(Reposting today... reflecting... and remembering this prayer...)
It was a glorious Fall day...
a gorgeous afternoon for a walk...
Brisk cool air... sun shining... blue skies...
my mind pondering on the season I am in.
I know I wrote a lot about my Beloved Autumn last month,
and much of what I love about Fall is all of the change.
It's ironic, really - that I am just now
(yes - just now... in my 40's)
beginning to not only embrace Change,
but to see it as something exciting and adventurous;
as something not to be kicked against and fought,
but to be expected and hopeful in!
The season in life that I find myself in is a letting go kind of season. My beloved daughter - my very heart beating on the outside of me... the very best thing that I have ever done -
is preparing to graduate high school and spread her wings and fly!
She is amazing...
I mean - Ah. MAY. Zing!
The sky is the limit for her!
She is a joy and a treasure!
So we begin (or continue, really) the Letting Go,
in order to not Tear Away,
and it is in the quiet moments in between college apps and scholarship essays that I wonder... that I pray... that I hope...
"Surely in all these years, Lord
we have left an impression...
we have lived a life out loud in front of her
that she will long for and lean in to
and choose on her own, with passion."
As I walk, I whisper this prayer beneath my breath,
and I pass by these...
My eye catches...
my heart beats faster...
my breathing slows ever so slightly...
What kind of mark will be left on her that we are completely unaware of leaving behind? For wherever she is... wherever she goes, she takes a piece of us with her and my heart longs to be reassured that the impression on her heart is the same on ours... that when people look to her, they don't see US
as much as they see HIM!
She has watched us grow,
as we measured her getting taller.
She has experienced us live and love
fumble and fall, grow in grace,
and learn about honor.
She has watched us
be happy but feel sad
be hurt and choose forgiveness
be offended, and let it fester...
only to (finally) lay it down
and decide to NOT choose bitterness.
She has watched us
open our home and our hearts
push aside differences and work through hard times.
She has heard us pray, and cry, and laugh,
and sing with everything within us His praises
She has watched us succeed,
and she has seen us fail...
her... ourselves... others...
She has seen us
- our faith disrupted, but not detoured.
She has never seen or heard or watched us
even once turn our back
on her... on each other... on Him.
We have raised her on purpose in many ways,
dreamed dreams with her... for her...
some our own, some were born in her...
We have seen some come to pass,
some be laid down to die,
some resurrected in hope...
we are sowing into her
a life of Love ...of BEING Love,
of offering Grace and Mercy...
of seeing the unseen
and expecting the unexpected
We are determined to leave her
a Legacy of Love
"on earth, as it is in Heaven."
But as I pass by these leaves,
fallen - let go of at the roots on through to the tips...
wind blown, rained upon, and trampled...
and I see the life in them...
the impression left behind...
I realize much of what is imparted is done
not so much on Purpose,
but in the Persistent...
the daily living out of our lives.
I pray that what lies beneath the surface of her
is more than mere shadows of what she has seen in us,
but the very remnant of a life lived well,
giving glory to God with every breath...
the very impression of the One who loves her
best and most and the longest!
May His image transfer through us to those around us...
and to those who came from within us!
May our persistent pursuit of Him
and of living a life of Love
be what leaves the deepest impression
on those who are coming up after us!
So in this season of change...
of excitement and trepidation,
of trusting and hoping...
we lean in... lean ON...
& trust that wherever
- whenever - we fall short...
His HUGEness makes us taller
and the impression we have left
is one that strengthens and empowers!
As I walk on,
my prayer continues under my breath,
and from the top of my lungs,
"May He shine through her...
When she walks out of a room,
may His impression linger after her."
Let that be said of me too, Lord!
and us and you!
I am reposting this today - and praying it anew...
linking up with lol-ly-gag.com and her Story Line Community: