MUSIC - A Five Minute Friday post

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Welcome to Five Minute Friday! It is a community of writers who write for five minutes flat, using a One Word prompt --a Flashmob of writers all leaning in and seeing what spills out as the timer ticks away! 

This is a Five Minute Friday post...and our Word Prompt this week is: MUSIC!

{GO!} 

I see the prompt and I can't help it! I am a lover of music and I am well aware of the power it has in my life!  My first thought goes to how so many songs have the power to draw you back to a moment or a memory and what a gift that is/can be!  

While I love all kinds of music, it comes as a shock to no one that worship is my favorite! I'm married to a gifted and anointed musician... a worship leader who is intentional in creating space for the Holy Spirit to come... to interrupt... to take over.  

Do you Feel Distracted? A Guest Post by Kelly Balarie

I know it's been a LONG drought of silence around here on the blog.  

It was sporadic at best through a long hard season and then --well, crickets really since going back to work!

I do write my monthly newsletter (she says, realizing it was due today and it's still waiting for me to finish and hit send!) However today, in this space, I wanted to invite a friend to share her heart with y'all! Many of you know and love Kelly already, but for those of you who may not have had the pleasure, let me just say --her new book, Rest Now, is just what we need! You're gonna want to get it so you can let the message work its' way into your heart and your actual life!

Without further ado: Kelly Balarie!

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I had no idea what was above me. I was focused on the stop sign to the right of me, or the people crossing the street, or changing the radio station in the car that day...I was not caught up in what was above me. But, suddenly - and I can't say why -- I looked up.

There I saw a brilliant display of nature. The sky was gorgeous. It was radiant, blue, red and purple hues strewn all over the sky. It seemed to convey the brilliance, the majesty and the beauty of God all at once. 

I would have missed it if I had kept my eyes on the million little things happening in front of me. 

Ermahgerd, Berks!!! (aka Books I Read - The 2019 Edition)

Hey Sweet Readers! 

      Do you even remember me? 

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Here we are at the end of another year!  Chances are good that if you are still here, then you were probably with me through most of 2018 as well. You may remember all the issues I battled with my eyes.  So, we know going INTO 2019 that reading all the things was not going to happen! You may remember the surprise I found when counting the books I read last year... even with months of bed rest and no eye strain, I managed to read nearly 20 books! I was hopeful that number would increase this year post-surgery if all went right!  I am happy (Blessed, fortunate, thrilled!) to report that all went right... and now we come to actually count the number of books read in 2019 to see if it increased or not!  Still,  --either way, you know how I love me some books... (or 'berks!' as in, "Ermahgerd! Berks!")

So this is the post where I take time to reflect back over the year and revisit some of my favorites! 

So, here's the deal: 

  I really didn't know how this year would go! 

I mean... I spent much of 2018 on bed rest and unable to read but still managed to read nearly 20 books... well, a handful were listened to instead, but still! 2019 started off with back to back eye surgeries and I'm not sure how much of that whole thing I actually blogged about but let's just say the first eye was miraculous and the second eye --not so much! (At least not right away... not for weeks and weeks and weeks!) But after all my recovery, I am now seeing better than I have my entire life --without the aid of contacts or glasses! (Well - this is real life and I am turning 50 in 2020, so I do use non-prescription Readers... but that's all!)

Still, I thought this list would be shorter because there were a couple of months I was most definitely NOT using my eyes... but it seemed as soon as I could, I was back to having a book in my hand...

When You Long for More... A Five Minute Friday post.

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Hello, Friends! I'm happy to report that I'm sitting in this chair, ready to tap out some words --but YOU GUYS!?!!??! THE SUN IS SHINING AND I SEE ZERO CLOUDS (read: NO IMPENDING SNOW!) in the sky!

This is a Five Minute Friday post... which simply means I set a timer and free write for five minutes flat on the one-word prompt: MORE.

{GO!}

I see the word and I feel it down deep... 

the Longing for More... 

it's been a drawn-out season of waiting...

of hunkering down in the In Between.

For much of the past year or so, I've not really fought against the call to slow... to be silent... to give time and space to heal and to allow my soul room to breathe... as well as giving it room to re-focus, re-center, and re-emerge!

I've stated several times over the past couple of weeks that I feel as though I'm coming back to life again!

I see Hope around the Edges

and I hear the sing-songy-ness in my voice again

as I talk or speak or pray or laugh.  

I see a glimpse of myself and I think,

"Oh My! I have missed her!"

Over these days that turned to weeks,

and weeks that turned to months, 

(and months that turned to years!)

I've come to realize that an important part of the 

Waiting in the In-Between season

is meant to be a Gift!

