Honestly... I. Just. Can't.
I thought, "I know today is a writing day, Lord. But I just can't. I can't find words for all of my feelings and my emotions are not allowed to boss me around when there is so much frantic noise and so I just am not feelin' it today. I'm sure You understand, right? Surely - You had a day or two when You were here in the flesh, putting up with all this mess..." (fades off, ducking head.)
Yeah. Some days it is hard.
Life comes at us and can seem unfair (It is.)
And unjust (Again, it is.)
And brutal (...)
It can feel like it would just be easier to escape with Netflix... to turn your back... (to turn off the t.v. --which is really not bad advice, btw!)
It can feel like we miss the days when we were sleeping in ignorant bliss...
But for the love of God... we don't.
We must remind ourselves that we don't miss those days.
Those days were only nice for us.
They did no good, for way too long.
And I'm not just talking about race and riots, but also natural disasters and warnings and bills adding up and insurance not coming through... I'm talking about All. The. Things. and not having time to just stop the madness and process any of it.
And pretty soon that frantic noise is not just external but coming from internal churning as well and the call to just take a nap pulls hard. Pull the covers up and allow yourself to numb.
But we know that is not the answer.
Praise God, we know this now.
We may not know what the answer is, but we know what it isn't...
And so as I sat down to write... (because even on the hard days, a Writers Gonna Write!) I tried to think of something else to write about. Somethingbetter easier, not because I am afraid but because Gah! It's so heavy, and I like to know at least a little what I think before I start to talk about it all out loud. And then I saw my friend Deidra post this... and I saw it as an invitation.
So before I had much more than a title (which may or may not make sense now!), I grabbed my shoes and my shades and I let my feet find some solid ground, as I allowed my heart and my mind to settle --to refocus, and remember!
Just today at Bible study, we talked about the importance of building monuments of God's faithfulness rather than building monuments of despair and disappointment.
One of those kinds comes easier than the other, right?
At least ondays weeks years like this.
And yet... we will find what we seek... I said it just yesterday.
So I sought the Lord...
and small wonders...
I sought grace & glory
and oh how I found it!
I was reminded of the call God gave me years ago now... of how it is simple and clear... (which is different from easy and obvious!) More and more I am realizing that to do this well, --well, I am gonna have to give up my Comfort Zones.
But if/when I remember to actually DO it... it is Kingdom.
It is to me, as Deidra asked at the end of her post, Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will Be Done...
It is to Speak Life. Be Love. Shine On.
And as I rounded the corner and descended back down the hill towards home, the clouds rolled in and threatened to overtake the sun.
But the sun would not stop shining... burning through... breaking through!
I thought, "I know today is a writing day, Lord. But I just can't. I can't find words for all of my feelings and my emotions are not allowed to boss me around when there is so much frantic noise and so I just am not feelin' it today. I'm sure You understand, right? Surely - You had a day or two when You were here in the flesh, putting up with all this mess..." (fades off, ducking head.)
Yeah. Some days it is hard.
Life comes at us and can seem unfair (It is.)
And unjust (Again, it is.)
And brutal (...)
It can feel like it would just be easier to escape with Netflix... to turn your back... (to turn off the t.v. --which is really not bad advice, btw!)
It can feel like we miss the days when we were sleeping in ignorant bliss...
But for the love of God... we don't.
We must remind ourselves that we don't miss those days.
Those days were only nice for us.
They did no good, for way too long.
And I'm not just talking about race and riots, but also natural disasters and warnings and bills adding up and insurance not coming through... I'm talking about All. The. Things. and not having time to just stop the madness and process any of it.
And pretty soon that frantic noise is not just external but coming from internal churning as well and the call to just take a nap pulls hard. Pull the covers up and allow yourself to numb.
But we know that is not the answer.
Praise God, we know this now.
We may not know what the answer is, but we know what it isn't...
And so as I sat down to write... (because even on the hard days, a Writers Gonna Write!) I tried to think of something else to write about. Something
So before I had much more than a title (which may or may not make sense now!), I grabbed my shoes and my shades and I let my feet find some solid ground, as I allowed my heart and my mind to settle --to refocus, and remember!
Just today at Bible study, we talked about the importance of building monuments of God's faithfulness rather than building monuments of despair and disappointment.
One of those kinds comes easier than the other, right?
At least on
And yet... we will find what we seek... I said it just yesterday.
So I sought the Lord...
and small wonders...
I sought grace & glory
and oh how I found it!
I was reminded of the call God gave me years ago now... of how it is simple and clear... (which is different from easy and obvious!) More and more I am realizing that to do this well, --well, I am gonna have to give up my Comfort Zones.
But if/when I remember to actually DO it... it is Kingdom.
It is to me, as Deidra asked at the end of her post, Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will Be Done...
It is to Speak Life. Be Love. Shine On.
And as I rounded the corner and descended back down the hill towards home, the clouds rolled in and threatened to overtake the sun.
