This is the day that the Lord has made... sure - but it's also the day when Real Life hits us hard and reminds us that this New Year is here and unfolding already and we once again must (re)learn to juggle All The Things and pay attention to those Bossy Lists of Things To Do again!
For most of my adult life, this day - this Monday, has meant the glorious return of an empty house after the holidays and the vacations have all come and gone... the hubs and the girlie go back to work and school and I have quiet time... as in - pure, blissful silence. (This is the Monday that I was always oh so thankful for school teachers... bless it.)
While I am not in that season anymore, and I am
My calendar and day planner are already bossing me around today and I am filled with thoughts of nailing it on so many new fronts that I am tired before I ever let my feet hit the floor and stretch up tall to standing!
But it's the New Year and not even a week into it, so most of the goals set at midnight five days ago are still in front of me... I can still choose them. Let's be honest though... by the end of the week, some of the drive may be fading!
But today... on this day... in the quiet that feels tedious more than it does glorious, I press on and hit the gym first thing...
I run a few errands on the way back home (Check.) and then I sit here to write this (Check.) and facebook and email and instagram distract me and I feel like I am running late... my day is already off schedule...
It's January 5th, and I am already behind!
You too? Please tell me I am not alone...
With a brand new year, empty calendars, and clean slates - the New Year can hold so much hope. I find I cram in way too much to change at once. I set myself up to fail... to falter... to give in to fear and just back away from it all.
I entertain I-can't-do-it's and it's-too-hard's already!
Change is not quick... it is rarely fast and complete. The things that I want to change are slow going and take longevity and a longing for... I have to really want to want them in order to be willing to put the time and effort in to chasing after change.
So, do I? These things that I am already letting boss me around -do I really want to want them? Is this change that I am wanting... or change that I wish I wanted? Are these changes that I alone desire, or are they changes that He is longing for for me? These are important questions that I tend to forget to ask!
But this is where I must start, so I step slowly away from this screen, from all the screens... from all the masks and try-hard tactics, and I go and sit awhile with the One who knows me best... with the One who has a plan for me this year, this day and oh how He longs to tell me what the plan is. He longs to tell you, too!
He doesn't desire or delight in leaving us in the dark!
No... something about His Light has come --something about Thy Word is a Lamp unto my feet and I remember...
This. This is where I start... this is the change I want.
Before all the Bossy bosses me around, I want to sit with the One who made me and let Him bless me and call me Beloved. I need to hear His voice sing over me and feel His love wash me clean and pull me close. I need to fill up, to be mindful of His presence before I can be mindful of anything else.
Otherwise... otherwise I am going through motions, checking things off of my lists but never quite feeling like I am accomplishing enough!
No - I need to be reminded daily that I am enough... because He is enough. Sometimes I need to be reminded that He is enough, period.
As I sit with Him and breathe Him in, it takes just a moment to feel the tension ease up and the pressure dissipate.
Suddenly, I invite Him in and allow Him to prioritize my plans and reorder my day. Sometimes it will look drastically different than what I had envisioned, but sometimes it will look exactly the same. Some days I will find glorious quiet... and others, the silence feels like less of a gift.
But in all days, I will seek Him first and offer up my every day... asking Him to help me to number them alright.
So here I am, post-workout selfie style, offering you Grace, my friend!
Grace to ease back in to the Bossy and all the things that need your attention... I offer you a little Grace to return to routine, yes! But also this: let's not forget to make room for Rest... even (or especially) after the holidays are all wrapped up and put away.
Let's breathe in deep... ask Him to be present with us in all of our doing, so we can remember that it's not what we DO... it's who are ARE... and who we are, ...well, in Him - we are always enough!
Linking up with these lovely ladies:
Holly Barrett for #TestimonyTuesday
Kelly Balarie for #RaRaLinkUp