I didn't really INTEND to take a little holiday hiatus but it seems as if that is what is happening! Life has been full (read:busy!) lately and I've been fighting to (re)find some margins! This truth, plus the fact that it's Christmas time and things have been a bit heavy and hard all year long, and the fact that I am an internal processor, and the fact that I am just plain old tired, y'all... well - all of that adds up to not much blogging as of late! I have intentions in writing book review posts and end of the year fun and other things, too --but let's just keep this real! I'll pop in when I can for the remainder of the year and will find a normal routine in writing hopefully come January yet again!
Until then, I'll just play along with this -our final Five Minute Friday link up of the year! The One Word Prompt today is DIFFERENT. (This is a Five Minute Friday post, which simply means I set a timer and free write for five minutes flat, add a few photos, and hit Publish!)
{GO}
Hmph... I wastalking complaining to God about this just yesterday!
About how this Christmas season feels different.
I know we have experienced lows (goodbye Dave!) and highs (hello Lil Miss!) this year and yet the holidays came quickly and I didn't feel ready for them... I wasn't in the mood, yet!
(Anybody? Anybody? Bueller?)
I kept thinking the Christmas Spirit would come...
but even by mid-December, I was still waiting for it to arrive.
Christmas this year feels different... void...
Traditions are still shifting and changing
and we are making necessary adjustments
but it feels not the same...
somehow not as good.
At least that is what the enemy whispers loud to me
in the corners of my spinning mind...
I've been preparing Him room in my heart,
but it's my MIND that is overworked and overcrowded
and lately it seems I just can't get it to take a break, already!
I force myself to slow and stop...
to breathe in deep and close my eyes --
to close out all the distractions and the doubts...
all the worrying and wondering...
all the less-than and lackluster
that has been constantly clamoring
for my attention.
'Tis the season, right?
I decked the halls and wrapped the gifts and still - that magical feeling is lacking and it can't just be me and it can't just be because of all the Heavy and the Hard...
Lackluster just keeps coming back to me and I know what it means but I look it up anyway and this is how it is defined:
And I consider working up my emotions and lecturing myself to remember the truth that I know (and yet sometimes forget) but the thought of faking it or just getting through has no allure to me anymore!
I have zero drive or desire to just call it in
--on any day, but especially on the holidays!
So I give myself permission to feel...
I give myself room to grieve...
but not despair.
I allow my feelings to come out in the open
and step into the light...
but they are not allowed to boss me or manipulate me
into believing their lies.
No... this is Christmas time --and Advent... and it's all about Jesus and His coming and it's all about the waiting...
And oh how we are ALL waiting
for something... right?
For someone...
For some answer to a prayer
whispered in the dark...
For some solution to a situation
that you are tired of feeling is hopeless...
We are all waiting for something...
And then I decide that I would press through and light the Hanukkah Lights anyway... even though I was saturated in lackluster...
And I said out loud into the dark of night the blessings about how the King of the universe is to be praised because He kept us in life, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this season.
"He kept us in life" keeps rolling around on my tongue and I can almost taste the hope in it.
I speak bold and clear the verses all about how The Light of the World has Come and how Darkness cannot comprehend it... --some translations say cannot or did not overcome it!
Yeah. That.
That is the truth that sometimes my feelings convince me is untrue. That this Darkness and this Heaviness and all this Hard is meant for me to carry and for me to solve or fix or heal... and it's not...
I am not the savior...
I am not the light...
but oh how He dwells IN me!
As I lit those candles
and recited the words that
Jesus Himself spoke out
under Middle Eastern skies...
I felt a little Luster stirring...
and little Light shining brighter...
{STOP}
Jesus came... this is Advent and this is Christmas
and He came through flesh and blood, in flesh and blood...
He was placed in a Cradle long before He hung on a Cross... but He came!
And while we live in this world, we will have a bit of Heavy and Hard... it's true. Some seasons are more full of that than others. But we also have Joy and Grace... we have the assurance that He came... and that He is coming still!
Until then, I'll just play along with this -our final Five Minute Friday link up of the year! The One Word Prompt today is DIFFERENT. (This is a Five Minute Friday post, which simply means I set a timer and free write for five minutes flat, add a few photos, and hit Publish!)
{GO}
Hmph... I was
About how this Christmas season feels different.
I know we have experienced lows (goodbye Dave!) and highs (hello Lil Miss!) this year and yet the holidays came quickly and I didn't feel ready for them... I wasn't in the mood, yet!
(Anybody? Anybody? Bueller?)
I kept thinking the Christmas Spirit would come...
but even by mid-December, I was still waiting for it to arrive.
Christmas this year feels different... void...
Traditions are still shifting and changing
and we are making necessary adjustments
but it feels not the same...
somehow not as good.
At least that is what the enemy whispers loud to me
in the corners of my spinning mind...
I've been preparing Him room in my heart,
but it's my MIND that is overworked and overcrowded
and lately it seems I just can't get it to take a break, already!
I force myself to slow and stop...
to breathe in deep and close my eyes --
to close out all the distractions and the doubts...
all the worrying and wondering...
all the less-than and lackluster
that has been constantly clamoring
for my attention.
'Tis the season, right?
I decked the halls and wrapped the gifts and still - that magical feeling is lacking and it can't just be me and it can't just be because of all the Heavy and the Hard...
Lackluster just keeps coming back to me and I know what it means but I look it up anyway and this is how it is defined:
Lackluster: lacking in sheen, brilliance, or vitality
: dull, mediocreYep... that about sums it up!
And I consider working up my emotions and lecturing myself to remember the truth that I know (and yet sometimes forget) but the thought of faking it or just getting through has no allure to me anymore!
I have zero drive or desire to just call it in
--on any day, but especially on the holidays!
So I give myself permission to feel...
I give myself room to grieve...
but not despair.
I allow my feelings to come out in the open
and step into the light...
but they are not allowed to boss me or manipulate me
into believing their lies.
No... this is Christmas time --and Advent... and it's all about Jesus and His coming and it's all about the waiting...
And oh how we are ALL waiting
for something... right?
For someone...
For some answer to a prayer
whispered in the dark...
For some solution to a situation
that you are tired of feeling is hopeless...
We are all waiting for something...
And then I decide that I would press through and light the Hanukkah Lights anyway... even though I was saturated in lackluster...
And I said out loud into the dark of night the blessings about how the King of the universe is to be praised because He kept us in life, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this season.
"He kept us in life" keeps rolling around on my tongue and I can almost taste the hope in it.
I speak bold and clear the verses all about how The Light of the World has Come and how Darkness cannot comprehend it... --some translations say cannot or did not overcome it!
Yeah. That.
That is the truth that sometimes my feelings convince me is untrue. That this Darkness and this Heaviness and all this Hard is meant for me to carry and for me to solve or fix or heal... and it's not...
I am not the savior...
I am not the light...
but oh how He dwells IN me!
As I lit those candles
and recited the words that
Jesus Himself spoke out
under Middle Eastern skies...
I felt a little Luster stirring...
and little Light shining brighter...
{STOP}
Jesus came... this is Advent and this is Christmas
and He came through flesh and blood, in flesh and blood...
He was placed in a Cradle long before He hung on a Cross... but He came!
And while we live in this world, we will have a bit of Heavy and Hard... it's true. Some seasons are more full of that than others. But we also have Joy and Grace... we have the assurance that He came... and that He is coming still!
I admit to being right in the midst of them.
But speaking the blessings and reading the verses out loud in the dark shifted something in me just enough that a little more Light could shine through!
And instead of just pleading/begging/doubting that some magic would happen, I decided to join ranks with the multitudes before me, and align my heart to hope and my soul to yearn as I choose to wait.
I'm not just waiting for Advent to (as my friend Michelle says) feel more Adventy or for Christmas to feel more Christmasy... I'm waiting with expectant hope to embrace the One who is the Gift... the One who is the Present...
I'm praising the King of the universe who kept us in life, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this season...
And all of the sudden:
"Then Jesus said, “I am light to the world and those who embrace me will experience life-giving light, and they will never walk in darkness.” John 8:12 The Passion Translation
Praying you experience life-giving light and embrace the Christ-child and the King this Christmas Season!
The FMF lowdown: The gathering happens on Twitter on Thursday nights & then we write our hearts out & hit publish all over the interwebs on Thursday & Friday (& sometimes on Tuesdays!) It's where we encourage & uplift... where we share prayer requests & praise reports... where we talk food & friends & we find support & kindred hearts. It's where we are reminded that life is good & God is good & we're not alone... & then we all write for five minutes flat, a flash mob of wordsmiths letting our hearts & our fingers do the talking tapping & we hit publish before we can second guess it all away. We'd love to have you join us!
I'm also linking up with the lovely writer communities linked below:
A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, THE LORD SPOKE TO ME AND THROUGH ME REGARDING SABBATH REST AND I TURNED MY 31 DAYS SERIES INTO AN EBOOK ON AMAZON. IF YOU ARE FINDING YOURSELF IN NEED OF REST (WHICH --WHO ISN'T, REALLY?) CHECK OUT THIS SHORT, DAILY DEVOTIONAL 31 DAYS OF RESTING IN GOD ...IT'S EASIER/HARDER THAN YOU THINK!
YOU CAN PURCHASE IT BY CLICKING HERE OR GRABBING IT FROM THE SIDE BAR TO THE RIGHT IF REST IS SOMETHING YOU KNOW YOU NEED, BUT JUST KEEP PUTTING OFF!
A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, THE LORD SPOKE TO ME AND THROUGH ME REGARDING SABBATH REST AND I TURNED MY 31 DAYS SERIES INTO AN EBOOK ON AMAZON. IF YOU ARE FINDING YOURSELF IN NEED OF REST (WHICH --WHO ISN'T, REALLY?) CHECK OUT THIS SHORT, DAILY DEVOTIONAL 31 DAYS OF RESTING IN GOD ...IT'S EASIER/HARDER THAN YOU THINK! YOU CAN PURCHASE IT BY CLICKING HERE OR GRABBING IT FROM THE SIDE BAR TO THE RIGHT IF REST IS SOMETHING YOU KNOW YOU NEED, BUT JUST KEEP PUTTING OFF!
Yes "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness will not overcome it." And the waiting....yes...we are all waiting for something. Clinging to that waiting in Advent as we wait for the Christ child to be born. Love you sweet friend!
ReplyDeleteLove you too, my friend! Happy New Year!
DeleteWhen life goes by at blazing speed, everything is a blur. Sometimes taking a break slows us down enough to see what really is important.
ReplyDeleteComing to you from FMF #69
Amen to that thought... AND that action! Happy New Year, Janyre!
Delete