My #OneWord365 is Wonder...
I'm sure if you have hung out with me much around here, this is nothing new.
Here we are in the beginning of June and less than 6 months in, and I can tell you that Wonder keeps showing up in big ways and small... taking my breath away and causing me to lean in to more adventure.
Me... the shy, quiet, reserved one.
The wallflower-until-you-get-to-know-me one.
The better-safe-than-sorry, fear-of-success/-of-failure one.
It turns out when you step in to who you really are and begin to feel at home in your own skin, wonders are easier to spot and faith rises along with a bit of brave and oh my goodness, He shows up!
May was so full! I will write my beloved "What I Learned" post this week, reviewing all of the wonder that unfolded last month. But today I want to share a small/big wonder... a Playdate with God, if you will.
For years, I have felt the pull to create.
I did it professionally in many ways, but with a brush in hand and a blank canvas in front of me... this is new.
I have gone to services and watched conferences online with painters painting during worship and I have had an opportunity a couple of times to do this. It's a little (read: a lot) out of my comfort zone and yet I feel this draw to lean in anyway and worship in new forms. To offer Him whatever I have to bring... and because we are sort of in charge of how our services go now, we get to make space and room and plan things loosely, hoping He shows up and shows off, knowing all the while He loves it best when we jump in and join in and play with Him.
Tweet: "He loves it best when we jump in and join in and play with Him." @KarrileeA #smallwonders
So on Sunday as the guys were setting up and plugging in and getting ready for worship, I went early too and created a little corner to pray and paint and just see how God would show up.
Two things concerned me:
1.) Those nagging "You're not a real artist!" tauntings.
2.) I did not want to be a distraction. I did not want people watching me... (read: judging/critiquing me)
But I learned two other things, long ago:
1.) I AM a 'real' artist, because I was created in The Real Artists' image... and everything I do is art.
2.) I worship with all of me... no matter where I am - seated or standing, in church or at home... when I worship - it's all about Him and I will be respectful of my surroundings, but my worship being poured out --it's for HIM and not for anyone else really! I offer myself as a living sacrifice, and sometimes that includes dancing, or flagging, or standing still, or bowing down, or crying out, or quietly trembling, or... --you get the picture! It's all for Him.
So I pushed those two concerns aside, knowing the counterpart truths above and I entered in to worship.
I did not paint what I had considered... those paintings will come some day, but yesterday I painted what He showed me.
I worshiped and prayed...
I lifted my hands and my brushes...
I listened and heard...
I closed my eyes and I saw.
And from that, I painted...
And when the message was preached, well - having those paintings in the backdrop gave a visual every time the pastor spoke of waves or how we are called to step out - but we are not stepping out alone... we are, in fact, covered.
And when the service was over, small wonders continued to unfold as people shared how blessed they were... that I was in fact, not a distraction, and several shared what they saw in the paintings and how it spoke to them personally.
What a blessing to have a playdate with God that blesses both He and I, as well as others.
And isn't that just how it is when we play with God? We benefit. He benefits... and everyone around us gets splashed on as well!
P.S. I'm linking up with these lovely writers:
The Community over at #SmallWonders
The Community over at #GiveMeGrace
Laura Boggess for #ChasingTheBlueFlower
Holly Barrett for #TestimonyTuesday