When Life Doesn't Feel Just or Fair... A Five Minute Friday post.

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I have been quiet(er) than normal lately -- both in this space and in real life... mostly this is because of oral surgery and a slower than hoped for recovery. It's amazing how teeth/jaw/ear pain can make you not want to talk --or think, or do much of anything else either, really! Still... that's only part of why I've grown quiet.  I'd like to think it is maturity and wisdom (--I know that it is!--) but that maturity comes from mostly letting Him be the boss of me --not only with what I say and write but also with what I think and focus on! (It's a journey, Y'all!)

This is a Five Minute Friday post... which simply means I set a timer

and free write for five minutes flat on the one-word prompt: JUST

{GO!}

I set the timer to five minutes and mull over the word prompt. "Just" immediately points me to Justice and because of the season we have been walking through, my mind then jumps to thinking about how to live out our faith when Life doesn't feel Just or Fair!

Because you guys: I can stomp my foot and curl out my bottom lip with the best of them! I can... (and I have! But thankfully, mostly that has been at home in private! Mostly!)

Here's the thing: 

Life is NOT Just or Fair.

Not all of the time, anyway!

A Year in Review... the Top Ten posts on the Blog.

 (according to stats, anyway!)

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I hadn't really planned on doing a Year in Review post because --well, because I haven't really been as active on the blog as in years' past, and I'm allowing myself short sessions in front of a screen, pre-surgery!

And also because some of MY favorite posts didn't get much traffic or comments at all. Yet, it's always interesting for me to look back and see which posts created the most views or interaction.  I will say I miss the olden days of Blogging when the comment sections were full(er) and filled with community and back and forth conversation! I so value when you take the time to add a comment - short or long. It's such an encouraging reminder that these words we tap out here matter... and they make a difference!

So - without further ado, 
here are the TOP TEN posts of 2018:

Be Still and Know... A Five Minute Friday post.

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I see the word and think of something we just chatted about for our latest episode, "The Christmas Story - Gospel Edition" on The Changing Our Minds Podcast... and I also think about how I keep wishing all of this Stillness and Waiting would move along already!

Here we go:

This is a Five Minute Friday post... which simply means I set a timer
and free write for five minutes flat on the one-word prompt: STILL

{GO!}


When I see the one-word prompt,
my mind goes to an all familiar phrase...
one that we say often and one that has
felt oh so bossy as of late: 

"Be Still and Know that I am God." (~Psalm 46:10)

I mean... I used to love this verse!  
I used to relish in entering in a bit of
Stillness and Silence.  

I'm sure I will come to love it once again,
but over the past month or so
I have grown weary of waiting.

I've been pondering the 400+ years of silence
and it is not lost on me
--how my impatience is so silly
in light of my (relatively 'short') wait.  

And also there is this: 
I know deep down in my bones and my soul
that --always!-- He is worth that waiting...
He is worth the wait!

In Oceans Deep My Faith Will Stand... A Five Minute Friday post.

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Hello there, sweet readers!

Can you even believe that today is the beginning of December? DECEMBER, people? 

I don't know about you, but I'm not so sure I'm ready for all that tends to come at us during this month! That may be because I am still 'grounded' awaiting surgeries in January, and we will not be doing many of our 'normal' December things this year because of that.  (Some of this makes me happy... and some of it, not so much!)

Anyway, December is here whether we are ready or not! So let's welcome it and kick it off together... This is a Five Minute Friday post... which simply means I set a timer and free write for five minutes flat on the one word prompt: DEEP

{GO!}

I see the word and immediately hear
the lyrics to one of my favorite songs... 

"You call me out upon the waters The great unknown where feet may fail And there I find You in the mystery In oceans deep, My faith will stand..."

"My faith will stand..."

I sing it over and over... 
Sometimes as a statement or declaration.
Other times, as a plea and a prayer!

Because through the last few years, --you guys!!!--
I have felt the 'Oceans Deep' part, for sure!

He has called us out upon the waters... He has!
We talk about it all the time
--how He calls us to be water walkers
and how we believe... 

When Nothing Feels Complete... A Five Minute Friday post.

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Hey there, Sweet Readers!  Oh my, how I have missed you!  How I have prayed for you... Even when words would not spill out in this space, you have remained in and on my heart and His!

Honestly - I had NO PLANS to do the whole 31 Days Challenge this year. To be fair, I'm still on the fence. I didn't even want to pray about it! I mean, Y'all know how He is bossy about it with me every year. I just wanted to not do it... because I'm tired... and He's quiet... and I'm still processing all the things that He is teaching me. And yet... it seems He may just have an opinion about whether or not I do it! I'm still going to have to chat with Him a bit longer before I decide yes or no!  

Until then... here I sit... ready to tap out something that will be somewhat of an offering --for you and for Him! Let's go! Our one-word prompt is: COMPLETE!

{GO}

I am not sure, really, what is going on with me.

I pause longer than usual after I tap out that opening line... because it's true on all accounts.  I am not sure... and while I am consistently preaching about being authentic and vulnerable, this feels like a bit too much of both, thank you very much.  

But what I do know for sure is we are in one of those in-between spaces and we are being called to sit and wait... to not rush it! To Watch and See... before (or maybe so that) we can Taste and See! I've written about the not rushing recently and it seems we are still in the midst of this holding pattern. 

And it's fine.  It is... 
It's fine but
Nothing feels complete right now.

When We Can Not RUSH a Season... A Five Minute Friday post.

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I see the Word prompt and I immediately know what He has been speaking to me... I'm amazed at how it all comes into clarity just at the sight of this one little word! It explains why it has once again been so quiet around these parts... and it reveals my longing and how even when my flesh wants what it wants... I have given Him full access and ownership of my heart - so I let Him be the Boss of me... even when I don't want Him to be!

Let's go! Our one-word prompt is: RUSH!

{GO}

Immediately I think, "How many times have I wanted to RUSH right on to the next thing? How many times have I pleaded to just be released to move along already?"

Too many to count, lately! 
  I'd love to rush the transitions.

It's hard enough sometimes to come to the end of something... a season or a dream or a task... and know it's the end. To be willing to let it go or lay it down. That alone is a challenge... But then to be held in a loving embrace that forces all forward motion to cease? I mean... come on!  

This is not how our culture works!

We find'success' and 'satisfaction' in our productivity and we often accidentally find our sense of identity wrapped up in what we do --even though we know it's really all about the being and not the doing.  

That's super great to SAY... but to actually allow Him to hold you still, and keep you small... hidden, even... That is something else altogether!

A Vacation In Your Mind... A Five Minute Friday post.

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Let's not even pretend... I simply forgot what day it was because: Summer + a mid-week Holiday = Who Can know what day it is this week?! 

Our One Word Prompt is VACATION. This is Five Minute Friday! 
Let's go...

{GO}

I see the word and I think immediately, "Yes, Please!"

I mean, who doesn't want/need a vacation from time to time?

When I think of that word, visions of sand and sea come to mind... or memories of changing planes and booking hotels and exploring someplace new... 

I can reflect back to trips taken as newlyweds and as a new and growing family. I think back to traditions kept and remember when new ones were created... 
and I am oh so thankful!

We love to travel, but let's be real:
We don't have the budget for that.

At least not as often as we'd like! 

We always say it's just time and money... 
But when we are short on both, 
I've learned that we can still
take a vacation in our mind.

When the Ocean Beckons You Out... a Five Minute Friday post.

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I had a friend stop by last night and --well, I'm pretty sure you and I both are getting tired of the excuses of why I keep missing out on the gathering on Twitter! My best explanation right now is: Summer! One day soon, I will make it back! 

Our One Word Prompt this week is OCEAN,  which just so happens to be one of my very favorite destinations and that friend I mentioned above? Yeah - we talked about the ocean and how we can't wait to get back there together! This is Five Minute Friday! Let's go...

{GO}

I have long had this love affair with the ocean.

I just can't get over it... how it beckons me to come closer... to sit and listen... to watch the mesmerizing rhythm of the tide pushing and pulling and how it reminds me that I am oh so small... and yet, oh so loved and held and protected!

It's so romantic... when it's warm and sunny and the kites are flying and the kids are playing in the waves... and when it's stormy and windy and the rains are coming at you sideways and threaten to blow you off course. 

Either way... 
I will take to the ocean
and lean into the Lord... 

When It's Not Just Your Weary Body That Is Tired... a Five Minute Friday post.

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It just figures that after a three week hiatus... after three weeks of being grounded and of battling sickness and believing for healing and of enforced 'rest'... well - Tired still somehow applies and that is our One Word Prompt today.

The Five Minute Friday community is the best gathering of Flashmob writers around!  We wait for the one word prompt and we throw caution and hesitation and editing to the wind, and we let our fingers fly and our feelings feel and we just wait and see what flows out in five minutes (or so! Because, grace!) and we hit Publish without second guessing or backspacing! Our one word prompt is:TIRED! 

{GO}

I have been grounded for three weeks... but I had been tired for much, much longer than that!

