When there are no words...I invite you in

I want to write...

I want to have something to say...

But not just anything
- not just words
to fill your screen,
but I long for prose
that will allow
hope to fill your heart.

Me - who is rarely at a loss for words,
am finding myself in the quiet... in the still...

...in waiting...

                                                                                         Blessed Memories 2013

I am sitting in corners, and praying silently for Oklahoma, for all of us... 
I am gathering with my tribe and talking about the best and the worst,
and where we found God in between...

                                                                                        Blessed Memories 2013

I am searching for words of wisdom,
and yet leaning in to embrace the Grace of God
that in times like these can seem elusive
and the mysteries of God that can seem unfair...

Oh my how in these moments, we just wish He would answer to us!
...that He would explain Himself and this mess of a world
and why if He could calm the wind and seas back then...
then why can't He do it now?
Through us?

And in the midst of my wondering and my whys - this... 
this is what He said:

"Never forget, My love, that I hear you when you pray! Never let your intercessor soul fall into a routine of saying words, but not expecting that I am gathering them up as they slip out of your heart and right past your lips! They make a difference... YOU make a difference... simply by turning your heavy heart towards me and lifting up heavy hands anyway."

Sometimes we praise on - anyway.
We do it because we know in our heads it is right
even when we feel in our hearts that it won't matter.

Sometimes we have to be like Jesus
and call things that are not as though they are...
and sit back... breathe in
even when we have no air
- and watch Him work! 

                                             Blessed Memories 2013

There is a goldmine... treasure untapped
when we remember that our God is in the details,
but He is also a Big Picture God.

He is inside and outside of time and He holds everything in His hand.
He uses all things together for good for those
who are called according to His purposes
but oh how these verses can hurt
when they are meant to heal.

Sometimes - we are just too zoomed in... too caught up in the details,
and we forget that He is so madly in love with us...
that His heart is for us more than anyone elses'!
He holds all the answers, even when He is
- for whatever reason - not really doling them out for us.

When we are broken - He was broken first...
When we feel at a loss and out of words
- He IS the Word,
and He assures us that
not one tear, not one sparrow
 not one beloved person - young or old -
is ever truly lost to Him!

So I invite you in...

In to the quiet today...
in to the gentle rocking back and forth,
- a mothers' silent anthem of comfort,
...in to the leaning in, the praising on,
the unspoken accepting of the fact that sometimes
- sometimes - we just don't have all the answers,
but thank God, we know the One who does...

We know the One who can bring peace,
restore order, heal brokenness...
We know the One who holds our hearts
and gathers our tears,
and He can take all our
wondering and our why's...
He longs to be a Bench for you
in this season of unknowns.
He is willing to sit with you,
hold you close, rock you warm, & hear you out...


...and in return, He asks for you
to be a Bench to others.

                                                                                       Blessed Memories 2013

And so, I invite you in...
How can I be praying for you today?

Speak Life.  Be Love.  Shine On.
~Karrilee~

Counting On, Pressing In, & Requesting Prayer

"We must not reduce ministry to what we are capable of doing."                                                                                                       ~Bill Johnson

When I heard this spoken out loud, my spirit wanted to cry out in agreement and my flesh wanted it to take root down deep and bear fruit right away!  Oh how I am guilty of this... and not just 'ministry' but life at large.  We forget that we are in relationship with a God who is intimately, ridiculously in love with us and He is at work when we can see/feel/hear/know Him, and when we can't!

Last week was rough...

I thought I knew Hard Eucharisteos before... but then we got a bad report, a confirmation of something we had been praying against for awhile now and I was so unwilling to give thanks for it.

So. Much. UNWILLING.

Sometimes the hits just take your breath away and sucker punch you right where it hurts the most... while gasping for air and blinking away the dizzying stars, we can tend to invite the enemy just right on in and we can reduce ministry, life, -God, to what WE are capable of doing (forgetting He is in this equation too!) and in the midst of bad news - the grey skies and thunder rolls scream at us that we can't do much. Not anything 'right' anyway.

And yet... we count on.

It may take awhile to count the cancer as a gift... (if ever, really) - but we can see His hand in other ways - Peace that is unreasonable in the face of illness and uncertainty; Love that draws us in close and reminds us how fragile we are... how this life is temporary when all the while, we are eternal... we see His hand in reminding us of the power of prayer... of 'keep on keeping on' and building our faith, of how we are not made to live alone - disconnected, but we are part of the Body of Christ and we so often need others to come alongside us and hold up our arms... and that means that we have to be willing to be real and to ask and to allow others to see that we need help, that we don't - in fact - 'got this'!

Sometimes that alone is scary... we can think it is safer to keep it all to ourselves and (sadly) sometimes it is... but we were made for community and it is easier to Count On when we are surrounded by others whom we are truly grateful for.

If we can't count the eucharisteo,
we can count the ones who are willing
to go through it with us!

With that said, my sister and her hubby took a risk... they got real and real transparent and they risked having to battle fear all the more by letting others in. But this - this - they couldn't (and didn't want to) face alone!  A very small handful of people, us included, have been praying against cancer for quite some time.  After doing natural treatments, and seeing some success... after several prayers and the laying on of hands, and seeing the lump shrink, it was concerning that the wound was still not healing.  So they came to the conclusion that it would be better to know for sure - all along the way - praying that the report would be good.

They have lived this out... this - another quote that I heard Bill Johnson say regarding how to have Breakthrough:

"In private, you cry out for more, and in public you take risk."

They have prayed and cried out in private - individually on their own, with each other, with us... and now they are 'in public' taking risk but clinging to the power of prayer and open to prayers of friends and family - and strangers who are family at large...

This is Jack... my brother-in-law and my brother in Christ... simply my brother whom I love...

He is my sisters' other half and they intertwine and mix as one flesh more than anyone else I know... he is an amazing husband, a loving father, a trusted friend... this man is an anointed worshiper and song writer whose gifting and voice has yet to be heard as it should be! He is a faithful worker, and a beloved son... a man of honor and a man of the Word... I could go on and on... but mostly, this is a man who is in love with Jesus and has faith in a healing God... in 'on earth as it is in heaven'... and we are asking for prayers for him and his family.

We believe that one day every name shall bow to the name of Jesus...even the 'name' of cancer. We are believing and praying for healing and wholeness and a long life ahead; that cancer will bow, and Jesus will lift Jack up - healed and whole and ready to continue the work of the Kingdom!

They go in today to meet with the doctors and schedule surgery... and now, more than ever, we count on...

Speak Life.  Be Love.  Shine On.

~Karrilee~

I am linking up with Ann Voskamp today and her Multitudes on Mondays as we count to #1000Gifts and beyond:

3 Gifts found in your mother:

#1209 - She is a Giver

#1210 - Sense of Humor/Quick Wit

#1211 - Commitment - when it's easy, and when it's hard!

3 Gifts found in His Word:

#1220 - His Promises are Yes and Amen!

#1221 - His mercies are new every morning!

#1222 - He heals all my diseases (Ps 103:3)

3 Gifts Unexpected:

#1226 - Jonah, sleeping in the new dog carrier on his own! 

#1227 - My girlie - WANTING to spend Friday night with us!

#1228 - Online friends - praying from afar

" Song" - Five Minute Friday!

After a rough week, while it may have seemed logical to curl up and turn to sleep for comfort (or Nutella - ya see what I did there?) - instead - I turned to the #FMFParty and - as always - it was the right choice!

So - first - The fine print: if you don't know what FMF is!  Five Minute Fridays are hosted by Lisa Jo Baker.  It is open to anyone, so to learn more about it - and to jump in yourself (the more the merrier!) or just to find a linky to see what everyone is writing about today - click HERE!  The idea is to simply write... for Five Minutes flat... no editing, no deep thinking - or at least REthinking, no spell check - just write! Let it flow! We all write using a prompt that Lisa posts at one minute past midnight Friday morning (EST.)  I'm loving the community of amazing bloggers and the creativity that flows from these magical Five Minutes!

So - here goes: Five Minute Friday - SONG ...

{GO}

Ah yes... this!  This is something that has been rolling around in my spirit for some time now!  The call to know the rhythm of your heart and to BE the Song.

