May 21, 2018

When It's Time to Tell a Secret. A Five Minute Friday post.

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I have been silent around these parts yet again, but the Lord has been calling me back to this seat, to write this post... even before Kate gave us the prompt! Our One Word this week is SECRETThis is Five Minute Friday!

{GO}

Maybe you haven't really noticed, but it feels like I've been keeping a little secret lately.

I've hinted at it... and maybe let a few things slip here and there. I've been quieter over the past year or so when it comes to writing or posting about a specific topic, but that was not how we started out. Oh no... we started out bringing y'all along with us on a new adventure and we now unexpectedly find ourselves in yet another new season. 

But let me back up.

This is the post where it's time to tell a little secret. This is the post where I talk about church. Not necessarily the church in general, but our church specifically.

The same church that we were extremely honored to help plant three years ago.  The same church that we prayed into and over and poured into and helped to grow.  The same church that we stepped down from a few months ago... the same one we have slowly been stepping away from. 
The same one we still madly love...



















We are leaning on and trusting in Peace Himself and we are following His lead... --even when His leading takes away from places that we're not sure we want to leave!

But we pledged years and years ago to follow Him no matter what the cost... to give our whole hearts, to press in and stay in tune.  My Honey and me, we are Covenant people and so even though we know God moves in seasons, it's tough for us to walk away.  However, we also know that sometimes God asks us to pick things up and sometimes He asks us to lay things down. 


















The church is messy, friends. I mean, right? It's because She is full of people and --Gah! We are oh so human and fallible. 

Before I go on, I want to say it loud and clear: 
We didn't step down because of division, hurts, or anger. We didn't... We could have, but we stayed beyond the feelings and allowed healing to take place, even in the midst of having to let go!

It is no one's fault. (Or maybe it is all of our faults... or maybe we were only supposed to help start this thing and move on.)

We can't know... but we DO know that we have no regrets. 

Why am I talking about this here and now? Well mostly it is because this is my little corner of the interwebs and I have hung out here and shared my life and what God is teaching me for over twelve years and I am all about authenticity and being honest and vulnerable.  I wanted to tell y'all right away --but I also know that not everything is meant for the internet and I wanted to wait until the words flowed from wholeness and with honor.

This is the short version of how it all went down:


Three years ago, Dad's House started with a conversation between four people. We barely knew each other but we knew that God was leading us to take this risk and to answer the call to start something new.

We are wired completely opposite... we each have different strengths and weaknesses. While we knew it would stretch us and steer us, test us and teach us... we didn't (want to) see that it could also bruise us and break us, only to eventually refuel and remake us.

Even through the trying times, we loved what God was doing in and through everyone at Dad's House... how He was gathering amazing people and growing a family and not for one moment did we ever doubt that He was -and is!- at work there!

It's a beautiful, powerful thing: 
His Love for His Bride!



When we started out, a couple of us knew what we wanted and a couple of us only knew what we didn't want. Eventually, those lists of wants and do-not-wants collided and we lost our voice.  Miscommunications and misunderstanding ensued. We felt in over our heads with little of our original vision on the table and as much as we wanted to stay, we began to feel the Lord call us to step back and return to why we said yes in the first place.  

We said yes because we wanted to create an atmosphere and build something brand new... something different. 

And honestly, that is what we did. 

Dad's House is an amazing church and there is not another one like it and we are oh so honored to have had the pleasure of helping to lay her foundation!

{STOP}

I said it before... My Honey and me, our Yes means yes. It's difficult for us to not look at something and think, "This is it, ...forever.

But it turns out, it wasn't.  
Oh, we wanted it to be. 

But after a long while of being messy and wounded and a little lost along the way, we began to feel a bit of freedom around the edges. 

We didn't cut and run
but we stayed and prayed. 

We let Peace be our Umpire and we have come to learn that when Joy leads us out and Peace shows us the way, we are truly following His lead!