But the sun would not stop shining... burning through... breaking through!
And then I came home to find this:
"I can’t wait to hear what he’ll say.God’s about to pronounce his people well,The holy people he loves so much,so they’ll never again live like fools.See how close his salvation is to those who fear him?Our country is home base for Glory!Love and Truth meet in the street,Right Living and Whole Living embrace and kiss!Truth sprouts green from the ground,Right Living pours down from the skies!Oh yes! God gives Goodness and Beauty;our land responds with Bounty and Blessing.Right Living strides out before him,and clears a path for his passage."~Psalm 85:8-13 The Message
Yes, Lord. Let it be so...
Let it be so.
P.S. I'm linking up with these lovely writers:
Karen Deschenes Courcy for #TuesdayatTen
Jennifer Dukes Lee for #TellHisStory
Holley Gerth for #CoffeeforYourHeart
Meredith Bernard for #Woman2WomanWednesday
Yes! Monuments! I've been keeping track of my altars - the ones I make to thank God for his blessings - so that when I have moments of doubt, when I wonder where he is, I can look back and see the altars behind me and remember he is always with me.
ReplyDeleteAmen, Liz! Amen! Praying for you guys in this transition... believing with you for all that He has in store!
DeleteThere's such beauty in vulnerability, and your post lets it shine through! So, honest and real! Those days we just want to hide out from our inner voices! I love how deeper truth reigned!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for stopping by, Kathy! His deeper truth always whispers louder than the lies can scream --we just have to listen!
DeleteThose lilacs are delicious! And, I believe you are doing quite well out of the comfort zone and soon, you can have coffee again! ;)
ReplyDeleteAmen to that, my friend! ;) (I'm gonna give in tomorrow because - hello, long flight day!)
DeleteBe love and shine on! I hear it loud and clear! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThank YOU! Like I said - it is simple and clear - but not easy or obvious much of the time!
DeleteLove the pretty pics. Hang in there. Your God will see you through. He is always faithful and will prove true. You will testify to His goodness.
ReplyDeleteThanks Debbie! It's not so much heavy around here personally as it is in the bigger picture - but you are right... He is always faithful and will prove true! Thanks so much for stopping by!
DeleteWoops, not sure where my first comment went, my bad!
ReplyDeleteI love coming to your blog, Karrilee, your posts are treasures through the week... today you must have been transmitting right from my own head?! At any rate, no matter where we find ourselves, I love your words about the Kingdom. Makes me hear TobyMac's lyric that says, "May Your Kingdom Lord, be what wakes us up and what lays us down."
Well now - I love having you come to my blog... so this works out nicely for the both of us! ;) And that lyric? Wow... I'm gonna need to Google that one and listen! Let it be so, Lord!
DeleteOh friend Let it be so!!! God's kingdom come, thy will be done. It all is so heavy! In fact, I have a hard time watching the news these days because of all the heavy. Yet God does have a way of bringing beauty out of brokenness doesnt he? Oh and those lilac pictures so beautiful. I remember picking lilac bouquets for mom when I was a little girl. Oh and Psalm 85-- ALL THE YESES!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's like you GET me! xoxo (...and my slackerish Voxer ways!) ;)
DeleteYes, Karrilee - it is so hard to move out of our comfort zones, isn't it?! Love your words; that scripture from the Message was right on...love how plain and to the point the Message comes through!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing...the photos were beautiful, too!!!
Thanks Barbara! Have a blessed rest of your week, friend! Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteSometimes I read your posts and I feel like you are sharing my thoughts without my permission! HA! I love this place you are creating here. You are inviting so many to come, vulnerable and find connection. That. Is. Powerful.
ReplyDeleteKindred, my friend! It's always such a joy to see you here! xoxo
DeleteKarrillee, I did the exact same thing about 3 hours ago....started to watch the news, you know, to 'catch up' and I thought, "Ugh!" and went for a walk instead....I posted some pictures on Facebook, though I was tempted to write a blog post about it. No need to now. :-)
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's a matter of wanting to keep my head in the sand but a reversal of where I'm looking and who/what I'm listening to. Scripture says, 'they overcame him (the devil) by the blood of the Lamb and THE WORD OF THEIR TESTIMONY." Our testimony to God's greatness in spite of every awful thing that's going on right now, His favor, His faithfulness...it's still all true. And He shows us just how much He's in charge through creation.
Your photos were awesome-r than mine....and the monuments--very cool.
(The Message version of Psalm 85 is awesome, btw.) Thanks for this.
Kindred, my friend... you and I... and I am oh so thankful! xoxo
DeleteBeautiful site and gorgeous photos you've shared along with your words. Happy to visit you back from #TellHisStory. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Lisa! Happy to have you stop by!
DeleteSo beautiful, friend!
ReplyDeleteThe only thing that could have --would have,made Jumping Tandem better would have been to have you rocking on the front porch right beside me, friend! xoxo
Delete