May 20, 2015

On Friendships... How They Hold Us and How They Can Heal...

I woke up this morning praying for y'all! 

Not that this is an unusual thing, but if you are reading this right now, you can rest assured that you were prayed for this morning!

I asked God what He wanted me to write about today and He answered softly, but quickly.
I want you to write about Friendship... how it holds and how it can heal... 

And so clearly, I did the dishes and started a load of laundry and took some Buzzfeed quizzes and a personality test* or two and did all kinds of things instead of writing because, of course. *I'm an ISFJ, for the record!

Here's the deal: I am blessed.

My 'normal' is not everyones' 'normal'...
I get that. Honestly, I do.

I am hard-wired for friendship. (I suspect that we are all, really!) And yet... 

I have, from a very very young age, placed a high value on people... on relationships... on investing. It's in my DNA.  I have always thought that love can bring us together. (I know... but, you guys, I couldn't help myself...)

How cute are these?

I believe with all of my being that words matter... 
--that they can be encouraging and give life and be empowering, 
or they can strip down, cut off, wound deep... 

We must choose them wisely, and with care.

I am an All-In friend... but I have had to learn boundaries 
and I have had to learn how to be a friend
to myself, to my family, to my God...
in addition to being (or before I can be) a friend to others.

I remember years ago, someone praying over me and he prophesied that I would experience the supernatural flow of the Love of God pouring out through me wherever I went.

I feel that now.

He also said to be careful, because some would be drawn in and would do all the taking.

While I know the wisdom in the warning, I also know that loving people will hurt...
but we love them anyway.

Set boundaries, yes. 
Stay healthy, of course. 
But Choose Love, nonetheless.

Yes, we risk when we choose love, because people-- they will wound. They will fight. They will exalt you, only to tear you down. They will bleed you dry.

Just ask Jesus.
He knows this firsthand and yet, He loves... 
Oh how He loves!

He loves us still - He loves us anyway...

...and aren't you glad?  

Yes, loving people is hard and messy, 
but it is also easy and glorious.

Thanks to facebook and all kinds of social media,
I have friends from all over the world,
-- some are reconnected from childhood,
  -- some not yet met face to face,
    -- some are every day, let's go for a walk or grab a cup of coffee friends,
and some are plan ahead, road trip required, steal away a weekend friends.

I am blessed.

I have many friends... kindred hearts... sister-friends and brothers, fathers...

I have written it many times - how God changed my bent from fear to faith... from pessimism to positivity.

While I am not oblivious, I do tend to look at the sunny side,
to focus on the good, to look for the Light.

I believe Him when He says, "Seek and ye shall Find."
And so I seek that which I am longing to behold...

But in all my lovey, friendly, encouragey ways, the enemy can whisper lies of how I am surface... how I am Polly-Anna-ish... of how I am too light or too shallow.

I'm not. I know this... but if I'm not mindful, I can begin to despise the way He made me. I can compare and compete and strive to be different... to not be who He made me to be.

Angie Smith said it this way at the If:Gathering. She said,  
"I stopped valuing the gifts God had given me because they didn't look like the gifts of the people that I valued."
He asked her, "Ang, who told you cheerleading wasn't important?"

Even as I type that, I fight sarcasm and think of the cheesy "I'm a People Person. I just love people!" mantra.

But it's true... it's who I am and how He made me. Now I am not saying that I am nailing this
...all day, every day.

Enter Daysprings new Friendship on Purpose Collection  & my implied 'cup problem' continues... Oh My!

But I am saying that I have learned to be intentional and in tune. I have learned that some friendships experience an ebb and flow. I have some friends who I talk with almost every day, and some with whom I would love to talk with more often but life is busy, and seasons come and go...

Don't you just want to sip something from this with a friend?

Still... Friendships are His idea.

Friendships and Family... Community, as a whole.
He is our example in each of them.

I believe our culture is so busy... so over-scheduled...  We get caught up in this technological, gadgety wifi world, and yet we are disconnected in more ways than one yet we are longing for connections! 

Friendships can hold us... and they can heal us... but we must be intentional with them.  We must carve out an hour and make a call or pencil in a coffee date or a walk... a movie or lunch. 

Invest your time, your heart, your life... 

The Bible tells us that a man who has friends must himself be friendly...

Can I encourage you to be friendly... to invite and invest... to open you heart and your home... to taste and see that the Lord is good, and that oh so often, He is good to us
THROUGH friendships!

