Remember back when I gave up Hesitation and Doubt for Lent? It was a couple of years ago now and what I remember most is that it was so freeing! I remember that somehow, I was able to actually do it... and oh my, if only I would remember to do it all. the. time.
I should start off by saying up front that even though I have had this revelation on the power of hesitation, I am not in any way nailing it every day! Oh no... but I wish I was!
And here's why:
When we pause and hesitate... it opens wide the door to fear and doubt. They actually tend to travel in a pack... you know, roaring about like a lion, seeking whom they may devour.
And no matter what form the enemy tries to come at me in, I remind him that he is NOT the Lion, and he may NOT devour me!
I am part of an online community started by Jennie Allen over on facebook. In the beginning, there were maybe 50 of us, however it grew to over 5,000 in a matter of days. One of the answers to a question asked early on was consistently, bravely, "Yes!" to whether or not they battle feeling like they are not enough.
It seemed to be a theme in this group of women from all walks of life, in all seasons of living... married, single; young, old(-er); in 'ministry', in the workforce, or working at home... it didn't seem to matter where they were or what they do - many if not most of them shared battling this feeling of not enough.
I should start off by saying up front that even though I have had this revelation on the power of hesitation, I am not in any way nailing it every day! Oh no... but I wish I was!
And here's why:
When we pause and hesitate... it opens wide the door to fear and doubt. They actually tend to travel in a pack... you know, roaring about like a lion, seeking whom they may devour.
And no matter what form the enemy tries to come at me in, I remind him that he is NOT the Lion, and he may NOT devour me!
I am part of an online community started by Jennie Allen over on facebook. In the beginning, there were maybe 50 of us, however it grew to over 5,000 in a matter of days. One of the answers to a question asked early on was consistently, bravely, "Yes!" to whether or not they battle feeling like they are not enough.
It seemed to be a theme in this group of women from all walks of life, in all seasons of living... married, single; young, old(-er); in 'ministry', in the workforce, or working at home... it didn't seem to matter where they were or what they do - many if not most of them shared battling this feeling of not enough.
Apparently, this fight for feeling like we are enough (or not too much) is an actual thing. It's something we all kick against from time to time.
As I read through the comments, it hit me hard that this must really break the heart of God! I mean, He is so in love with us and He sees us complete, and whole... He sees us how He intended for us to be. In Him, of course, we know that we are enough... we know that He fills us and equips us and sends us out to represent Him to a dark and dying world. We must be enough, because He left and trusted this whole thing now to us. He did all that needed to be done, so any way that we were not enough --well, He has redeemed that and made us whole.
So - here's my thought to a question asked way back in the beginning of that community online in regards to feeling Not Enough:
I loved the honesty and bravery of so many admitting that yes, we battle this - and yes, we often battle feeling Too Much as well. When I stopped to ask myself about these things, I realized I battled both of these more in the my twenties and thirties than I have so far in my forties --but I know that this is not a magic answer/age and it may just be that way for me. I asked myself why I battle these things and the answer that came quick and loud was this:
It's not so much that I battled with feelings of not being enough - or of being too much - the real battle unleashes when I give in to Hesitation.
As I read through the comments, it hit me hard that this must really break the heart of God! I mean, He is so in love with us and He sees us complete, and whole... He sees us how He intended for us to be. In Him, of course, we know that we are enough... we know that He fills us and equips us and sends us out to represent Him to a dark and dying world. We must be enough, because He left and trusted this whole thing now to us. He did all that needed to be done, so any way that we were not enough --well, He has redeemed that and made us whole.
So - here's my thought to a question asked way back in the beginning of that community online in regards to feeling Not Enough:
I loved the honesty and bravery of so many admitting that yes, we battle this - and yes, we often battle feeling Too Much as well. When I stopped to ask myself about these things, I realized I battled both of these more in the my twenties and thirties than I have so far in my forties --but I know that this is not a magic answer/age and it may just be that way for me. I asked myself why I battle these things and the answer that came quick and loud was this:
It's not so much that I battled with feelings of not being enough - or of being too much - the real battle unleashes when I give in to Hesitation.
Boom. Drop the mic.
That is it,right there. Here's the deal:
Whether you are feeling too much or not enough - both are lies... and what trips us up (or me, at least!) is the sometimes LONG pause, sometimes SLIGHT delay.