To tune in, listen close, and sing out loud... live out loud - to Speak Life, to Be Love, and to Shine On!  

Sometimes it is risky

because we don't know the words...

but oh - if we but quiet our thoughts

& open our hearts,

we can hear Him singing our song...

we can hear Him calling us

to join in and sing!

And then... I read this post by Ann Voskamp, and about the African Tribe and how the pregnant women go out in to the wilderness and wait until they hear the song of the child... and they return to the village and teach the song to the rest of the tribe... 

And as we sat outside in my Tuesday group, we read Ann's words, and we wrote words on rocks, we crafted and we prayed and we asked God for NEW words, and we realized that this right here... this was our Tribe - in real life!

We have lived life together in this group... we have leaned in and fought hard, and cried buckets, and prayed strong. We have won, and lost, and lost our way... but not for long... because even when we didn't really have the language for it -
we had the drawing of the Spirit
to whisper in our hearts the words,
the lyrics, that were needed...
& we hugged tight & laughed loud
& we spoke the words soft
& sang some low...

...and we realized right then & there,
we didn't know that
we knew each others' songs
- but we know the Song Writer,
the Master lyricist, & when we ask,
well - He promises that
when we ask,
He hears us!

{STOP}

So lean in... listen for your Song... but not yours alone!  Ask Him to sing the song of others too... for I believe when we all sing out our songs together - what melody, what harmony there will be - 'on earth, as it is in Heaven!'

Speak Life, Be Love, Shine On!

~Karrilee~

Five Minute Fridays gives us the chance to dive right in and share what He puts on our hearts!
Click here to read what others have to say about "SONG"

When the Choice is Really Yours...

Every day.

Every day we are faced with choices... every day we make decisions, draw conclusions, and come into agreement with things or people or circumstances - almost unaware.

Some of our choices are formed by habit... choosing the same thing over and over lends to a routine that requires little choice at all. Your favorite outfit, your go to breakfast, the route you take to get to work, that morning coffee order...

Some of our choices are made on purpose... choosing a yogurt instead of the donuts, choosing to edit your thoughts before you speak your mind, being NICE when that is not what you feel like being, building up instead of tearing down...

Many of the choices we make, however, are made without thought. They can almost seem to be made for us... out of our control.

Friend, can I gently remind you that you hold the power of choice within you, no matter what you face each day... every day.

We've learned it real and lived it hard:

the lesson of the value that is immeasurable

when we count gifts and look for blessings...

...when we turn our attention to Him and give Him thanks; when we choose and determine to Speak Life, to Be Love, and to Shine On... every day. We've learned that this works... when it looks like it is working - and when it doesn't give any clue to whether or not He is at work at all.

Life can come down on you heavy, nearly suffocating the ability to fill your lungs, even just a little bit. You can round the bend only to be knocked off course fast... unsure of your footing and dizzy with confusion and pain.

Bent Over, but not Bent Low...

Panting for Air, but not Breathing In.

I am not saying to deny the truths of these things but to remember that even in the midst of challenges, possibly ESPECIALLY in the midst of challenges - we hold within us the power of choice. We are in Him and He is in us and we are One and we can choose to relish in that alone -count THAT! We can choose to silence the whisperings of the enemy shouting that we are in it all alone and that there is no hope. No - we can choose to not listen - to not entertain - to not give room for those thoughts to expand and take over!

Sometimes it has to be a choice on purpose to line up with what seems impossible, but we do it anyway - knowing that nothing is impossible when we are found in Him.

No - to Speak Life we must first

CHOOSE Life! 

We must stop making room and giving over chunks of time in our thoughts for Death... we must count on - even when the blessings are hidden and not where we want to find them. We count on anyway... we CHOOSE.

I am a faith girl, and one who strongly believes in the power of words... of what we speak AND what we allow to roll around in the back of our minds.  There is the power of life and death in our tongues... life and death for ourselves, and for those around us!  So let's purpose to CHOOSE life... to CHOOSE life in how we see ourselves, and those around us - in how we see our circumstances and what we deem 'impossible' or a 'lost cause'... let's ask Him for His perspective and what His choice for us would be and then, let's line up with that!