P.S.  I'm linking up with these lovely writers:

Karen Deschenes Courcy for #TuesdayatTen

Jennifer Dukes Lee for #TellHisStory

Holley Gerth for #CoffeeforYourHeart

* I am a Dayspring Affiliate, which simply means if you click through to Dayspring here, you pay the same price, but I am able to make a little money (you know, to help support my "cup problem"!) If you, like me, have a 'cup problem' - check out this new Friendship Line at Dayspring... 
Friendship on Purpose Collection

Who can you call and make a date with? What friend has been on your heart? Who can you send a card or text to? Reach out... you'll be so glad that you did!


  1. 'Friendships hold us and heal us' - beautiful thoughts. I so appreciate your description of your hardwiring/DNA drive as a people person, you are being the image bearer you were made to be. Joy, being you per God's design (can't beat that plan!) Joining you from CoffeeForMyHeart. Blessings..

    1. Thanks so much for stopping by Sandra! Have a blessed weekend!

  2. Gah, my friend! All of THIS!!! And thank you tor praying because in reading that first paragraph, I know you did indeed pray for me this morning. So thankful for all the wonderful friends in my life including you. I adore you so friend!!!

    1. You know I feel the same way... and I, too, am so thankful for these kindred friendships that deepen across the interwebs!

  3. "Friendships can hold us... and they can heal us... but we must be intentional with them." <----- I am so thankful for the friendships He has blessed me with. Having friends near and far has me thinking of new ways to reach out and stay in touch but I am still not as good at it as I need to be.

    Love you my dear friend. Thank you for teaching me more and more about what is it to be a friend.

    1. We are all in process... and I think it's also important to remember that seasons come and go and our boundaries shift! I always envision the circles - the innermost having just room for one (or One!) and then slowly expanding outward! To move someone in closer, requires moving someone else further... so we must remember grace in our own boundaries and in that of others! I think we all look to Jesus and learn more every day how to be a better friend! You - dear one, are good to me and I am oh so very thankful for how He has joined us!

  4. We really have to be intentional if we want to keep our friendships close. All of my friends are busy with life's demands. We just have to set up dates. It's so worth it!

    1. It's so true, Debbie! Especially in our overscheduled world... but it is always always worth the investment! Amen! Thanks for stopping by!

  5. So much goodness in this post!! I need a second cup to drink it all in! You are so right friendships are definitely an investment but oh the fruit they yes in just the right times is overwhelming beautiful and makes it all worth it! Thank you for praying for us and sharing how they hold us and heal us, we are better together!!

    1. Thanks so much for stopping by and hanging out and 'getting' me so well! He is good... and we learn from Him! (And I always vote for a second cup!) ;)

  6. I have a lot of friends - BUT, only a few whose friendship is nurtured and coddled. Hope that makes sense. BTW, I am an ISTJ so I think a little more than you feel. LOL!!!!

    1. Oh yes... I get that! And Thinking a little more than Feeling... most days, my response would be, "Lucky!" ;) You know I love you, girlie! So thankful for how He has brought us together!

  7. Having only known you online... I can still tell that this is true. Very Very True. I remember at Allume last year that the emphasis was on hospitality, and some of the speakers spoke on being hospitable online. I didn't really leave with a sense of what that looked like. Then I met you. What a lovely picture you are of hospitable friendship in this virtual world.

    1. Wow... what a lovely and kind thing to say, Wendy! I hated to miss Allume - especially when I heard the theme last year! I have heard of the hard places and the cruelty online and I try both here in the virtual world, as well as inrl in my home, to create an atmosphere of welcome and grace! Thanks so much for stopping by and chiming in, my friend!

  8. Karrilee I loved what you wrote, and although I only know you online, what you shared on my birthday made me a believer that we are kindred spirits. I give as the Lord calls me to give. I sense that is what you do also. I think of a friendship that we all deserve and that is the friendship of a David and Jonathan. Thanks for your post, it was lovely and thoughtful and inspiring. Blessings, My friend. we will be in eternity together.

    1. Oh how I LOVE Jonathan and David! And the fact that whether we ever get to meet here in earth - we are friends in eternity together! Love that! Thanks so much for stopping by! xoxo


Thanks so much for stopping by! I always love to hear your thoughts! Remember to: Speak Life - Be Love - Shine On!

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