June 17, 2015

When Fear is No Longer the Boss of You... A Birthday Post.

I will be 45 this week.

This means that I may have already lived approximately half of my life. 

I mean, you know, not to sound dark or lamenting or anything...


That is not how it is.
It's not how I feel.

Age has never meant much to me. It's most often held me back. I rejoiced at thirty. ("Finally, I'm a grown up!")

But God has been whispering things like, "Second Act" and "Launching Season" and my, how He has us stepping up and stepping out and living into the beginning of Dreams Come True lately. I find strength in the sense of excitement that is bubbling over. I find hope in promises and prophecies yet unfulfilled - oh, but how they are unfolding!

It feels like (finally) "Next" is happening all around us...



We can attempt to live a safe life and it will keep us small and --really, there are no guarantees.  You can do all the things right, but life still comes at you.

I lived for nearly half of my days, thinking that I could live small and quiet... simple and free of heartache if I was just careful/good/smart (fill in your own blank) enough.  

I know... (Well, I know now!)

What I was was delusional.  I tried to stay small and blend in and fade out... to not attract attention or cause (too much) of a stir... 

Those Good Girl Days are over and more than Safe and Sound, I want Big and Loud!

I am quiet by nature and I suspect that won't change, but I want to find brave rising up more often!

I want to stay present in these moments and bring all of me to every day and this is the gift that I am giving myself this year: To be me, wherever I go!


When I allow myself to fully show up and to stay present, I am able to make the moment last... it slows just a little, weighted down with an authentic life lived out in the open.

It will mean a little less talking and more listening and hearing.

In real life, it will require less screen time and more eye to eye, heart to heart connecting.

It will take practice and intention and a bit of forgiving myself when I blow it! But I will get up and move on and keep trying, because

It is worth it! 

For when I remain aware and all in, I am able to taste and see... to savor the life that He has given me.

It enables me to offer my best self to the others in my life...
to share and live and celebrate... to weep and mourn and comfort...

I want to Live Big and Laugh Loudto Rejoice and Lament, to find Quiet in the Stillness and in the Midst of a Crowd.

He whispered of the importance of learning to maintain our Quiet and Peace in all of our circumstances... for when we hold on to that, we lean in to living a peace-filled louder life!

I have two friends heading to South Africa in a few months. One is local, and one is an online friend.  I feel only excitement for them.

Only excitement.
This is new.

It's amazing how three little words can change their meaning, depending on the spirit behind them!

"Anything can happen!" said in fear can open you up to all kinds of thoughts of what could go wrong... catastrophic possibilities abound.

But "Anything can happen!" when dripping in anticipation and adventure opens you up to all kinds of (better) expectations!

One keeps you Small,
the other makes way for Big!


We were made to Live Loud.. to Go Big!

I'm not saying that we are all called to cross land and sea,
--no, some of us are called to stay right here.

There is Holy both in the going and in the staying.

But let's agree to not play it safe quite so often this year, alrighty?

I'm not losing my mind. I've got no plans to jump out of an airplane or bungee jump off of a bridge... (not that there's anything wrong with that!)

(No, just breathe easy, Mama! It's fine!)

But what I AM saying is that when fear is no longer the boss of you, the world opens up and is less scary, more inviting, and you just may find Him leading you on a road less traveled... and that, --well, as Robert Frost said it, that just may make all the difference!

So, on this, the beginning of my forty fifth year, I have purposed in my heart to simply follow His lead, wherever that may go, and I will do it joyfully, loudly, wearing a bit of brave, walking right on in to this Second Act!

Join me, won't you?



Click to Tweet:
"...when fear is no longer the boss of you, the world opens up and is less scary, more inviting..." @KarrileeA #Fear #TellHisStory

"This is the gift that I am giving myself this year: To be me, wherever I go!" from When Fear is No Longer the Boss of You by @KarrileeA

I am linking up with these lovely ladies this week:

Jennifer Dukes Lee for #TellHisStory


Holley Gerth for #CoffeeforYourHeart


Karen Deschenes Courcy for #TuesdayatTen


28 comments :

  1. Loved this When I allow myself to fully show up and to stay present, I am able to make the moment last... it slows just a little, weighted down with an authentic life lived out in the open. Joining you from Coffee for Your Heart. Happy birthday (my 60th is in September!)

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    1. Thank you so much, Debbie! It was a great day! So grateful that you stopped by!

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  2. Happy Birthday to you!! "I have purposed in my heart to simply follow His lead, wherever that may go, and I will do it joyfully, loudly, wearing a bit of brave, walking right on in to this Second Act!" Yes - I will join you! I love this! Hope you enJOY your birthday celebrations!

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    1. Thank you, Michelle! So grateful that you are joining in -or jumping off - or whatever it is that we are doing! ;) Being Us, wherever we go!

