Five Minute Friday: Again

Five Minute Fridays are hosted by Lisa Jo Baker.  It is open to anyone, so to learn more about it - and to jump in yourself (the more the merrier!) or just to find a linky to see what everyone is writing about today - click HERE!  The idea is to simply write... for Five Minutes flat... no editing, no deep thinking - or at least REthinking, no spell check - just write! Let it flow! We all write using a prompt that Lisa posts at one minute past midnight Friday morning (EST.)  I'm loving the community of amazing bloggers and the creativity that flows from these magical Five Minutes!

So - here goes:
Five Minute Friday - AGAIN

{GO}
This can not happen again... I missed the last two weeks now of the Five Minute Friday Twitter Party.  I can't explain how I miss those girls!  We have never met in person... and really have only begun being friends - but these sisters, these Daughters, these amazing women of God speak into my life and push me forward and I should have made myself come... sit here (or there - on Twitter!) and be real.  Instead - I entertained cruel imaginations and felt heaviness and despair wrap itself around me.  I should have come... luckily, within minutes... ok - maybe an hour... I snapped out of it and cranked up some music and worshiped my way back into a peaceful silence... quieting the downward spiral of thoughts that were pulling at me; whispering old familiar lies that can seem more real than Truth!

Wasn't I just talking about how the Love of God is All IN, and He comes at us Full ON... wasn't I just saying how important it is to remember even when we don't see it... when we don't feel it!  Then, out of nowhere, I am slammed into by an unseen force, a eucharisteo moment and I am feeling anything but thankful.  My thoughts turn to accusations and while I am not speaking it out loud - my heart is thumping, racing, running anywhere but here... I am wondering, "Where is Grace NOW?  Did You run out... are You withholding?"

Thank God I do not speak it... but thinking it can be even more dangerous.  When you speak it out - maybe someone will repeat it back to you and you will see the way it is twisted up and just wrong.  Thinking it can lead you down a spiral staircase that will get you no where good!

So I crank up the stereo... I lift my hands and my heart... and reluctantly my eyes... and that is when I saw it... again!  Again, I saw it - well, Him!  He was coming at me, full on and it reminded me of what I had been saying and I had to brace myself for His Full On love to wash over me and again... I saw it. I saw myself taking a step back in order to remain standing tall.

Sometimes it feels like we are going backwards or being knocked off course... but even then, He is right there with us... loving and covering and wrapping Himself around us and I knew I had the choice then and there... choose Him... or choose the despair.

Always... Again and Again... I choose Him!

{STOP}

Isn't it amazing how quickly something can come at us and knock us off center... and how quickly lies can feel like truth.. and how quickly we forget that we have a choice in it all... and how quickly - when we turn our attention to Him - He comes at us - FULL ON! (Did I not just write that here last week?)

Here... this should make the choice easier... I know it did for me!

(Thanks sweet Jennifer!)

~Karrilee~

Five Minute Fridays gives us the chance to dive right in and share what He puts on our hearts!
Click here to read what others have to say about "AGAIN":


I am also linking up with Jennifer over at Studio JRU and her Creative Sneak Peak Fridays for Artists of all kinds: