December 16, 2012

Count on...

I posted Friday on both of my blogs that they would remain silent for a few days... just needing to make room for the silence and grieving and heaviness that has hit our nation.  And yet - as for many... I write to sort out my thoughts and put focus to my emotions and maybe... as another sweet friend wrote this morning, my words will be your feelings and in sharing - we will join together and pray in agreement for God's Love to shine bright in the darkness... somehow!

In my last post, I encouraged you to journal through your emotions... this is from my personal journaling Saturday morning...

"It is December 15th... the morning after.  The morning after a national tragedy - but as much as it FEELS like that, it's really theirs. Newtown, CT - a small community and while we all as a nation; a world, grieve... it's in the everydayness of small town living that my heart and prayers go out to cover and to saturate Newtown.  A shooter, mentally ill (as if that information needs to be stated) killed his mother in her home, and then went to her work where she taught kindergarteners and he killed 20 children and 6 adults before his life was over. 

Tragic.  Unfathomable. Dark & evil and wicked... and we are reeling and topsy turvy and unsure of what to say and how do you help comfort an entire community so ravaged by death?  "Weep with those who weep..."  Oh, that part is easy but after that, what?  How can we see through the fog, the pain, the loss (and at Christmas time no less?) and ever even imagine that we will get to live out the next part of that verse?  With all that is within me, I want to Rejoice with Newtown!

Life goes on - ever so slowly... and there WILL come a time of rejoicing in that Community... and yet, right here and now - the marching on of time seems so cruel and unfair, when what we really want is for time to stand still.  But God - Who lives both inside and OUTSIDE of time is full of Grace and Mercy - at ALL times.  He is good - even when we're dizzy and not quite convinced of it.  He is good.

As I reach for this - my 'one thousand gifts' journal - the verse on the cover catches my breath.  "Count it all joy..."  Really?  All of it?  My spirit wants to try, but my flesh today is louder.  "But HOW?"  I know, from both His word, and from reading Ann's, that counting blessings - counting gifts, counting it all - brings healing, and well - joy. And yet today is a day of weeping and I guess even in that, we count on...

#403) Teachers and Staff who stepped up, hovered over, and kept safe.
#404) The Peace in last breaths that only He can give.
#405) That these babies blessed their homes - even for only a short time.
#406) That the shooting didn't last long, and there was an end to the madness.
#407) That memories of loved ones - good memories - live on, while bad ones will slowly (prayerfully) fade.
#408) That many parents were able to take their babies home with them... still alive.  Let's not forget!
#409) That Grace comes down like rain.
#410) That Goodness overcomes evil... that God wins.
#411) That today - at least on THIS day - we are One Nation, Under God...

Count on, my friends!
Count on!

1 comment :

  1. Amen, friend. Count on...He's always there. May we never stop looking.


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