March 31, 2014

Surprised by Motherhood... from day one all the way to now!

So... it's not like we hadn't discussed having a baby one day -  but we hadn't really been trying. I had just been hired on at our church - agreeing to a salary of half of what I was bringing home before.  But it would be worth it because, less stress + more time to press in to God = win-win!

It was on vacation between jobs that I was - shall we say... uh 

- surprised by motherhood.   I knew it immediately, but tried to remain in denial for weeks and weeks.

For nine months... I was sick. Every. Day. Sick.  As in throwing up while driving, while sitting, while eating... yeah.  I was fun like that.  It was rough and we had a scare or two along the way and by the time I was two weeks overdue, I was so over being pregnant and thought, "Let's just get on with it already!"

Through my entire labor, the nurses told me I was not in labor. I was scheduled to be induced the following day and they just sort of planned on me taking up time the next day - but not so much that day!  I feel like God tricked me in the best way possible because He knows how I am. I didn't have time to really stress out or worry and I thought it hurt - but I had better pace myself if this was not labor... turns out it was, and finally when we had a shift change with a new nurse (Praise the Living God Jehovah!) - I was just a few pushes away from Motherhood.  She arrived, wide eyed and alert... like she had been waiting for me to hurry up and get here!

Aaaah - Motherhood.  The blessed exhaustion that gives a title as it takes every ounce of every thing else (ever.)  OK - not ever... but for long seasons at a time, it sure feels like you are drained and dry, with nothing left to give... 

Can I just say this: I have loved it. Every. Single. (Draining.) Season.  

Being a Mom... that is my jam. It is what I feel I was made to do and while I am fully aware that not a one of us does it perfectly, I was feeling pretty confident that I was doing it well (for years and years.) Seriously - I was nailing it... until maybe I wasn't. That feeling of confidence disappeared all together at one point... but Grace has a way of rushing right on in and filling those gaps... spilling into all those cracks! Time is like a healing balm and forgiveness is a gift we give each other.  Love truly does cover, bind up, make whole again.

I have an Only... and my Honey is an amazing, loving, hands on Daddy and that, I know, makes a huge difference.  We were blessed with a Girlie who is the best of both of us and yet completely her own person and she gave herself to Jesus at the ripe old age of four... 
Oh my stars - she's my favorite!                             

We have had our struggles... the testing of boundaries, the growing pains, (the hormones)... we survived the girl drama, the boyfriends (sweet Jesus), and all of the high school years.  We survived the late nights, the school dances, the slumber parties, the closed doors and silent treatments. We had ups and downs, goals fulfilled and dreams dying... we had family vacations across the country and family discussions in a pile on the kitchen floor

But through it all - we reminded ourselves that we were raising a human being who we would want to hang out with when she was all growed up... and here we are, her - all growed up, and we're still hanging out!

The good seasons were great... the hardest season I honestly thought would kill me.  My heart that was always open, began to close up - to self-protect, to question this Call to Motherhood.  Maybe I wasn't so good at this afterall?  But here is the surprising thing of Motherhood... it doesn't really matter if you have given birth, or if you fell in love in other ways... we all have within us the capacity to mother... and when I have been sick, or lacking, or at the end of myself and have run out of any kind of mothering that I could muster... God sent in someone to mother me a bit and fill me back up!  So - this Call to Motherhood... it is a Call to Sisterhood too.  

It ebbs and flows and sometimes you will find, when your Little is little and gently 4, or when he or she is Not so Little and well into teendom or adulthood - they may just be the ones who God sends to come alongside you and love you back to overflowing!
It has been my honor, on the good days and the bad, to be called Mama and to pour into a life, to help build a heart that beats for Him.

I have this friend... this sister... this fellow Mama...
...and she has penned down her story of how she was Surprised by Motherhood and today? 

Well - today is the birth of a different kind of baby... and while I have only devoured the first three chapters, I highly recommend it! You just may need some tissues, and chocolate... 

...oh yes, you're gonna want a bit of chocolate too!

I can't even.
Happy (Book) Birthday, Lisa-Jo!

No More Sleeps... today is the day!  
You can order your copy from Amazon HERE!
If they sell out, and you cannot wait (who can, really?) you can also purchase a copy at any of these locations:
Barnes & Noble 





Linking up, talking about being Surprised by Motherhood, with Lisa-Jo Baker and with Crytal Stine for #BehindtheScenes.

Photo Credits - last 3 are used by permission from Lisa-Jo Baker


  1. Anonymous3:27 AM

    I have loved every season too, Karrilee! They are so wonderful and I'm so grateful to be their mama!

  2. Anonymous5:37 AM

    Karrilee, my girl and I are learning how to move from the Motherhood calling to the Sisterhood stage and it is hard but also so beautiful.

    1. Amy - yes, it is a transition that is best done slowly... but it is worth all the growing pains and shifting around! My own Girlie really IS one of my bestest friends and one of the people I most like to hang out with! It really is beautiful! Praying for you and your girlie!

  3. What a beautiful story of the seasons of motherhood! I'm still in the young stages, so it is great to hear from a mom who has raised her daughter and is now friends with her. Thanks for sharing!

    1. Rachel - I read your post last night and had the best of intentions in leaving a comment this morning but then... coffee didn't happen until later! I am so glad you stopped by here! The young stages are hard and awesome and you really WILL miss (parts of) them! This transition into having a grown up who you really love to hang out with - it is possible! Keep at it - it sounds like you are well on your way!

  4. Love this so much friend... This mothering thing it is full of the constant and ever changing seasons isn't it? Love you!

    1. I love you right back! So thrilled to be in this (nearly) Empty Nest season with you, friend!

  5. Karillee, I am still in the diapers and sippy cups stage, and this post was so encouraging. (I am sure my 4 year old thinks she is going on 14 though.) It is wonderful to get a glimpse of the people that my three little ones are becoming. Thank you for sharing your motherhood journey with us, and the lessons that you have learned along the way..

    1. Ah yes - the diapers and sippy cup stage... I remember how exhausting that stage is! Prayers for you, friend, as you Mama on! I think the biggest lesson I learned was that there is not one 'right' way to parent... there is no guarantee that if you do everything right - things will be easy... I think if we stop and think it through, we know this - but oh how we allow ourselves to forget! Grace and Love... that is the only 'right' way to go about this Call to Motherhood! Happy to be in the trenches with you... even if I am mile or two ahead!

  6. Just love your sweetness, Karrilee! This post made me smile with hope, as my oldest is now nearly a teenager (what??) Thanks for the encouragement today!

    1. Oh Sybil - I am praying for you! Those 'nearly teenager' years can be tricky - but they can also be really fun and enjoyable, so don't buy all the (negative) hype! I still have many seasons to go (Wedding... Grandbabies...!!!) but I can tell you for certain, when you choose Love - even in those hard seasons... even when your heart doesn't feel safe doing it... you will win in the end! Thanks so much for stopping by!


Thanks so much for stopping by! I always love to hear your thoughts! Remember to: Speak Life - Be Love - Shine On!

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