October 17, 2018

DAY SEVENTEEN of 31 Days of Becoming Queen of Giving the Benefit of the Doubt


Don't Forget GRACE...

I was out walking with a friend the other day and we were discussing the importance and desperate need of giving Grace... we were talking current events and headlines and real life, small-town drama, and we were noting how little it seems people are willing to give Grace anymore... outward or inward!

It's then that I made a statement just off the top of my head but I felt the weight of His heart all over it:

You MUST learn to give Grace to yourself first, before you are truly able to give it away to others!
 You guys? This may be the mystery that helps solve at least some of our problems! 

Now when I say Grace, I don't mean excuses or lack of consequences or not having to take responsibility. But when we talk about Being Kind and Focusing on the Positive and all that we have covered so far --it includes giving it to ourselves. 

Sometimes our harshest critic is the sound of our own thoughts about ourselves. We attempt to be kind to others but we forget to be gentle with our own hearts as well!

I won't speak for you, but in my own life, I have found that it was only after I was able to fully give myself grace and treat myself the way Jesus treats me that I was able to give real grace away to those who I thought maybe didn't exactly deserve it... 

Because really --isn't that the thing about Grace?
None of us deserve it!

I think when we come to the realization that all of those negative thoughts and all of the ways we rehearse our failures and shortcomings, and all of the times we beat ourselves up for our mistakes... exactly zero percent of those are thoughts that God has about us! Zero. Percent.

I remember hearing Bill Johnson say years ago,
"I can't afford to have a thought about me in my head that He doesn’t have in His head about me."

This quote came years after learning how to fight the battle in my mind and how to take every thought captive, but it was just the inspiration and motivation I needed to stay vigilant about my thoughts about myself!

So before I could honestly have an abundance of Grace to give out... I had to learn how to fully receive it and give it inward to myself first! 

I had to remember to be kind to myself... to stop myself mid-rant and ask if this is something that Jesus would say to me or about me and if it wasn't, I needed to take it captive. If it was... I needed to pay attention and take it to Him. 

(FYI: Most rants don't end with good thoughts about how awesome we are, right?)

As I stated above, when I say Grace I'm not talking about skirting around responsibilities or giving excuses, I am talking about knowing I don't deserve it... but also knowing I am offered it anyway!

When I begin to understand that
Grace cost Him everything so that
it could be freely given to me... 
when I remember that I cannot
(read: can. NOT.) earn it... 
at all, in any way... 
but I can receive it... 
This is when I find myself
 humbled and amazed
at this grace that covers me...
and this is when I find it beginning to
fill me up and bubble over and
spill out on others around me. 

The danger comes whenever I forget that Grace cannot be earned! I've written it before over the years, but often times we want grace to be free for us, but act like 'they' have to earn it. 

This is not how Grace works.

And it's easier to remember this when we have learned the art of giving it to ourselves... taking every thought captive that doesn't line up to the Word and receiving freely the grace that cost Him everything, not because we are worthy or deserve it --but exactly because we aren't and we don't, but He still holds it out to us as a gift to be unwrapped and put on!
"For it was only through this wonderful grace that we believed in him. Nothing we did could ever earn this salvation, for it was the gracious gift from God that brought us to Christ! So no one will ever be able to boast, for salvation is never a reward for good works or human striving." Ephesians 2:8-9 TPT
Lord, help us to receive this gift of grace graciously and be willing to give it inward to ourselves when needed... as well as to extend it out to others around us!

Tomorrow we will talk about giving Grace to everyone else, too!

Today is Day Seventeen of 31 Days of Becoming Queen of Giving the Benefit of the Doubt! If you missed the kick-off and official 'Homepage' for this series, you can go HERE and catch up! You will find links for each days' postings, added daily throughout the month. If you'd prefer to have them delivered right to you, I invite you to enter your email address to the right ('Subscribe Here') and subscribe to the blog. That way, once a week, each post is delivered to your inbox in a single email over the weekend and you'll be sure not to miss a thing!


  1. Such a good message! So very, very real!!! Thank you ... Giving grace to ourselves first. So important!! Bless you today :-)

  2. Grace--such a free unmerited gift! All the yeses. I'm so guilty of not being gentle with myself too. Thankful for grace!

  3. I thought I posted a comment already. Sorry. I must have done something wrong.
    Anyway, this idea of extending grace to myself is such a timely one. I don't think about it often enough.
    That's RIGHT, if I want to give away grace, I need to know and receive grace for myself.

    1. Susan, it's so easy to forget but it's out of the overflow that grace and love and joy become the most contagious! Thanks so much for stopping by! xoxo


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