I know. I know it sounds so much easier than it really is and here is the secret of consistency in choosing on purpose, with purpose:

Do it anyway.

Do it when it's hard...

do it when it feels like

you are the only one doing it...

do it when it feels like

it's not working...

and here's the other key... don't do it in secret!

Take a risk and share it... let someone else know what you are choosing and why! Create a little community right where you need it most! They don't need to make the same choice... they don't even have to agree with yours... but let them in... Make it a discussion and find company in the struggle, commonality in the fight.  You may be surprised who will come alongside you in support of you (if not your choice)... for we were not meant for battle alone. We were created for Community and when we try to fight the impossibilities on our own, we fall under the attack of the enemy who woos us into thinking we have no other choice.

When really... the choice is ours... every day.

It's amazing what one small choice towards life - and one small step away from thoughts of death, of darkness, of impossibilities - can shift within you. Even if nothing on the outside changes, a ray of Light and a glimpse of Hope moves around inside of you and you will find yourself choosing on purpose, with purpose, more consistently.

Why, you ask? It's simple. Because when we teach ourselves this choice... this discipline... we find joy!

Joy!

...and who among us

couldn't use a little more peace,

a little more joy...

a little more Life

in our every days?

Counting on: Where I continue beyond 1000 Gifts & 18 years

Yesterday was Mother's Day (but really, isn't every day Mother's day?)

When we remember to Drink It In Slow, to Breathe Out Thanks, and to Count Gifts -to look for blessings, & stay grateful- throughout our days, every day holds within its' hours a Chance to Celebrate, and to Be Celebrated; an Opportunity to Honor, and to Be Honored; a Choice to Love, and to Be Love(d)!

 

In one full weekend, our Only turned from Baby Girl, to Nearly Grown Girlie, to All Growed Up!  18 and counting, and my how she can catch my breath and leave me slack-jawed and amazed!  Amazed by Grace; Undone by Love. 

How He shines through her - in the midst of good times, and in the darkest of hours. My how she shines, because - really - didn't Emily Freeman just say it best: "Her light comes from Jesus, not from her awesome behavior..."  So it makes little difference in what is going on outside - it's that He is going on inside and it just spills right out of her - His Joy... His grace... His Beauty!

Our All Growed Up (but not so much, really) Girlie got all gussied up and glammed out and went off Saturday night to make some memories at her Senior Prom.  After a hard year or two, and lots of (potential) Drama, she Braved Up and Leaned In and Refused to Miss Out!  She has some amazing friends, and they gathered together in celebration of all things High School and had an incredibly fun night!  

In the midst of her Prom, at the stroke of Midnight, she sent me a Mother's Day text.

Be. Still. My. Heart! ( #1204 and I count on...)

You see, this Motherhood thing is never finished!  We are never done. And whether life has been Birthed from Within Your Womb, or Built from Coming Out of Your Heart, it's what Spills Out from Between Your Lips that Creates a Bond... a Pouring Out and Filling Up and Loving Anyway;  A Grace Shower, Forgiveness Offering, & Holding On Tightly through it all...  

I have been blessed with an amazing Mom - but my mothering has not been limited to her alone!  Some of the best Mothers in my life didn't Birth me, but they did help to Birth Something IN me!

So as Mother's Day passes by, and the bouquets begin to wilt, the gifts are unwrapped (or counted and written down!), and the chocolate is nearly gone - let's not let the sense of Honor fade. 

Let's purpose to mother

and to be mothered

- for we ALL need it!

Let's risk the Breaking of our own Hearts in order to help Build Up someone elses!

Let's Count On... knowing that because we love Him, we are called to love each other!

Let's look for Open Doors, Hurting Hearts, and Lonely Eyes...

Reach Out, knowing that no matter the age of our children, "Mother" is not just what we are called, but it is who we are... it is what we do and it is not limited to the Littles we are raising!

I am counting on today - beyond one thousand gifts (I'm at #1210 today!), and beyond 18 years, because I know that my job is never done - no matter how old my baby is!  She had to work on Mother's Day, but I counted gifts all around me even with her not right in front of me... for I am blessed, and I count on...

