gathers online on Twitter on Thursday nights that make up the Five Minute Friday community is the best gathering of Flashmob writers around!  We wait for the one word prompt and we throw caution and hesitation and editing to the wind, and we let our fingers fly and our feelings feel and we just wait and see what flows out in five minutes (or so! Because, grace!) and we hit Publish without second guessing or backspacing!

Tonight one of our own seems to be nearing the end of life on this side of Heaven... and so in Andrews' honor, as we pray for God's Presence to be thick around him, our one word prompt is: SURRENDER! 

{GO}

Surrender.

I see the word and I think, yeah. That.
And a heavy sigh quickly follows.

Why is it that when we think of Surrender, it's all shadowy and defeated? Immediately we feel the loss --of something, even if we don't know what!

We see the giving up or giving in parts, but we don't often rush to fully embrace the ceasing and yielding parts. 

There can be such Peace in those parts! 
Why do we kick against actually doing the Surrendering
when it can so often lead to relief and rest?

I think of the modified hymn, I Surrender Some...

Waking Us Up to Dream Again... The Dream Of You by Jo Saxton - a book review post.

I was so honored to be on this Book Launch Team for Jo Saxton's new book, The Dream of You.  Because - well, first off: Jo Saxton! Y'all maybe fell in love with her like I did while watching her speak at the IF:Gathering the last couple of years.  And also: Identity... man! If you spend any amount of time around this little corner of the interwebs, then you know! Identity... I can't stop talking about it...

Actually, it's Identity + God-sized Dreams + Intimacy with Christ + Prayer and what that equals is my jam! 


I promise you, I am not listening to The Greatest Showman soundtrack right now. (It's on Pause... literally!)


I didn't want it to influence EVERY post I write this month... but I will say this: 

The Greatest Showman is all about waking us up to Dream again... to take risks --and yet to not lose sight of priorities... and this book? Yeah... this book is also all about waking us up to dream again... it's about our willingness to follow Him and take risks and be who He created us to be (--yes, I am TOTALLY hearing "This is Me" in my mind right now. It's fine.) while not losing sight of what is really important!

In other words...

You Are Never Alone... A Five Minute Friday post.

Three weeks in a row... and sadly that is some sort of record lately! My goal in January was to get back to writing twice a week... but this week was stealing all my words --at least the ones I would want to bleed out and hit publish for public consumption! Praise God we know not EVERYTHING is meant for the Internet, right?

Still - it felt great to be back in this chair, with this Tribe, ready to let our fingers fly as we follow His lead with the One Word prompt! Tonight, that word for Five Minute Friday is: INTENTIONAL! 

Let's do this!

{GO}

Intentional...
  Oh yes... let's be that! 

Let's be intentional
in how we spend our
hours... days... lives. 
Let's be present and invest
in those around us.
Let's keep our eyes
and heart open... 

I think Intentional 
is such a great goal...
I mean to be it... to do it...
but sometimes I forget!

Sometimes it feels like there's
not enough time, right? 

Say you feel it, too.

Simplicity Life Hack... a Five Minute Friday post.

I'm not sure what kind of crazy 2018 is starting out with, but I managed to make it to the party two weeks in a row... even if only for a little bit! PLUS... I went to see The Greatest Showman again today, so it's shaping up to be a pretty stellar Thursday! 

Enough small talk... (We're not big into that around here, just in case you hadn't noticed!) Today, the One Word Prompt for Five Minute Friday is SIMPLIFY!

{GO}

I see the word and I recognize it. 

I've seen it over and over and over
across all the social medias
in the past few weeks! 
Maybe it goes along with the whole
clean slate, fresh start feel!

It sounds familiar because
it makes me think back to simpler times...
an uncluttered mind...
an unhurried pace...
an undivided heart.

It makes me think of times in my life
when life felt right and good
and - you know- doable!
A time when it seemed
as if I was nailing it.
(--at least more often than
I feel like I am now!)


To Simplify... 
  who doesn't want to do that? 

I mean, really?

Our lives can feel like they are
spinning out of control and as if we have
crammed way too much into our days. 
We run around breathless and tired
and we think, "Man, if I could just
get a handle on my life..."

So I stop and think back. 
I do a little silent reflecting
and I discovered a life hack
for you, sweet reader!

Do you want to know the sure-fire way
to simplify your life?

As the New Year Unfolds... The Importance of In AND With!

I love a full calendar and a bossy list of things to do --but not because I love to be busy... (read:I do not.) I love filling in and filling up a new week on my day planner because much of what I pencil in and write down these days are meetings with friends.