Listen, my friends... I know many (read: MANY!) have been hurt by 'the church'. We have both been hurt, and inadvertently done the hurting, I'm sure.  

But here's the deal: The Church is still His idea... His Bride... and He is coming for her, full on!



We're not sure what is next for us.  We live in a small town and as much as our old church doesn't feel like home, there is really not anywhere else we want to go.

But whether we are meeting in a building on a Sunday morning, or in a home, on a walk, over coffee, or for a meal --we ARE the church!

We are the church and, you guys,
we can't give up on Her! 


















We can't --because He won't!



The Five Minute Friday community is the best gathering of Flashmob writers around!  We wait for the one-word prompt and we throw caution and hesitation and editing to the wind, and we let our fingers fly and our feelings feel and we just wait and see what flows out in five minutes (or so! Because, grace!) and we hit Publish without second-guessing or backspacing! 

Linking up with Kate Motaung and the #fmfparty Community today.  Five Minute Fridays give us the chance to dive right in and share what He puts on our hearts! Click HERE to read what others have to say about "SECRET"

The FMF lowdown: The gathering happens on Twitter on Thursday nights & then we write our hearts out & hit publish all over the interwebs on Thursday & Friday (& sometimes on Tuesdays!) It's where we encourage & uplift... where we share prayer requests & praise reports... where we talk food & friends & we find support & kindred hearts. It's where we are reminded that life is good & God is good & we're not alone... & then we all write for five minutes flat, a flash mob of wordsmiths letting our hearts & our fingers do the talking tapping & we hit publish before we can second guess it all away. We'd love to have you join us!


I'm also linking up with the lovely writer communities linked below:


Crystal Twaddell for #FreshMarketFriday


Kelly Balarie for #RaRaLinkUp

Holley Gerth for #LetsHaveCoffee


LORI SCHUMAKER FOR #MOMENTSOFHOPE











MARY GEISEN FOR #TELLHISSTORY


8 comments :

  1. First, the on topic comment: Me and my spouse have been in that exact spot and you communicated exactly how it felt for us. Thank you.
    Second, off topic: Your banner is gorgeous!

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    Replies
    1. First --I'm so sorry you and your spouse have walked a similar road! I am, however, so grateful for your comment... it helps to know and remember that we are not alone and that He is always at work... always building up His Bride... always for us! I'd love to chat further privately if you would like (just to hear the rest of the story!) You can connect with me on fb or twitter or simply shoot me an email!

      Second --I know, right? I had it done years ago and I am STILL in love with it! That Traci Michele is pretty talented!

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  2. I've wanted to ask but didn't. xo

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for praying... for noticing... and for honoring me enough to give me space to process! GAKAT! I love you, friend! xoxo

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  3. Oh friend, thank you for sharing your heart. I've been praying along the way. I know how hard this has been for you and your honey. So much THIS: "Listen, my friends... I know many (read: MANY!) have been hurt by 'the church'. We have both been hurt, and inadvertently done the hurting, I'm sure." Yet Indeed we cannot give up on the church. I cannot help but think of Gungors song Beautiful Things. "God makes beautiful things out of dust, out of us!" In a lot of ways, we are Gods living kintsugi! Xoxo

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    Replies
    1. He's been so good and so close! He can't help Himself! ;)
      Love you!

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  4. I feel so much of what you are saying and what is safely tucked between the lines because I've been there too, and God will make a way in His time and in such a way that honors who He is in you. Praying for clarity and the ability to stay strong while living in the middle. Hugs!

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    Replies
    1. Oh Crystal, as much as it hurts my heart that you have walked a similar road --there is hope and comfort in knowing that this path is not secluded or lonely! Living in the middle is where we're at... waiting and listening, praying and letting Him lead us! Thanks so much for the prayers! Hugs right back!

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Thanks so much for stopping by! I always love to hear your thoughts! Remember to: Speak Life - Be Love - Shine On!
~Karrilee~

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