For she, WE, all of us - need to be reminded...

(to) Speak Life. Be Love. Shine On.

~Karrilee~

I am linking up with the lovely Ann Voskamp today, with 'mulitudes on mondays'... Join us in counting gifts, and keeping an eye open for all the ways God blesses us, day in and day out!

Five Minute Friday - COMFORT

Tweetchat was not loading for me tonight - which made our Twitter Party ( #FMFPARTY ) a bit harder to keep up with, but I have learned that this gathering of Awesomeness is just what is needed most come Thursday night!

So - first - The fine print: if you don't know what FMF is!  Five Minute Fridays are hosted by Lisa Jo Baker.  It is open to anyone, so to learn more about it - and to jump in yourself (the more the merrier!) or just to find a linky to see what everyone is writing about today - click HERE!  The idea is to simply write... for Five Minutes flat... no editing, no deep thinking - or at least REthinking, no spell check - just write! Let it flow! We all write using a prompt that Lisa posts at one minute past midnight Friday morning (EST.)  I'm loving the community of amazing bloggers and the creativity that flows from these magical Five Minutes!

So - here goes: Five Minute Friday - COMFORT ...

{GO}

Comfort... even just the mention of the word conjures up all sorts of emotions, longing-for-home's, thoughts of arms-holding-tight and tear-stained-whispered-assurances, of food - warm and calming...

Is it not what we all want... really really want?  What we are all in search of... in need of... whether it is wanting Mom when we are sick (yes - even as an adult!) or support during confusion, love when we feel broken, a hand gently holding us - offering hope, an understanding "I know" when it feels like no one - No. One. - possibly can!

This week was fast and furious and filled both with moments of stress and flashes of comfort... Sometimes it comes at you in unexpected ways!  This week - a midst sickness, and health scares, computer crashes and babies turning into grown-ups... a midst broken friendships healing and deadlines fast approaching, unknown futures and all too clear predictions, this is what brought me to tears and wrapped me up in comfort:

Yes. This.

This is a plate, handmade for me by my girlie... she has made me plenty of gifts over the years - and even this year, during this art class... but this?  It's the inscription that undid me:

"Forever in your heart.  Always by your side."
Is this not perfection?

You see - if you haven't walked with me through the past year or two.. well, you just can't know! But this was like Comfort washing over and in and through me... like a Promise from her heart to mine that was spoken over and over, whispered night after night at bedtime, and giggled about over snacks for years and years... a promise made long ago - but still, yes - thank God - still oh so true today!

And really, is this not what He promises to us? To stay forever in our hearts and always by our sides.

Is this not what brings us Comfort that is real...
that is eternal...
that is (ever)lasting?

{STOP}

So many different directions one could go with this word...

Speak Life, Be Love, Shine On!

~Karrilee~

Five Minute Fridays gives us the chance to dive right in and share what He puts on our hearts!
Click here to read what others have to say about "COMFORT"

Grace In Motion - Throwback Thursday (aka Repost)

It's Throwback Thursday... so in honor of that, here is an old post from 2011 that the Lord has been reminding me of lately... Enjoy!

Speak Life. Be Love. Shine On.

~Karrilee~

"Grace In Motion"

"Who among us isn't hoping for, striving toward, and praying through a Breakthrough in one form or another? There is always something beyond where we are now and often it seems that there is something (whether real or perceived) that stands in the way. The keys have been given to us for breakthrough and much of what was handed to us I believe lies in the revelation that Victory is (already) ours... the price has been paid, the battle won, and the Authority transferred over to us to enforce. I've been pondering on the reality that we live - right now - in two realms..."

To read the original post in full, click HERE!

When too Many Memories are Forming at Once... & How to Not Keep Up!

This week has come at me full on - with bossy lists, extra tasks, an attack on my sinuses and a broken/crashed PC... not to mention Senior Prom shopping (Oh My - you should SEE the dress!), Graduation Announcement mailing, and finally buying those little Black Folders and the Gold Pens... (sigh!) Yeah - stuff just got real!

