...not as in 'I did it my way' but more as in a "breaking your own heart" sort of way!
So when the light hit just right, and I had inched forward just a enough to glance back and see where I had been parked for way too long - all the reminders and gentle words began to flood my memory and I saw clearly... it's been me! I am the one who has been in the way! I have been standing still waiting... when I had been given the next step years ago! No coincidence whatsoever, my 'Word' for the year is Releasing and so with this revelation, comes the on purpose releasing of regret and disappointment in myself! And with that letting go - I once again find forward motion and a renewed focus!
As I mentioned in my last post, I recently stumbled upon Michelle Perry and her blog series (The Inspired Life) One of the Session activities was to draw/sketch/paint what it looks or feels like to be Blocked (creatively speaking - in context anyway!)
and then you were told to destroy that... bring it to Jesus and give it to Him. Next - create a painting showing what it feels like to be UNblocked, using some of the pieces from your previous artwork.
Then... write about a "heaven spot" and create something from your journaling.
It was towards the end of playing with this session that it hit me... God told me to do this years ago and I put Him off. I assumed I either misunderstood Him, or He surely meant something else, or it would require years of training and to be honest - I just really didn't WANT to do it! And yet here I am, years later, playing - literally PLAYING - with what He told me to do that I was too intimidated to even try in the beginning!
I am finding when I feel stuck - or hesitant... when my path feels dangerous, treacherous, or blocked... I simply need to step back into His perspective rather than my own! His is always truer than mine anyway!
I pray that if you are standing in your own way... these words will take root in your heart and you will feel Him gently pull you to His side, and cause you to see things from His perspective! He can make your path clear... sometimes it's our own shadows that we see and we assume there is something outside of us that needs to change when all the while it is a shifting on the Inside that is whispering for our attention! Lean on Him... I love how the Amplified Bible reads...
"Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
Lean in... open your eyes... see where He wants to take you! Once you have His perspective... no obstacle can really stop you!
It's blue skies... nothin' but blue skies...