I am scheduling Gatherings where I'm being intentional... Some of them are just casual meetings or one on one time set aside in order to build up and pour out. Sometimes it is simply to catch up over coffee and chat, and sometimes it's to set aside time to pray together and press in and release His Kingdom... on earth, as it is in Heaven!

I hadn't been able to keep or make many of those kinds of meetings throughout most December. It seemed my Honey and I just kept passing some sort of bug back and forth in our little house throughout the entire month (or longer, to be honest!) and I was growing rather 7-ish in my impatience.  

You know, childish... stomping my foot a little in how my prayers were not being answered right now, today!

Right?  

Please say I'm not alone in this. I think we all can fall into this stance without really being aware of it!

So a couple of days ago, I was reflecting over the past few weeks and I decided to simply ask Jesus what His thoughts were on it all. (Brilliant, I know!)

Let me back up a little...
This is what had happened:

MOTIVATE - The First Five Minute Friday post of the New Year!

Oh my Goodness... Joy! What Joy to be able to hang out on Twitter last night for the Five Minute Friday party! I have missed this Tribe and it was so good to be back and reconnect!

Here's to a brand New Year... and getting back to a lovely routine that includes spending a bit more time in this little corner of the interwebs, pouring out my heart! I have missed connecting and interacting with y'all!

So here we are: The first Friday of the year... and you know that means that we are gathering a flashmob of writers to type free and fast... all centered around one simple word. 

That One Word Prompt today is MOTIVATE --because, of course, right? (This is a Five Minute Friday post, which simply means I set a timer and free write for five minutes flat, add a few photos, and hit Publish!)

{GO}

Ah yes... MOTIVATE... 
Motivation... Drive...

It all goes right along nicely with the New Year.

I'm not one for Resolutions as much as I am one for Goals - both short term and long term, but I will be honest here... (of course!) :

Last year was rough. 
It's no secret. 

Some of the ways are out in the open and some of them are held close to our hearts.  We were wounded and broken through much of 2017.  Many of our plans were... well, you know how that goes! (Prov 19:21)

We laid down a lot of what we wanted... or what we thought we wanted... and we gave room --made room-- for grace!

Of course --there were high points and blessings, too! 
It turns out if we will keep our eyes wide open, there is always a mixture of both high and low... of both mountain tops and valleys...

So here we are, at the break of a new dawn and this is when we huddle in close and we awake to dreaming, yet again!

This is a new day... a new year... and we feel Joy already coming for us, even when our weary hearts and healing bodies are slow to line up with the Truth!  

We feel Hope arising and let me tell you... 

Happy New Year!!! Our Annual Prophetic Post for the New Year - 2018 edition

HAPPY NEW YEAR, friends!

I can't speak for you, but for me? 
2017, man... good riddance!

Today starts the very very beginning of a brand new year! Blank Calendars, Day Planners, and Hope-filled Goals stare us down, waiting to be written and planned and lived out loud!

No matter how 2017 unfolded for you all, here we stand in the freshness of 2018 with a clean slate, a new chapter, a brand new year just waiting for us to step into it and begin again...

New Years Day, for me, always starts out the same way...

A Wrap Up Post on my One Word DWELL... aka How It Bossed Me Around (PLUS A GIVEAWAY!)

Ahh - it's almost the New Year! 

There is something about a brand new calendar and a clean slate... a fresh start and blank page that just stirs up all the feels for me!  Also - who doesn't love a calendar or day planner to fill up with possibilities and dreams for what's to come? (Stay Tuned for more on that below...)

I joined this movement way back in 2012.  I've played along with the growing community ever since!

We pray and wait... lean in and listen, and we pick one little word... --actually, we allow one little word come and pick us! It seems to be more long-lasting than the resolutions I used to make and forget about in less than a week or two. 

This year, my OneWord365 was "Dwell" and in the beginning it felt Oh So Romantic and Swoon-worthy! I couldn't WAIT to invite Dwell into my life for 2017!

I wrote a bit about Dwell here and here and here and here and here--but really, a lot of what Dwell did was boss me around... from creating space for me to slow and rest and dwell with Him, to coarse correcting when I began to dwell NOT on Him --but other distractions that were stealing my peace and my joy, to causing me to Dwell when all I wanted (or thought I wanted) to do was cut and run!

In reflecting over 2017, I realized that Dwell was super bossy in both the good ways and the not so great ways, too. 

Ermagherd... Berks!!! An annual post about the Books I Read in 2017

Hey Sweet Readers! 

Here we are near the end of 2017 and even though this year was hard and threw some serious curve balls and knocked me off my reading game, you know how I love me some books... (or 'berks!' as in, "Ermagherd! Berks!")

So this is the post where I take time to reflect back over the year and revisit some of my favorite reads! 

Here is a random list of books I read and loved this year! I feel like I slowed down a bit in all the reading this year... growing a (church) family took priority over both blogging and reading a bit more again this year, and then there was all the days and weeks in hospitals and with family and friends both in recovering and in grieving.

Still... 2017 offered up a FEAST in words...
Here are a handful that stayed with me!

***

Different... A Five Minute Friday Post

I didn't really INTEND to take a little holiday hiatus but it seems as if that is what is happening! Life has been full (read:busy!) lately and I've been fighting to (re)find some margins! This truth, plus the fact that it's Christmas time and things have been a bit heavy and hard all year long, and the fact that I am an internal processor, and the fact that I am just plain old tired, y'all... well - all of that adds up to not much blogging as of late!  I have intentions in writing book review posts and end of the year fun and other things, too --but let's just keep this real! I'll pop in when I can for the remainder of the year and will find a normal routine in writing hopefully come January yet again!

Until then, I'll just play along with this -our final Five Minute Friday link up of the year! The One Word Prompt today is DIFFERENT. (This is a Five Minute Friday post, which simply means I set a timer and free write for five minutes flat, add a few photos, and hit Publish!)

{GO}

Hmph... I was talking complaining to God about this just yesterday!  

About how this Christmas season feels different.  
I know we have experienced lows (goodbye Dave!) and highs (hello Lil Miss!) this year and yet the holidays came quickly and I didn't feel ready for them... I wasn't in the mood, yet! 
(Anybody?  Anybody?  Bueller?)

I kept thinking the Christmas Spirit would come... 
but even by mid-December, I was still waiting for it to arrive.

Christmas this year feels different... void... 
Traditions are still shifting and changing 
and we are making necessary adjustments 
but it feels not the same... 
somehow not as good. 

At least that is what the enemy whispers loud to me
in the corners of my spinning mind...

I've been preparing Him room in my heart, 
but it's my MIND that is overworked and overcrowded
and lately it seems I just can't get it to take a break, already!

Familiar Spirits and No Longer a Victim... A Five Minute Friday post.

Tonight is the last night of our Ladies Bible study that I accidentally started on Thursday nights! The good news/bad news is that while we are finishing up in time for the holidays, my Honey and I are praying about starting up a new group in January... but we have not yet decided on an evening. (It's just that Thursdays now seem normal... but we shall see!)

For now... I'm just gonna quietly play along, last minute like, and sneak in under the radar on the One Word Prompt of FAMILIAR. (This is a Five Minute Friday post, which simply means I set a timer and free write for five minutes flat, add a few photos, and hit Publish!)

{GO}

Once again, I accidentally saw the word prompt and immediately didn't want to write.

In fact, I had decided again and again that I was just going to skip it this week.

And yet here I sit... and the sinking feeling of Familiar will not go away. 

So I breathe in deep and slow... exhale fully and feel that old familiar ache. 

That all too familiar issue... 

You know the one... it's splashed all over headlines and whispered about in workplaces and it is completely ignored at family reunions...

It's the #MeToo of our time and when I see the word Familiar... oh I know... it is.

It IS familiar...

A couple of weeks ago, Facebook suggested I 'friend' the neighbor kid who sexually abused me... 

When Excuses Fade Away and Truth Takes Over... a Five Minute Friday post.

Just a few more weeks before I can officially rejoin the Five Minute Friday Community of Flash Mob Writers who love to party it up over on the Twitter on Thursday nights! Until then, I'll just play along here and over at the Link Up!  Let's go: This is a Five Minute Friday post, which simply means I set a timer and free write for five minutes flat on the one word prompt of: EXCUSE

{GO}

I see the word, and I know what it means...
but I hope I can uncover something different
because, ...you know, ...excuses!

Gah! My mind goes immediately to exactly where I do not want it to go.

Avoidance and excuses are not Kingdom ways... 
And I want my life to reveal Kingdom in every area. 

Conflict is not my favorite and as I wrote last week,
we are a people of Peace.  

However,
Peace will not reside in the midst
of denial and excuses.  

...Oh but the enemy will.  

The enemy will reside right in the midst of those things
and make himself super cozy and at home there.