I know... There are those days... those no good, horrible, very bad days. We all have 'em.
Sometimes - before the feet even hit the floor, you see them coming for you. Other times... well, other times it can seem like just any other day until -blindsided-, dumbstruck, knocked off center or off course with one (sucker) punch that just right out steals your breath away.
Whether today is one of those days for you (oh how I pray it's not) or you haven't had one for a long long time (I pray this is true) - I know you remember. You know how the thick fog just rolls right on in, and with it comes a blanket that lacks clear thinking. You can recall the heaviness that pulled down at you, threatening to take you under - if not under life - at least under covers.
Chances are good that you may be leaning in a bit closer, reading these words tapped out a little slower... looking for hope... grasping for light... after all, for each of us, a breakthrough is what is needed.
My first thoughts to this question were that we have already talked about what you most want to hear on those kinds of days. A couple of weeks ago, we talked about how You Are Loved... and last week, we talked about how You are Never Ever Ever Alone.
Two very good things - necessary truths, even- to remember when darkness rolls in and clouds your view.
However, if you are like me - and I am guessing that maybe you are, what you MOST want to hear is nothing actually SPOKEN anyway.
On my very bad days... I want to know that I am seen, that I am held, that I am understood, that I am heard - even in my silence!
Yes - on my dark days, I rarely need more noise... as lovely as it may be. Words are my love language, and I need them on all days - but on hard ones, I want to know through your silence, through your stroking the back of my hand, through your simply sitting beside me, through your knowing/seeing/loving look that can pierce straight through any fog, right into my soul.
I want to know that I am seen, when I feel invisible.
I want to feel held, when I am dizzy and it seems as if I'm free falling.
I want to know that I am understood... even when I am confused.
I want to know that I am heard, even if my words will not make sounds.
This is a tall request for just one person. This is why a tribe, a sisterhood, the Body at large is so vital. Even in them though - Who alone can reach in and make us feel seen/heard/understood - when everything within us tells us it's not true? When we are seeking these things... wanting to be seen/heard/understood - aren't we really saying - tell me what I'm worth! Remind me that I count... of who I am.
Last week, at the end of an ordinary day - not very bad or very good, really - I felt myself being pulled a bit down. I felt it - though there was no reason for it. I leaned in, and in leaning in, I found that what felt like darkness was actually a lot of 'working' on my part - it was a lot of 'going through the motions'... and I found myself crying out, "Lord, in all of our self-sufficiency, remind us that we are desperate for you!"
This... THIS is what we must remember and need most to hear on those Very Bad Days: That in all our self-sufficiency - both when we are doing it well, and when we feel like it is strangely out of our control - that we are - that we simply MUST BE - Desperate for Him!
I don't know about you, but I can forget. I can forget how I need Him and how He is all that I really need. When I am reminded of this truth, when I feel Him stirring up a desperate cry for more - I realize it is not more of this or that or the other thing - but it is a cry from the depths of my being for more of HIM! I want to remember that I am desperate for Him.
It's not that we don't need someone to comfort us and tell us nice things. Someone with flesh and blood who can stand in and represent Him for us. Of course this is nice and it does help. But what we most need to hear on very bad days - and good days alike - is that He can be trusted... that He alone holds our futures in His hands and He always sees, always hears, always understands... and as much as we need to hear these things... we need to KNOW that these things are true of Him and Him alone.
For when we truly KNOW this... when we are reminded of our need for Him... when we are willing and able to see a little more clearly that it's not about us, but it's always been about Him, then the fog begins to lift and the sun breaks through the clouds...
For when we remember Him - well, we remember His words to us, His promises... His songs sung over us... and my prayer is that we remember this:
"Relax, everything’s going to be all right; rest, everything’s coming together; open your hearts, love is on the way!" ~ Jude 1:2 (The Message)And this? This is all we really need to know!
Relax, sweet sister... on a good day and on a very bad day too...
Relax, everything's gonna be alright!
Rest, it's all coming together - in His time, for your good.
Open your hearts, my friend... for Love is on the way!
Linking up and sharing a cup of coffee with Holley Gerth
and with Jennifer Dukes Lee for #TellHisStory