October 16, 2015

31 Days of Truths... The Bitter Fruit of Jealousy (aka: Green -a Five Minute Friday post) DAY SIXTEEN

My Honey left the house early this morning to go to a Men's meeting before work, and then went straight from work to a volunteer opportunity tonight.  He always kisses me goodbye in the morning and prays over me and I rarely go back to sleep... so all of that simply means this: I have been up since 6am, all alone, in this empty quiet house for most of the day!

All of that simply means this: I was so ready to party with my tribe over on Twitter (and yes, on Periscope... and yes, I did re-download it but honestly - I am clueless, y'all!  Help a sister out!) and then Kate went and threw us a curve ball for a Prompt and here we are...

This is Five Minute Friday (- a five minute timed free write) and our One Word Prompt for the day is: GREEN  (Yes... Green?)


Really? Green?  

Well - this is a Truth we all know and seldom forget:

Being Green with Jealousy
will trip you up & slow you down.
It will steal your peace & rob your joy if you let it!
It never ends well or brings a harvest
of anything good...
it's just that Sometimes We Forget

I'm not saying that I don't have my battles with Jealousy.

I am normal... or at least human. I'm a woman, after all - and jealousy rises up in us all every once in awhile, right? But I think we often disguise Jealousy and package it up as something else. 

I remember back when I was plagued with low self-esteem and a lack of confidence.  The Lord told me I was full of pride. (I actually argued with Him on that one... thus, proving His point! sigh!)

Jealousy often masquerades itself as Drive or Ambition.  It can put on a mask and put on a show and under the surface, something evil this way comes, bubbling up and what may have started as 'innocent' competition or 'healthy' comparisons gives way to something deeper and darker.

We have the choice on whether or not we will entertain it.

Tonight, for instance, our twitter party was a little less chatty because many of our regulars are in Greenville, SC attending Allume.  Y'all may remember my love/hate relationship with Allume.  I went a few years ago and would love to will go back one day... I loved the conference, but hated the insecurities and battles that rose up in me back then. I thought I knew who I was... but pride falls hard and jealousy rises quickly.

Since then, I have attended several conferences and retreats. Many of them, I have arrived all alone with no one to sit with and no planned meet-ups pre-arranged.  God has proven to me over time that I am never alone... and He will always guide my steps and connect me to whom He desires, whenever He desires. I have learned to make a better choice when Jealousy tries to slip in.

It's not that I don't have drive or ambition... it's that now, more than ever, I am sure of my calling, my ministry, and my giftings. What God has for me is different and unique from what He has for you! I want us both to walk fully in the plans He has for us! 

My success never diminishes or threatens yours, just as yours has no effect on mine.  We are to be together... side by side... heart to heart... sisters, friends... daughters of the most high King, and when jealousy wants an invitation to the party, the quickest way to slam the door is to fall on our knees and pray.

All day long on facebook and twitter - friends have been checking in and meeting up at Allume and, honestly, I am so for them! So thrilled and full of anticipation for all that God has planned for them! I am not jealous or sad or threatened... not even a tiny bit! For real... the thought didn't even occur to me to be jealous!

I don't feel left out - because I'm not!  Just because I am not there in person, doesn't mean that I will not glean the fruit of having so many friends there receiving! What they get from being there will pour out on their blogs and in their Voxes and seep out into their ministries and I don't have to be there to benefit! Thank you, Internet! (But oh how I would love to right in the midst of them!)

I know that God has amazing plans for the women gathered for Allume this year and I am breathless with anticipation for the ways He will move and connect and uplift them. I know that God will highlight a few from time to time and I will bring them to the Father in prayer all conference long! Yes... if you are a friend of mine at Allume - chances are good God and I will be talking about you this weekend!

It is my joy and honor to partner with Him and with them.

I have the choice to give in to feelings of jealousy or lift up prayers of blessings. I have the choice to take thoughts captive and turn them into intercession!

Jealousy... a waste of time that yields bitter fruit.
Blessing... a kingdom investment that bears fruit in every season!

Let us choose wisely, friends!


This is when my timer buzzed, but I just had to finish my thoughts! Grace, please!

And speaking of Grace, tomorrow I will be in two places at once! I will post our normal Saturday offering here, and I will also be hanging out over at my friend Tara's place, talking about the Sweetness of Grace!

Linking up with Kate Motaung and the #fmfparty Community today.  Five Minute Fridays gives us the chance to dive right in and share what He puts on our hearts! Click here to read what others have to say about "GREEN"

The FMF lowdown: The gathering happens on Twitter on Thursday nights & then we write our hearts out & hit publish all over the interwebs on Thursday & Friday (& sometimes on Tuesdays!) It's where we encourage & uplift... where we share prayer requests & praise reports... where we talk food & friends & we find support & kindred hearts. It's where we are reminded that life is good & God is good & we're not alone... & then we all write for five minutes flat, a flash mob of wordsmiths letting our hearts & our fingers do the talking tapping & we hit publish before we can second guess it all away. 

