November 18, 2017

When Excuses Fade Away and Truth Takes Over... a Five Minute Friday post.

Just a few more weeks before I can officially rejoin the Five Minute Friday Community of Flash Mob Writers who love to party it up over on the Twitter on Thursday nights! Until then, I'll just play along here and over at the Link Up!  Let's go: This is a Five Minute Friday post, which simply means I set a timer and free write for five minutes flat on the one word prompt of: EXCUSE

{GO}

I see the word, and I know what it means...
but I hope I can uncover something different
because, ...you know, ...excuses!


Gah! My mind goes immediately to exactly where I do not want it to go.

Avoidance and excuses are not Kingdom ways... 
And I want my life to reveal Kingdom in every area. 

Conflict is not my favorite and as I wrote last week,
we are a people of Peace.  

However,
Peace will not reside in the midst
of denial and excuses.  

...Oh but the enemy will.  

The enemy will reside right in the midst of those things
and make himself super cozy and at home there.


If you, like me, have been avoiding doing hard things...
let me assure you --there is healing and freedom
simply in the laying down of excuses, 
even before you bridge the gap
and get to the other side. 
Forward motion toward hard things
can give you a little more room to breathe.

We all have or --(#sorrynotsorry)-- 
will have strained relationships.  
It could be with a spouse, a parent or sibling,
or another family member, a child, or friend... 
we can be 'right' - and still give in to excuses
that will not repair the damage.

One of the definitions of excuse is
'to grant exemption or release'
and it hit me, this avoidance is
locking us up in ways I hadn't realized!
As excuses began to fade, 
Truth rose up and this is what He said:

Forgiveness and Reconciliation
are not the same thing!



My mature response was something like, Rats!

Because over the years I have learned that
Forgiveness is not a Feeling.
It is a choice



And we had chosen to forgive a long time ago,
but we hadn't yet begun that hard work of Reconciliation

And because of that, we had to keep choosing
to forgive rather than finishing the circle
unto restoration!

If y'all know me... you know Imma about to drop some definitions... 

Here we go:
Forgive:  to give up resentment of or claim to requital (to compensate or retaliate.)
Reconcile:  to restore to friendship or harmony, to settle, resolve or make consistent
Well, dang...

As Christians we are called to forgive, right?
I believe we are also called to reconciliation,
whenever possible. (Something about Romans 12:18...)

I think so often we think they are the same. thing.
But they are not.

Neither one of them are necessarily easy-peasy.  
But Forgiveness we know brings US freedom... 
and once we learn (and re-learn!)
it is not an emotion but a choice... 
once we remember the call to become unoffendable... 
forgiveness can become something you
offer up freely and (eventually) without much of a fuss.

Reconciliation, however, --that is deeper... 
That requires more. 
We can't do that one on our own.
It's not enough that we do not want
retaliation or compensation... 
What we should long for is harmony,
is friendship, is consistency in our connection. 


Listen, miscommunication gone uncleared...
unrepented-of, un-dealt-with...
it twists and turns and pollutes the truth
and it creates wide open spaces of hospitality
for the enemy of our souls to come in
and make broad, dramatic statements
in a shouty, urgent voice. 
He is so gifted at doing this, 
they can feel like truth.

Most often, they are NOT Truth...
Oh, but they can feel like it.

{STOP}

I know I am out of time, 
but I want to share a quick encounter
I had with the Lord
while at a conference recently.  
Stay with me... 
I really think this is important.

During worship, (whether in the spirit or out of the spirit... you get the idea)
I saw Jesus standing in front of me
and He leaned in close and said,
"I'm going to show you your heart." 

He reached right in to my chest and pulled it out.
He stood there, holding this heart --my heart--
and it was a bit beat up...
wounded and scarred in places.
But along every break and bruise,
like glue holding it all together,
was gold. 

It made me think of the Japanese art of Kintsugi.

Jesus then said, "Because of the brokenness,
it is more valuable!"



Holding my heart, He said,
"You're going to have to trust Me with it."
and then He immediately turned and
put it in the hands of someone
I was not trusting my heart with.

(Ouch... and Selah!)

Here's the thing... 
If all I was after was Forgiveness,
I'd have said no thanks.  
I'd have taken my heart back and
asked Him to just move along now.
I had already chosen forgiveness.