While I was given a doctors' order to simply (ha!) stop all the things and rest my eyes, the Lord gave me His order to stop all the things and rest... my eyes, yes --but also my mind and my bossy lists and my pouring out and my restless, relentless want for clarity.  

Yes, He asked me to simply stop every little thing and sit and wait... to sit and trust... to sit (or nap, thank you Jesus) and realize that it wasn't just my physical body that hit a brick wall... it was not just my body that was tired, but my soul that was a little busted up and bruised... my heart a little weary and worn out. 

So He asked me to cancel all the plans (which is normally like Christmas morning for an introvert) and just sit and wait... and He asked me to learn to be comfortable in being uncomfortable. 

Great! Super! Fun!
  (only exactly the opposite of that!)

When You Just Can't See...

(...as in, quite literally!)

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So, I was just humming along
trying to keep my goal of posting
twice a week here and showing up
at the #fmfparty Twitter party to
reconnect with my tribe
and finding my flow
and then... 

Well... then I finally went to the eye doctor
because these headaches and migraines
were getting worse and more frequent
and as much as I thought they were stress related,
I wanted to know one way or the other!

You should know that I have
a history of battles with/for my eyes.
I was born with cataracts
and had them removed as a teenager
as I was quickly losing my sight.  

I have warred and declared
and prayed for healing in
big (read: miraculous) 
and small (read: no more floaters!) 
ways for all of my days. 

I don't often take
the gift of sight
for granted!

Anyway - the eye doctor ran some tests
and while all the biggies are good...
(retinas healthy and intact, 
no new cataracts trying to grow back,
no glaucoma, etc.) 
she took a good look at my corneas
and sent me home.

When God is Silent and All You Can Do is Wait...

I am all about
Quiet and Calm... 
About Slow and Sabbath.

It took me years to give in to it,
to embrace it.
But this is actually
how I am wired.
As in, God made me this way
on purpose, for a purpose.
I used to fight against it... 
I used to try to keep up. 
And then I just gave up
and didn't try at all for a season.

But here's the deal: 
 I still have to do stuff! 

Being wired Calm... 
being a slow, internal processor
is not all sleeping in
and being alone
(aka: introvert dreams)... 
It's not about being
passive or ineffective. 
It's about being
extremely intentional
and very effective, 
within healthy boundaries.


It took me years to figure out
what those boundaries look like.

Ermagherd... Berks!!! An annual post about the Books I Read in 2017

Hey Sweet Readers! 

Here we are near the end of 2017 and even though this year was hard and threw some serious curve balls and knocked me off my reading game, you know how I love me some books... (or 'berks!' as in, "Ermagherd! Berks!")

So this is the post where I take time to reflect back over the year and revisit some of my favorite reads! 

Here is a random list of books I read and loved this year! I feel like I slowed down a bit in all the reading this year... growing a (church) family took priority over both blogging and reading a bit more again this year, and then there was all the days and weeks in hospitals and with family and friends both in recovering and in grieving.

Still... 2017 offered up a FEAST in words...
Here are a handful that stayed with me!

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Different... A Five Minute Friday Post

I didn't really INTEND to take a little holiday hiatus but it seems as if that is what is happening! Life has been full (read:busy!) lately and I've been fighting to (re)find some margins! This truth, plus the fact that it's Christmas time and things have been a bit heavy and hard all year long, and the fact that I am an internal processor, and the fact that I am just plain old tired, y'all... well - all of that adds up to not much blogging as of late!  I have intentions in writing book review posts and end of the year fun and other things, too --but let's just keep this real! I'll pop in when I can for the remainder of the year and will find a normal routine in writing hopefully come January yet again!

Until then, I'll just play along with this -our final Five Minute Friday link up of the year! The One Word Prompt today is DIFFERENT. (This is a Five Minute Friday post, which simply means I set a timer and free write for five minutes flat, add a few photos, and hit Publish!)

{GO}

Hmph... I was talking complaining to God about this just yesterday!  

About how this Christmas season feels different.  
I know we have experienced lows (goodbye Dave!) and highs (hello Lil Miss!) this year and yet the holidays came quickly and I didn't feel ready for them... I wasn't in the mood, yet! 
(Anybody?  Anybody?  Bueller?)

I kept thinking the Christmas Spirit would come... 
but even by mid-December, I was still waiting for it to arrive.

Christmas this year feels different... void... 
Traditions are still shifting and changing 
and we are making necessary adjustments 
but it feels not the same... 
somehow not as good. 

At least that is what the enemy whispers loud to me
in the corners of my spinning mind...

I've been preparing Him room in my heart, 
but it's my MIND that is overworked and overcrowded
and lately it seems I just can't get it to take a break, already!