If you missed the beginning of "Full On & All In" you can read Part One of this series HERE...
(Go ahead... I will wait for you!)
So I have been pondering... reflecting back over this life I have helped to raise up... sometimes clinging - yes... but at the same time, I am preparing my heart to let go on a whole new level. This requires me to trust... to trust her... to trust that we have done all that we could do... we have lived this life out loud and laid down a foundation of truth that she will build upon and not flee from.
Freedom has it's temptations and too many choices can be overwhelming - but I must choose to trust. I have to trust Him... that if He says He is All In with me... surely He is All In with her as well. With each of us!
The first visual that came to my mind when I began focusing on this phrase that God spoke to my heart earlier this year, "Full On" was not that of God coming at me or even a crashing wave... those came soon after - but the first thing I 'saw' was a memory.
I used to pack up my things... my Bible and notebook, a diaper bag and all that that includes, jump in the van and hit the road for church.
I would drop my chubby cheeked toddler off in a room with other littles while I went to a Bible study to learn more about God... to learn from other Mom's and Wives about how to be a Mom and a Wife. I treasured that season - then and now! But my girlie was so shy... so quiet with her words... she preferred to be by my side rather than anywhere else. Still... it was our routine and she was getting used to it!
She would reluctantly leave my side and find someone or something to play with all the while keeping a nervous eye on me as I signed her in and hung up her coat. I would wave and promise that I would return... she'd flash me a shy nervous little half-smile and shrug her shoulders a little. It was as if she was saying, "I know I'll be alright... but I would rather just be with you, Mommy!"
I knew she had fun - and was in safe capable hands. But it was the end of Bible study that was always my favorite... I would say my goodbyes to all the grown ups and find my way back to where my heart was... I would turn the corner and open the door. It wouldn't matter what she was doing... as soon as she caught glimpse of me - she would drop whatever she was doing and RUN to me. Full On! Yes... that! FULL. ON.
It was pure bliss and love uninhibited... it was safety and security and unspeakable joy of hearts being reunited! Oh - how my heart skips a beat just in the remembering of it all! My breath catches as He reminds me - this is not only how He comes at us... Full On and All In! But we are His children - and oh how He longs for us to catch a glimpse of Him - and to drop everything that is pulling for our attention... how He longs for us to run to Him full on - not holding anything back! Can you feel His eyes pulling for you to come... can you hear His heart, singing out your name?
Yes, my girlie is tall now and preparing for a whole new life... a new beginning of a new season is fast approaching and recently, I have been having flashbacks and comparisons... remembering bedtime giggles and spooning after storytime, praying in toddler whispers... "Will you tickle my back, Mommy?"s and "Sing to me!"s!
I tear up a bit and can feel my chin quiver when she asks me these very things, right here - tonight... live and at the age of 17... spooning on her twin-sized bed is trickier now - but oh how I would endure a kinked neck and sore back for days just to be able to say yes to this request!
Don't we all just long for that security... that same-as-it's-always-been stability... the comforts of home can look and be different for each of us - but we can trust that He knows just what is needed to help us feel safe and secure! To hear Him pray over us... singing a song for us... to feel Him wrap Himself around us and hold us close!
I don't know about you - but I have learned more about how He loves me, in finding out how much I love her... For her... without a doubt or an ounce of hesitation - I am All In with her... through good and bad... right and wrong... easy and hard... I come at her Full On and I am All In with her! My prayer is that she knows this... that she can feel the truth of it - and that she can see that as much as it is true for me... it is truer for HIM! As much as I love her, He loves her more!
I can say the same is true for you, my friend! As much as you are loved... and please know and don't ever doubt that you are! - HE loves you more than anyone - any human - ever could! He is ALL IN with you, sweet reader... and He is coming at you Full On!
I'd love to hear what kind of visual stirs up in you when you hear that phrase, "Full On" and "All In"?
Check back tomorrow for more on how He loves us... and calls us to Be Love!
How could I not include a song... a audio visual, if you will, of how He is Full On and All In!
(I pray you won't have time to maintain regrets either - when you think about the way He loves you!)