It's so official... my girlie couldn't even put her portraits into the folders, so I waited and did it after she fell asleep last night! She WILL have to write in them on her own... and will need lots of fluid and boxes of tissues, I am sure!  She's an Only... and she's never been very fond of change... as much as I have been posting about the coming changes - I don't want to give the impression that I am in the fetal position in the middle of the day (at least not quite yet!)... there are actually many parts of it that I am looking forward to and I am super excited for all that God has in store for her... and for us!  It dawned on me today that she graduates in one month... one month?

We hadn't even done the math because this--? This is a CRAZY week!  My girlie turns 18 on Friday... her Senior Prom is on Saturday, (Mother's Day is Sunday) and that all requires some extra errands: hair and nail appointments, gift buying, dress & shoe shopping, cake making, & flower ordering.  Add to all of that, her work schedule, my writing schedule (or lack thereof), Dave's responsibilities, and our house battling sickness.

Many of the things coming at us fast are memories in the making and they are all at the end of a Season.  So - of course - they feel so important and vital and this stirs up my perfectionistic tendencies and desire to get it right!  I had felt like I had been in a fog (thanks to my sinuses!), and dragging behind, not quite able to catch back up when my Tuesday small group showed up this morning and I had no plan in place... no activity mapped out... no energy or study time to just whip up something awesome on the spur of the moment!

But as I was feeling exhausted and inept, God reminded me of a little (or not so little) piece of Awesome that now resides annoyingly in my Living Room!  We have lived in this house for nearly 18 years (note: Remember - our Only is not a fan of change!) and we have NEVER had a television in this room.  We have a family room downstairs - which is where this new purchase will live eventually - but for now - it's been in the corner of our quiet living room - loudly vying for attention (even when turned off! It's just ridiculously big!)  However - this morning, I was glad for it's need for attention, and for the fact that it is pretty Smart too. I typed in "Emily Freeman" on my YouTube app and stumbled upon our lesson for the day!

We watched all four sessions of "Letting Go of the Try Hard Life"... and my if this wasn't EXACTLY what we all needed to hear today!  Then - in another inspired moment of brilliance, on a whim - I typed in "Grace Williams" and we cranked up the worship and invited Him in to speak to our hearts... to silence the Good Girl voices and to show us how to Do Less, and how to Be More!

Well - when we but shift our attention toward Him, and ask Him a question with an open heart, He just loves to swoop right in.  This is what He had to say to my heart (and I am guessing that if I needed to hear it, well - then it's quite possible that you do too!) :

"Instead of you being the perfect (fill-in-the-blank) - how about you let Me be Perfect?  How about you take Me with you in all your imperfections and let Me shine, and heal, and purify?  How about when you feel overwhelmed and inadequate, when you feel like you're not doing it right, or getting it right - not seeing it right or writing it right or saying it right, you stop and you allow Me to show you how I Am seeing you, right there - in that moment?  Feel My love and adoration, my joy and satisfaction in you... breathe it in and stand taller, My Bride, and step into all that you ARE - by simply being!

So when life is unfolding and coming at you fast... when you find yourself striving to DO Perfect, you may just find that you are forgetting to BE with Me! I am in you and you are in Me... when you are feeling oh so late and like you just can't keep up... this is how you do it:  stop rushing through... let go of keeping up and instead, on purpose - with purpose - S-L-O-W it down a bit, breathe deep, and remember to invite Me in.  

Remember that you gave Me your heart... it is Mine now! You invited me in and I abide in you... with you...  Hear this Child: You are enough... you Do enough!  You go with Me and together, we flow... we dance... we pour out Love and we fling seeds of Hope... we, My Dear, make a great and powerful and Oh-So-Effective team!"

I don't know about you, but I needed those words today!
I am enough... because He is enough... and when I simply invite Him in,
we are able to partner up and I can be fully present in the moment...
trusting that when I am in His Presence, I am not just keeping up...

I am overcoming and overflowing and THAT--? That is what it's all about!

Speak Life.  Be Love.  Shine On.
~Karrilee~

Don't be Afraid to Bloom...

“THE TIME CAME WHEN THE RISK IT TOOK

TO REMAIN TIGHT IN THE BUD

BECAME MORE PAINFUL

THAN THE RISK IT TOOK

TO BLOOM''...” 

