March 12, 2014

The Benefits of Laying Down One Love Idol at a Time


Jesus and I... we have this thing.  He's crazy about me... I mean, head over heels in love, and sometimes - even though I don't mean to - I play hard to get.

It's totally not on purpose... I mean - He's caught me - body and soul - and I ardently love Him. (Yes, Mr. Jesus trumps Mr. Darcy, every time!) It's just that sometimes my MIND is not completely His.  I give in and make room for Self-Doubt and Hesitation, which gives way to insecurities, excuses, comparing, and pride, and all of those things swell up big and take up some serious real estate in this heart of mine.

But, as part of The Love Idol Movement, I am giving up Self-Doubt for Lent because, well - why not? Well - it's only because He said to, and I must admit when He first suggested it, I laughed. Yeah, just call me Sarah.



I laughed right out loud when He said it because - how does one even DO that anyway? If I knew, wouldn't I have done it already? I'd like to think so.  Still... I decided to lay it down at His feet... leave it at the Cross. But here's the deal... whenever I tried to lay it down, I'd see His nail scarred hand pick it up and place the heavy burden right on His bruised and bloodied shoulders.  

Hmmm... I don't like that picture.  Not at all.

I much prefer the cleaned up version where it stays on the ground, covered by His blood... but to think of all my doubt pressing down on Him... that doesn't fit right.  Plus, you know, it makes it that much harder to go and pick it back up, right? I mean - as if I am going to go back there and ask for it! No... my habit is to be all sneaky like with God (I know... I know!)  I like to snatch it back when He's not looking and just deal with it myself... 

Yeah...

Even as I typed that out it felt wrong somehow...

So this is the truth I landed on when it comes to my entertaining Self-Doubt:

It will never satisfy.  It will never encourage or help me live my destiny.  It will never push me on to do great things, or - well - any thing.  It makes me lazy... ineffective... stuck.  And while I may not be oober confident and love everything about my fill-in-the-blank... (my body, my career, my parenting, etc.) there will always be room for improvements. I see now how quickly I can tear myself apart. It's almost as if I think if I do it first, if you do it, it won't hurt as much! 

But if when I kick Self-Doubt to the Curb, it frees me up to see things from His perspective and where I may see a flash of lack or something that I don't love, I see how I can partner with Him and make some positive changes, but mostly... I really don't see the lack as much.  When I lay down Self-Doubt, I make room for some God gifts like Joy, and Love, and Confidence that in Him, I can do - I don't know - all things?



So, last weekend I attended a Writers Conference.  To be honest, I didn't really go in to it with a lot of faith that Self-Doubt would leave me alone.  I mean - I was super excited to meet up with friends again and meet some for the first time in real life.  I felt confident in making those connections stronger and I was really anticipating hearing the keynote speakers and enjoying the worship.  I did all of that... and also tackled attending Breakout Sessions that were out of my comfort zone and sitting in on a Group Mentoring session and while there were plenty of opportunities for Self-Doubt and Hesitation to rise up and cause me to shrink back. I didn't do it. I didn't make room. I didn't bow down.

Instead, I leaned in... I spoke up... I laughed louder... I felt His - (I know... you sort of see it coming, right? But it's true!) I felt His approval!  I felt His love increase as I stood taller in who He created me to be. Taller... more 'me' - less hide-y.
It felt great!

The benefit of laying down one Love Idol at a time seems to feel like some sort of glorious Domino effect... once one gives way and falls at the feet of Jesus, the others are more likely to follow suit!

Even in looking back at the necessary snapshots from last weekend, I am not even fighting the temptation to tear myself apart - not because I am flawless... 





It's because I am stepping into the fullness of His acceptance. Can I invite you to step in too? What I have found in here? It's joy and grace and brave... it's freedom, and oh how He purchased that for every one of us already!

My name is Karrilee, and I am:

Preapproved                               



Linking up with Jennifer Dukes Lee for #TellHisStory

and linking up with Holley Gerth for #CoffeeforYourHeart


What about you? What have you laid down?  Are you willing to leave it there... are you willing to remind yourself when you want it back, whatever 'it' is... that it's better there at the Cross, on His shoulders, under the Blood? He paid the price and bought you back and now, in Him, you too are free... you too are preapproved.




22 comments :

  1. Karrilee, your post so reminds me of a She Reads Truth devotional (http://shereadstruth.com/2014/03/11/fasting-shame/) that I read the other day about shame. I love that you're laying down your self doubt, and it's a good reminder to me to examine my idols. Thanks!