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  3. "There is holy in both the staying and the going." So much yes! I was reading in Genesis last night and was reading about Abram and Lot. One of them stayed, one of them went. Fear really does have a way of stealing us of our joy but the truth is that we need to trust in Godly fear. (Didn't I just write about that last week?) I love that you want to live brave, my friend. Let's do it together since my #oneword365 for 2015 is "brave" too. Happy Birthday week friend! Love you!

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  4. What a great gift to yourself! Good for you and Happy Birthday! We are pretty much the same age and I feel very much the same as you! So let's go girlfriend...Let's Live Me and see all the things He will do through us! :) (Your near neighbor at #TellHisStory)

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    1. Amen! Thanks so much, Rachel! xoxo

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  5. Happiest Birthday to you! And I just love your attitude. Fear is all too often the *boss of me* - and I very much appreciated your "shift" on how to look at the idea that anything can happen! Really, a great perspective! Thanks for that.

    GOD BLESS!

    (45 is sooo young these day!)

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    1. Anything Can Happen... in all the best ways! Amen! (and yes, 45 feels young so far!) ;)

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  6. Happy birthday to you! I love this post. I feel the same way, your post really struck home with me. I too have tried to stay small and blend in and fade out. I was delusional right there with you! I agree to not play it safe this year. -Visiting you from #TellHisStory

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    1. Casey... amen, friend! Let's go all in and just watch and see what God will do!

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  7. This is a private place, right? The Lord keeps leading me to the word BRAVE - I do believe it's my 2016 word. You are 45, soon to be. Hm, I am 20 years your elder - I expect some respect!!!! LOL. Happy, blessed, WONDER-filled day to you, my "young" friend. xo

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    1. LOL! This is a safe place, my friend... private? Not so much... but safe, still! I love that you are already getting your word for next year!

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  8. Happy birthday! I am turning 35 this year and I have had a lot of similar thoughts, like what have I accomplished of eternal value? It's so easy to get lethargic and just let life slip by, thanks for the well-written reminder!

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    1. Thanks so much, Melissa! Let's remind each other to live all in and be brave and just see what God will do! xoxo

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  9. Karrilee, many blessings to you on your birthday...Heavenly Father, bless Karrilee and her sweet family indeed. Do something so big in her life that it will be obvious it s from You. Increase her influence and opportunities to make a difference for You. Give her a continual sense of Your presence and direction as she makes decision. Protect her and keep her from falling into satan's traps. In Jesus' name we pray,amen ❤️

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    1. Amen, and amen! Thanks so much, Beth!

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  10. Girlfriend, I just turned half-way to 98! I'm with you on the wanting to live loud (in a quiet way, of course, ;) ). It's crazy how letting go opens up so many more opportunities. Now, if I can just. peel. my. fingers. off. the. safety. line.

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    1. LOL... amen, my friend! Open hands, open heart! Let go and FLY!!!

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  11. I guess I am a younger mommy crazy blogger! I kept thinking,,,,if I can look just half as good as she does at that age, I'll be going great! Just sayin'! Enjoy your cake!

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    1. Aww... thanks Bethany! What a sweet thing to say! (and Mmmm - cake!)

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  12. Whee! I've been feeling the excitement this year as well. Happy Happy Birthday, Karrilee! I can't say I rejoiced at thirty, but thirty-one, I started to see a depth I'd not had before in my walk with God.
    It's so great to read about your stirring to rise up and be passionate! God is moving and He's raising up His armies and we are some of the warriors. It looks different for each of us, but am so glad you shared your words! (Lioness Arising by Lisa Bevere is a great read if you haven't already)
    -Tammy

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    1. LOVED that book by Lisa! Thanks so much, Tammy! It's just time, right? To be who we really are and find our voice and speak up! Warrior On!

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  13. Yes yes yes!!! Very well said...so many of your words hit home for me - on the brink of turning 64 this year!!! I have definitely lived MORE than half of my life span!!! Thank you for sharing your beautiful words with your Tuesday @ Ten friends...

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    1. Amen, Barbara! Thanks so much for stopping by! So glad the message resonated! I think there are many of us, rising up into who we are!

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  14. This is too funny. You had no idea that the FMF prompt would be fear. :)

    I like your words. I, too, try to blend in and fade out. Not rock the boat. Not take too many risks. But God has been showing me that He made me uniquely and He did so ON PURPOSE. There's a reason that, despite my best efforts, I genuinely often am different from those around me. He's been showing me that it's time to, as you say, be myself wherever I go!

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    1. I really didn't... and it gave me an excuse/reason to not write a new post today! ;) Don't you love knowing that He made you to be you... and no one else? It's such a relief! xoxo

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Thanks so much for stopping by! I always love to hear your thoughts! Remember to: Speak Life - Be Love - Shine On!
~Karrilee~

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