            ~ Anais Nin

I have loved this quote for years

and often think back to it

when I can feel Risk

inviting me to unfurl a bit...

to broaden my horizons,

to let myself be seen.

Sometimes we can think

we know what is happening,

but underneath

- beneath the surface,

God is at work,

and seemingly overnight,

we awake to find ourselves

open wide... in full bloom,

with Dreams unfolding

& Hope Arising...

with Boldness stirring to be

all that you are meant to be!

Spring has sprung...

in my garden, & in my heart,

& I don't know about you

but I am just about tired

of being afraid to jump off that cliff,

of taking that risk...

of Blooming!

Join me, won't you?

Let's be the Song,

& Bloom together

this Spring!

~Karrilee~

I am linking up with my sweet friend Barbie

this weekend over at The Weekend Brew...

Warm up that cup of yummy & join us!

Five Minute Friday - "BRAVE "

Even with pain (sickness), fatigue (recovering from (in)RL still), and Chaos in the house (The fam is playing with the new SmartTV we bought for #inrl!) - I could not stay away from #FMFParty tonight! I decided it is good for my health! These girls; these amazing women; this cray-cray, glitter-flinging, nutella-eating, gathering of insanely talented writers are good for my soul, my heart, my spirit!

So - first - The fine print: if you don't know what FMF is!  Five Minute Fridays are hosted by Lisa Jo Baker.  It is open to anyone, so to learn more about it - and to jump in yourself (the more the merrier!) or just to find a linky to see what everyone is writing about today - click HERE!  The idea is to simply write... for Five Minutes flat... no editing, no deep thinking - or at least REthinking, no spell check - just write! Let it flow! We all write using a prompt that Lisa posts at one minute past midnight Friday morning (EST.)  I'm loving the community of amazing bloggers and the creativity that flows from these magical Five Minutes!

So - here goes: Five Minute Friday - BRAVE ...

{GO}

Brave...

I posted this video here earlier this week, (thank you Jennifer Dukes Lee!)...

...and ever since, it has been rolling around my heart... it's melodies stirring up some nerve... it's rhythms reminding me that this is truly who I am... and this who I want her to be, too!  This is the goal!

The first time someone told me I was Brave in my writing, I laughed... and then I wondered why she would think that?  My thoughts were more like, "Funny... rarely - if ever - in the whole of my life have I felt Brave..." But my goal in sharing here is to share Real and Be open... if you can learn from what I have done right- and from what I have done wrong - well then, we're all better off for it, right?

I can be bold here - but in real life, I can be quiet... a surprising introvert at times. I can shy away from a challenge if I can't quite crunch the numbers and figure out the odds.  I can talk myself out of risk faster than I can talk myself into Nutella (and there ya go, for the #FMFParty crowd!) and yet...

...even when I don't FEEL Brave, the things that I DO are Brave... and this I know - beyond any shadow of doubts!

For I am a Mom... and not just a Mom, but a Mama...
one with open arms even when my heart is bleeding out...

I am called to DO Brave things even if I don't FEEL Brave at all!

In this season, over and over again, I let her go, literally and figuratively... and I scoop her back up, literally and figuratively. The mere thought of her closet being at another address or her ever being lonely for me when I cannot immediately fix this obvious tragedy - well - my chin quivers and I know (well - I know NOW!) that I should just not read anything by Ann Voskamp that day - but I can't let her see this!

No - for her sake - I have to balance letting her in, letting her SEE... and protecting her heart, stirring up hope and excitement, rather than sadness or regret.

For her... and for me... I have to Be Strong and Do Brave - even when I don't feel it!

So I practice letting go - so we don't tear apart!
and there is really just nothing more Brave than THAT, now is there?

{STOP}

Hmm - I suppose you can tell that I got my girlie back home after a week away from me!  It was a nice little trial run at the whole independence/emtpy-nester thing... we all liked it for the first few days but then we were so over it! (Gulp!)

Speak Life, Be Love, Shine On!

~Karrilee~

Five Minute Fridays gives us the chance to dive right in and share what He puts on our hearts!
Click here to read what others have to say about "Brave": (edited to correct this link - and add a photo of my girlie!)