It's the hesitation that gives room for the Lie to begin to feel like Truth.
Whether you are feeling too much or not enough - both are lies... and what trips us up (or me, at least!) is the sometimes LONG pause, sometimes SLIGHT delay.
It's the hesitation that gives room for the Lie to begin to feel like Truth.
That is where my battle begins!
So - I am learning, over the last year or so - that as God began to question me by asking, "Who told you that you had a Comfort Zone?" - well, the truth is - I am more myself and more in line with what He wants for me, when I kick out fear and hesitation and just learn to jump and trust instead. (I know... scary, right? Gah!)
So - I am learning, over the last year or so - that as God began to question me by asking, "Who told you that you had a Comfort Zone?" - well, the truth is - I am more myself and more in line with what He wants for me, when I kick out fear and hesitation and just learn to jump and trust instead. (I know... scary, right? Gah!)
Last year my One Word was "Wonder"... lovely, right? And it was! My husbands word? "Spontaneous" (Yeah... I may have peed a little when he told me! Why? Because as much as I know and write about and encourage others to embrace change... well, I like my comfort zone. Sigh.)
This year, you can guess what my Word is... "Change" - because, hysterical. I told God, "No thanks. I had enough of that last year." But, turns out, He really IS the boss of me and (eventually, anyway) I will do what He says! So we are embracing Change on a whole new level and oh my goodness, that requires less and less of a comfort zone... which makes it easier to not give in to Hesitation!
This year, you can guess what my Word is... "Change" - because, hysterical. I told God, "No thanks. I had enough of that last year." But, turns out, He really IS the boss of me and (eventually, anyway) I will do what He says! So we are embracing Change on a whole new level and oh my goodness, that requires less and less of a comfort zone... which makes it easier to not give in to Hesitation!
I wrote this quote this morning during a book study that I go to. The leader said something and I wanted to share it here because if this doesn't make you want to give up on hesitation and worry, well then - I don't know what will!
She was paraphrasing Wendy Backlund and said, "Worry is allowing the enemy to paint a picture in our imagination of what could happen in the future."
She went on to quote a line from the book we are reading:
Uh oh, right? This is the danger of hesitation!
It gives way to worry and fear, doubt and unbelief, and it lets vain thoughts run rampant in our imagination. But 2Cor10:3-5 tells us we are supposed to cast those down and bring our thoughts into captivity to the obedience of Christ. So I'm pretty sure that those fearful, worrisome thoughts that cause us to tremble and wring our hands... yeah, those are not so much to the obedience of Christ, now are they?
We know that we are not too much, and that, through Him, we are enough. We know it - but so often, we aren't so sure that we believe it.
Knowing our true identity helps to battle the doubt and, for me, kicking out hesitation requires more brave than I sometimes pack around with me, but I have yet to regret it when I do it.
I'm not saying to be reckless or to not take time to pray things through - but we all know when He has said to go or to stay - and we hesitate... we know when we are stalling or coming up with excuses. The older I get the more I realize that we were not meant to live safe, quiet lives... We were made for adventure - and hesitation talks us out of that, almost every time --if we let it!
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She was paraphrasing Wendy Backlund and said, "Worry is allowing the enemy to paint a picture in our imagination of what could happen in the future."
She went on to quote a line from the book we are reading:
"Our brain attaches faith to whatever it sees or thinks is true." (Wendy Backlund, Living from the Unseen.)
Uh oh, right? This is the danger of hesitation!
It gives way to worry and fear, doubt and unbelief, and it lets vain thoughts run rampant in our imagination. But 2Cor10:3-5 tells us we are supposed to cast those down and bring our thoughts into captivity to the obedience of Christ. So I'm pretty sure that those fearful, worrisome thoughts that cause us to tremble and wring our hands... yeah, those are not so much to the obedience of Christ, now are they?
We know that we are not too much, and that, through Him, we are enough. We know it - but so often, we aren't so sure that we believe it.
Knowing our true identity helps to battle the doubt and, for me, kicking out hesitation requires more brave than I sometimes pack around with me, but I have yet to regret it when I do it.
I'm not saying to be reckless or to not take time to pray things through - but we all know when He has said to go or to stay - and we hesitate... we know when we are stalling or coming up with excuses. The older I get the more I realize that we were not meant to live safe, quiet lives... We were made for adventure - and hesitation talks us out of that, almost every time --if we let it!
