The Wisdom of Self Care... or Knowing When To Take A Break! (A Five Minute Friday post)

I had a full day planned yesterday...that ended with an afternoon of crafting downstairs in my lovely basement! Now that our Family Room is all cozy and creative, I rarely want to leave it so I opened my laptop and tried to multi-task with papercrafting, netflixing, and #fmfparty-ing... all because I have learned the wisdom and value of Self-Care and knowing when to take a little Breaky!

{I can't say it enough, really - I love my tribe! The Gathering that happens on Twitter on Thursday nights and then flashmob writes out their hearts and hits publish all over the interwebs on Thursday and Friday (and sometimes on Tuesdays!) But, I know... I'm like a broken record here, stuck on repeat! However today I am thinking of a different community. Let's just get started.}

This is Five Minute Friday and our Word Prompt for the day is: BREAK

{GO}

Yesterday my calendar was full with all kinds of Bossy - but it's the kind of bossy that I have learned to pencil in, to plan for, and to protect! It still counts! (Things like in addition to a couple of errands: a walk with a friend, a stroll around the Arboretum with a camera in hand, some crafting time, Voxing friends, etc.  --and by 'etc.' clearly I mean indulge in a little chocolate!)

Earlier this week, I wrote about the three things that God whispered to me that will help us all to better learn our true identity.  You can read that HERE, but today I want to focus on the second thing, because I think it is so crucial and yet so neglected.  

It is the importance of Self Care.

Self care can be defined as taking intentional actions to care for your physical, mental and emotional health and well being.  We so often tend to focus on caring for others, and push ourselves further and further down on our list of priorities!  If you have ever watched an episode or season of The Biggest Loser, most often - neglecting self care is what landed them there, and whether or not we have a weight problem, I think we all battle the weighty problem of lacking self care.

I realize that I am now writing this as an Empty Nester, so those of you still in the thick of the crazy and chaos and glorious Bossy of taking care of a house full --well, you may think this is just something to focus on later... when you can sleep in, get dressed by yourself, or -for the love- be in the bathroom alone!  

It IS dreamy, I'm not gonna lie! 

But it is so vitally important that you carve out time to start paying attention to taking care of yourself now - in whatever season you are in - so that you will be more able to be present in more of your life, through out your life!

When I had my girlie, almost immediately my mother in law offered to take her to give me a break. As in - every Tuesday... like clock work.  In the beginning I said "No thanks!"  I was all, why would I not want to spend every second with her? And I did... she was a joy and actually (#sorrynotsorry) a happy baby who slept well and played well and rarely pushed my nerves... until that season was over and once again, my MIL graciously said the offer stood and while she was still finishing that sentence, I was packing a bag and handing her over, making all kinds of plans for my Tuesday afternoons! 

I think at first, I slept... maybe showered and did laundry.  Eventually I remember that this time was a gift and I needed to do less chores and pay more attention to what I could do that would fill me up and refresh me.  Sure, grocery shopping alone was divine... but I wanted to DO something that would help me remember me!

Through the years, I have had many hobbies and interests and passions.  My MIL kept my girlie every Tuesday afternoon until halfway through elementary school, when sports and practices on Tuesdays entered the picture. But I am oh so thankful for those few hours each week early on that she gave me.  

It helped me to remember that I was more than someones' mom... someones' wife... 

I learned to pay attention to the activities and opportunities that fed me and filled me up... as well as to the ones that drained me and -let's be honest - bled me dry.  

I wanted more of the former, and less of the latter, obviously.

The importance of Self-Care is right up there with sleep and healthy eating and prayer and, you know... showering! It's more than just cleaning up and showing up - it is investing in yourself so that you have a better, more fully you to present! It makes you a better you - yes, and in turn, that makes you a better Mama and wife and friend!

Our over-scheduled, chaotic, fast-paced culture doesn't always allow for self-care and especially within the church, it can feel selfish and wrong. We are supposed to always be giving out and serving and going, going, going... except that without self care - we do all of those things half-heartedly, in a dazed exhaustion, with little passion left in us. I am not advocating selfishness.  This is different.

We let our calendars boss us around and before our heads hit the pillow, we are already spinning our thoughts around all the running that tomorrow holds!  (There is a verse for that... Matthew 6:34)

Can I tell you that there is a better way to take a break than to hit the wall.  

Sometimes, we need a little breaky to slow. the. things. down. already!

Time is spinning and we get dizzy* and we forget that, as Ann Voskamp told us, slowing time is as simple as counting gifts and being fully present!

Can I encourage you to Just. Breathe.

Slow down for a moment and think back to the last thing that you did for you, that filled you up and refreshed you... that made you feel, you know - human again!

If it is hard to remember - you are overdue, my friend!

It's true, I am in a dreamy season where it seems I can fill my day planner with all sorts of glorious bossy like I did yesterday... but don't wait!  You may not have a MIL close by, or you may not be in a place where you feel like you have any 'extra' time.  

Self Care doesn't have to be time consuming.

It can take just a few moments to focus in and check in with yourself.  Oh - it can take an afternoon  -or weekend, if you can manage it! But it doesn't have to! 

{STOP}

Once again, the asterisk is where my Five Minutes were up - but this is so important... As I mentioned, maybe you don't have family close by who can commit to an hour or two a week, or you work full time and taking any extra time away feels impossible! You can give yourself a little self-care once the littles are in bed... you can take a more scenic route on the way home and drink in the Spring around you... you can ask for help --I know, but it's true! Ask your husband, a friend, see if there is someone from church who you could pay to sit for an hour so you can simply go for a walk and breathe.  

I think our biggest hurdle to self-care is that it feels selfish and we don't stop to consider that we are worth it! When we are filled up and refreshed, we offer our best selves! 

You know the saying, Happy Wife, Happy Life?  Or how about, If Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't No One Happy?
Yeah. That.

 A little self-care goes a long way!

So what kinds of things do you do to practice Self-Care? (I go for a walk... I take photographs... I make coffee dates with friends... I read, journal, create, (and Netflix!)  

If it helps you to rest and refresh, it is Self-Care --and it is vital to your health!

I love the #fmfparty Community that gathers on Twitter and all across the Internet on Thursday nights and on Fridays... on into the next week, where we encourage and uplift... where we share prayer requests and praise reports... where we talk food and friends and we find support and kindred hearts and we are reminded that life is good and God is good and we are not alone... and then we all write for five minutes flat, a flash mob of wordsmiths letting our hearts and our fingers do the talking tapping and we hit publish before we can second guess... we just let Him flow!   Five Minute Fridays gives us the chance to dive right in and share what He puts on our hearts! Click here to read what others have to say about "BREAK"


Oh ...the fine print: if you don't know what FMF is!  Five Minute Fridays have been hosted by Lisa Jo Baker.  This week we start gathering over at Kate Motaung's.  FMF is open to anyone, so to learn more about it - and to jump in yourself (the more the merrier!) or just to find a linky to see what everyone is writing about today - click HERE!  The idea is to simply write... for Five Minutes flat... no editing, no deep thinking - or at least REthinking, no spell check - just write! Let it flow! We all write using a prompt that Lisa posts at 10pm Thursday night (EST.)  I'm loving the community of amazing bloggers and the creativity that flows from these magical Five Minutes!