But because I am after Reconciliation,
(and because He is asking me to), 
I have to choose to trust Him, again and again. 
I have to be willing to, yet again, say yes!
It can feel risky, but the pay off is
a restored and healed relationship
--a friendship consistent in harmony,
and who doesn't want that, right?



P.S. As God was showing me this... this is the song that broke out in worship
literally right in front of me:


                                                                               Steffany Gretzinger, You Have My Yes

Linking up with Kate Motaung and the #fmfparty Community today.  Five Minute Fridays gives us the chance to dive right in and share what He puts on our hearts! Click HERE to read what others have to say about: "EXCUSE"
The FMF lowdown: The gathering happens on Twitter on Thursday nights & then we write our hearts out & hit publish all over the interwebs on Thursday & Friday (& sometimes on Tuesdays!) It's where we encourage & uplift... where we share prayer requests & praise reports... where we talk food & friends & we find support & kindred hearts. It's where we are reminded that life is good & God is good & we're not alone... & then we all write for five minutes flat, a flash mob of wordsmiths letting our hearts & our fingers do the talking tapping & we hit publish before we can second guess it all away. We'd love to have you join us!

I'm also linking up with the lovely writer communities linked below:










Kelly Balarie for #RaRaLinkUp


Lori Schumaker for #MomentsofHope










Barbie Swihart for #Glimpsesofhisbeauty
















Jennifer Dukes Lee for #TellHisStory












A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, THE LORD SPOKE TO ME AND THROUGH ME REGARDING SABBATH REST AND I TURNED MY 31 DAYS SERIES INTO AN EBOOK ON AMAZON.  IF YOU ARE FINDING YOURSELF IN NEED OF REST (WHICH --WHO ISN'T, REALLY?) CHECK OUT THIS SHORT, DAILY DEVOTIONAL  31 DAYS OF RESTING IN GOD ...IT'S EASIER/HARDER THAN YOU THINK!  

YOU CAN PURCHASE IT BY CLICKING HERE OR GRABBING IT FROM THE SIDE BAR TO THE RIGHT IF REST IS SOMETHING YOU KNOW YOU NEED, BUT JUST KEEP PUTTING OFF! 


13 comments :

  1. Forgiveness is hard. It's something I've struggled with over the last decade. Let us pray for each other.

    ---your Facebook FMF neighbor :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen, Jim! Two books that have made this (at least the forgiveness part) easier for me are Unoffendable by Brant Hansen and an older book called Love, Acceptance, and Forgiveness by Jerry Cook and Stanley Baldwin. I highly recommend them both!

      Praying for you! Thanks so much for stopping by!

      Delete
  2. We are Christ's living kintsugi!

    ReplyDelete
  3. "What we should long for is harmony, is friendship, is consistency in our connection."

    Mmmmm. I think that, sometimes, I do long for this, but I'm afraid I won't get it, so I keep the walls up. I keep chewing on the old hurts, because if the old hurts are still fresh, then new ones can't blindside me.

    Going to be thinking on this one for awhile.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right? It feels easier to choose to forgive over and over, rather than to do the hard work of WITH... of Reconciliation, where we actually talk about the hurts that caused us to have to choose to forgive in the first place. It feels easier... but in the long run, it's not.

      Harmony... Friendship... Consistency. These will become my new mantra when I, too, find myself chewing on old hurts!

      xoxo

      Delete
  4. I am so thankful that we can trust our hearts with Jesus. He does know what He's doing, even when it makes no sense to me. And when I have given my heart over to Him? Well,His heart of forgiveness has taken me to places I wouldn't have gone on my own! Blessings to you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He alone is trustworthy with our whole hearts... even the busted up and bruised parts! Thanks so much for stopping by, Bettie!

      Delete
  5. Lots of food for thought here. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Love this karrilee. Indeed yes, forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same.

    For me, forgiveness is one-sided...I can forgive those who would still try to destroy me.

    Reconciliation takes two. A bit harder to arrange, that.

    #1 at FMF this week.

    https://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2017/11/your-dying-spouse-406-precious.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh brother, it does my heart good to see you here! You are so right ... forgiveness is up to me... reconciliation is up to us.

      Delete
  7. I shared but I need to re-read!!! Excuses, right?

    ReplyDelete

Thanks so much for stopping by! I always love to hear your thoughts! Remember to: Speak Life - Be Love - Shine On!
~Karrilee~

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