We'd love to have you join us!

 Today is Day Sixteen of 31 Days of Truths We Know...! If you missed the kick-off and official 'Home page' for this series, you can go HERE and catch up! You will find links for each days' postings, added daily throughout the month. If you'd prefer to have them delivered right to you, I invite you to enter your email address to the right ('Subscribe Here') and subscribe to the blog. That way, once a week, each post is delivered to your inbox in a single email over the weekend and you'll be sure not to miss a thing!


  1. Like you, I've attended conferences and workshops on my own, with no pre-arranged meet-ups, but I have to admit I didn't do as well as you re: meeting and getting to know others. Can I tag along after you at Allume next year (fingers crossed) and see how you do it? :) Seriously, though, your comments about jealousy and giving it another label, were just what I needed to hear. I'm all too often doing my thing but with a watchful eye on how others are doing their thing so I can compare. I hadn't thought of that as insecurity until I read your post. Thank you for your transparency and honesty and for speaking truth that so many of us need to hear. (Love that I "met" you via Five Minute Friday)

    1. Oh Patti... Allume was hard on me. I went with my Honey and as much as I loved having him there, it meant that I didn't meet up with a roommate and as much as I 'knew' so many friends there - it was not easy to push myself into a crowd. I'm shy (I know... but it's true!) but I have learned the difference between self-confidence and God-confidence, and that has made a huge difference! I am sure I will make it back to Allume one day... I'm not sure when, but any time... any conference I am at... if you are there -let's meet #inrl! Thanks so much for stopping by!

  2. I love this post so much friend. I'm excited for all of them too. Your words capture my fears of attending a conference on my own. So excited to share your words over at my place tomorrow. Love ya friend!

    1. I'm excited and honored to be hanging out with you tomorrow! (Isn't God good how He wove bitter right in there? LOL!) ;)

  3. I love the direction you took this with the prompt! I have a lot of jealousy and insecurity, too, and the Lord has been dealing with me about it!

    1. LOL... I take no credit for the direction... I had no plan! ;) I used to struggle more than I do now... now the enemy really has to work to get me to fall for it! (So... it DOES get better!) ;)

  4. Yes the Lord is working in me on this very thing. It is a difficult track to navigate but he is shepherding me and making me lie in green pastures of contentment. I am so thankful I got to have you in my 5-4-5 I needed this today, especially since I let some raw honest thoughts out earlier this week about jealousy. Love you!

    1. Oh yes - that is a lovely road... the one that leads to green pastures of contentment! As I told Melissa above - I am human so jealousy comes up from time to time - but it is not something that I battle with much anymore... The Lord has taught me how to turn it into prayers of blessings... (when you do that, the enemy sort of realizes his tactics are backfiring!) ;)

  5. You know I really don't relate to this at all... ahem, except YES! YES I DO. Thanks for being honest and vulnerable in this post. I think it's a biggie for all women and I know it's something I battle with and the Lord is continually working on chipping away at the ugly jealous monster deeply rooted inside of me.

    1. LOL! Thank you for being honest and vulnerable! (It's the surest way to freedom!) I can testify that it does get better!

  6. I haven't done the 5 minute Friday thing... YET. But, I'm very tempted to try it. My green might have been envy/jealousy too. Great post Karrilee. Thanks, c

    1. Ohhh - I think you SHOULD! I think you should jump in and join us for Five Minute Friday! It's so fun... and it is really good for you as a writer! I know between the practices and the people - I have grown tremendously as a writer since joining in with the fmfparty crew! Thanks for stopping by!

  7. So beautifully written and I can relate. I have been fighting jealousy with prayer and continue to have to do battle. I didn't attempt Five Minute Friday while doing 31 Days but looking forward to getting back into it next month.

    1. Jo - I thought keeping my Fridays open for FMF would make it easier... well, Green was a tough one - but it worked out! ;) Thanks so much for stopping by!

  8. I LOVE how you were all like... Green? Why? Ugh! Yuck! And then... all of that truth just came pouring out. God is so good and I love how He sometimes uses the "Why, Ugh, Yuck" to show us things... truths. And by the time I was nearing the end of your post I had to smile because you just snatched the mask off of that sucker, and punked it like... "What? Say something." Thank you Karrilee! I am learning that things (like jealousy) only have power over us because we don't expose them for what they really are. This captured the true essence of Five minute Friday for me!

    1. Best. Comment. Ever. LOL! I DID snatch the mask off and punked it! #ButImPrettySureImTooOldToSayItLikeThat #OrAtLeastNotCoolEnough ;)


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