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    1. Steph, thanks so much for stopping by! (Thanks for the link, too! I will go read it now!) Those sneaky Love Idols - they can slither right in unannounced and it is a great reminder for all of us to dig around a little now and then and see what has made itself at home in our hearts!

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  2. Wooohoooo! Praising God that you are seeing yourself in the beauty that is yours through Him! And you are so beautiful in so very many ways! Love you, friend!

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    1. My prayer? That this next generation of women coming up behind us will not wait until they hit their 40s to step in to who He says they are!!! Love you right back, friend!

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  3. None of our love idols will satisfy...not for long anyway. But oh how I've exchanged the temporary satisfaction for the greater, deeper, more meaningful gift that He wanted me to have to start with. Praying with you that we can let the love idols go - self doubt and all the others too!

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    1. Oh Holly - my friend... me too! I have exchanged the greater or the lesser, more temporary time and time again and (as my girlie says so often) I'm so over it! Laying these idols down with you! Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  4. Karrilee...grateful to be part of a breakout weekend for you. You exude such confident assurance of His love. Praise God for preapproval.

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    1. Lisha - isn't that just the thing? To exude confident assurance of HIS love... of Him in us... this is what makes us stand up taller into who we truly are! I can't get over the fact that I got to hug you in real life and put voice and rhythm to your lovely words! Praising God with you... for we are all preapproved in Him!

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  5. Love this movement- the LOVE IDOL where we say we are pre approved- it so amazing! Love every bit of this post!

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    1. Sweet Ashley... girl - you are going to LOVE this book! (I know, I know... look at me - shockingly endorsing a must read book...) but it's true! Love you so, my friend! Praying for you and your girlies (and your honey too!)

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  6. You are beautiful and brave ... and I love you BIG! Sharing on the LI Movement page! xo

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    1. Oh friend... I had the pleasure and joy of sharing last night in class... a combination of an excerpt of your words, and a few of mine written out here and oh how I love how God is using this and truly MOVING in the hearts of those who are willing to lay down these idols! Honored to be stepping into Beautiful and Brave right along with you! xoxo

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  7. Um, I love you. I just do. And I love, love, love your love story with Jesus. And I strive to be more like that, more like you. Open and honest and absolutely brave with Him.

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    1. Um - I love you right back! So so much! I can't even tell you how much I loved being able to meet in real life! Praying for you this week... as you process and plan ahead! (Maybe chat tonight - after all, it IS Thursday!)

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  8. Oh yes and more yes!! I truly have never looked at doubt like this and as painful as it is for me to see the reality of it, thank you. Thank you for being brave and writing because it has helped me to see what I do. I love you!!!

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    1. Jenn - it is huge, right? I mean - this revelation of how much it can stop us in our tracks and hold us back... I know for me - the Lord started speaking of the truth of it a few months ago but I didn't really have words for it. He asked me one day, "Why do you think all the people in the Bible were brave? Why do you assume that not one of them - other than Thomas, maybe Peter - dealt with Self-Doubt? They just learned to do it anyway!" So... that is what I am about doing... learning how to lay that down and do it anyway! I love you right back!

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  9. first off I "Love" the look of your blog. 2nd You crack me up and 3rd you are brave, truly brave. I can't comprehend your brave heart heading off to a conference and hanging with other amazing women. i could not go, only in my way off thoughts. You ROCK!!! You Conquered self-doubt, you gave it a run for its money and realized the amazing gift you are! You are pre approved, chosen and beautiful

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    1. First off - thank you! (and thank you, Traci Michelle!)
      2nd - Yay... I do love to laugh! It's my favorite!
      3rd - Girl... you are Brave too - you just don't know it yet! My prayer is that you will step in to who He has created you to be - and amazing and gifted and brave - those are just the beginning, my friend! You would totally fit right in... you qualify and remember, more importantly than all of that, you too are preapproved!

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  10. Good word. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  11. Praying that I learn brave and bold as you are! Kicking self-doubt to the curb and then some will be crucial to being bold and allowing God to fully do His work in me. Blessed by your words today!!!

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    1. Thanks so much for stopping by today! You can do this... lay it down, walk in to freedom! I am praying with you!

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Thanks so much for stopping by! I always love to hear your thoughts! Remember to: Speak Life - Be Love - Shine On!
~Karrilee~

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