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I'd love to hear... because here's the other deal:
When I hear about how you put your brave on... it makes it easier to put my brave on, too!
P.S. I'm linking up with these lovely writers:
Kelly Chripczuk for #SmallWonders
Holly Barrett for #TestimonyTuesday
"He really is the boss of me"....best sentence ever haha!! Well, really it is second to this "It's the hesitation that gives room for the Lie to begin to feel like Truth." Wow! I totally get that, I see my hesitation allowing room for the lie to creep in. So blessed to be your neighbor at both #tellyourstory and #smallwonder
ReplyDeleteWinter... Hesitation - he is sneaky, right? So glad this resonated with you! May we both kick him out and find a bit more brave replaces him! Thanks so much for stopping by! (And He really is the boss of me!) lol
DeleteTHIS: "We know that we are not too much, and that, through Him, we are enough. We know it - but so often, we aren't so sure that we believe it." It can be so easy to get caught up in thinking we aren't enough, but God knows we are. Thanks for this reminder friend. I love finding you as my neghbor at the linkups. This week we are neighbors at Testimony Tuesday.
ReplyDeleteYay for being neighbors again! It IS so easy to get caught up and to forget! This is why we need community and sisters who remind us of Truth when the lies seem more real!
DeleteKarrilee, this post, combined with Anita's post about Living Forward, have kicked me in the behind. I'm drifting. Started with hesitation and has moved to drifting and not feeling like I can do ANYthing which is NOT true and NOT from God!
ReplyDeleteThe only thing lately that I've said a big resounding YES to (and, actually, sometimes it's a very quiet and hesitant yes-whisper) is staying in my marriage when most days I want out. My big brave yes is just obedience to God in this one matter.
And it's so HARD.
And so worth it.
I hope I can push out of my drifting soon and do more brave, more yes.
Thank you for writing and sharing. You helped me.
Oh sweet Shelby... I have been praying for you! Drifting, at first anyway, can trick us into feeling like we are resting... relaxing... unwinding and letting go! There is a call for those things, of course - but drifting if gone on too long, knocks us off course and isolates us. I know that feeling - both the good parts and the bad... I am so glad that you recognize the lie and where it was coming from! You are, after all, do ALL things through Christ!
DeleteSometimes staying IS the hard yes... and I don't know your situation, but I trust that you hear His voice, and if He is telling you to stay - then He will protect and guide you and rekindle the love.
Love you, friend! Praying for less drifting and giving in to hesitations, and more brave follow throughs!
I read part of this on the Village post you made. I'm pondering. Or, am I hesitating? Hmm. My husband says "If you think long, you think wrong." It's about truth, isn't it? I love what Joyce Meyer has said, "For heavens sake, you don't have to pray to have lunch with so and so, just take the risk and say YES." There is such a fine line and balance to walking this thing out every day. Good food for thought, Ms K.
ReplyDeleteThere really is! And sometimes, Wait honestly IS what He is telling us to do... to wait and pray and pause... but I know you and I both know the difference between when we are waiting on God, and when we are hesitating! ;) Love you, friend! May we make room for more brave by kicking Hesitation out the door!
DeleteThe 1st paraphrased quote from Wendy Backlund is awesome! I don't want to give the devil that power in my thoughts. I know there is only one future and that is the future that the God of Psalm 139 has for me. I shared this on Facebook. visiting from TellHisstory #30
ReplyDeleteRight? Have you read that book by Wendy Backlund? It's so good! I attend a Bible study of nearly 100 women and it was SO far out of their comfort zones - but they are loving it... because - Truth, man! Who wants to give the enemy that much power in our thoughts? I want to use my imagination for God... to expect and attach faith to good things that He has planned, rather than spinning in circles focused on What If's! Thanks so much for stopping by, and for sharing! Blessings!
DeleteDear Karrilee ... you've packed so much truth into one post. Truth we need to act on. This struck home for me --'When we pause and hesitate... it opens wide the door to fear and doubt.'
ReplyDeleteSomehow seeing it in black and white helps me realize that we have a few choices in there. Thank you ...
Thank you so much, Linda - for stopping by and for sharing how this resonated! Praying we both (all) close the door to fear and doubt, more and more!
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