May 1, 2014

In Which we Get Real about our Mess - Five Minute Friday

I wasn't gonna write. I mean, sure - I know it's Five Minute Friday and I can't remember when I actually missed writing a post... surely, I have.  But even though I may miss out on a little Thursday night party, I rarely miss out on writing a prompt (who can't find 5 minutes, right?) and linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker and the incredible Gathering of Awesome that happens at her place every Friday! But, I posted a lot already this week... an #inrl recap/#1000gifts post, and two book reviews (one for Rhinestone Jesus - where you can win a copy, and one for our own Lisa-Jo's Surprised by Motherhood) so by Thursday night, it felt like you had heard enough from me... and yet... here I am, sharing my Mess. Because we are all about keeping it real, yes?

Oh but - first - the fine print: if you don't know what FMF is!  Five Minute Fridays are hosted by Lisa Jo Baker.  It is open to anyone, so to learn more about it - and to jump in yourself (the more the merrier!) or just to find a linky to see what everyone is writing about today - click HERE!  The idea is to simply write... for Five Minutes flat... no editing, no deep thinking - or at least REthinking, no spell check - just write! Let it flow! We all write using a prompt that Lisa posts at 10pm Thursday night (EST.)  I'm loving the community of amazing bloggers and the creativity that flows from these magical Five Minutes!

So - here goes: Five Minute Friday - The Word Prompt is: MESS

{GO}


So - we're gonna be all real and open and talk about our Messes, eh?  

Well alrighty then! 

I have talked about the Messes before... I like to think I am open and honest around these parts and while I may not air my dirty laundry, I at least keep it real enough to let ya know I have dirty laundry... but what my Mess is really wrapped up in this week is the clean laundry, (in piles... always unfolded and dug through.)

Cleaning the bathtub, vacuuming the stairs, and folding my laundry... those are my top three worst chores.  I am blessed and my Honey is amazing and he usually does the tub and the stairs, but those clothes... they are mine and I can find myself some clean clothes in a basket or a drawer - either way is fine with me.  But to my Honey - it is a pet peeve.  I know this... some days I stay aware of it all the way through the laundry cycle and manage to actually follow through enough to put all the clothes away.  Like - where they belong, even!  But other most days, I let them sit. I get distracted. I can't care to finish. Something else... something sparkly or fun grabs hold of my attention and I assure myself I will go back to it, but I rarely do!

I can make excuses... some of them are good ones. Some are even valid.  But it really comes down to this: I know it bothers him. Not much really gets under his skin and as I said - he's amazing at helping out. So - it should have come as no surprise when we came home (from Bible college, no less) last night - that the kitchen was a mess, the dishes piled up, the floor needed mopping, and the laundry... ugh... the laundry ya'll... 


 Now - I should back up just a little and say this... (I wrote about it here earlier I believe) - we stepped up to minister together this year.  We decided maybe we had a thing or two to teach about marriage and parenting and so really - these little miscommunications, these taken for granted's, or passive aggressive outbursts (on both our parts) while unusual for us - should not be surprising, right? I mean - it's not like we shouldn't have seen it coming!  The enemy is consistent.

After hosting #inrl last weekend, I sort of took the week off.  Not on purpose, per say - but I gave myself grace.  I pour out all week long. I am a Mama and I mother everywhere I go. 

But here is the thing:


My Honey doesn't often need or want me to mother him.  He needs me to sit with him, on a bench... and love him.  He needs me to listen and make time and show him that he is a priority. He needs me to put our college girlie to bed (or at least pretend she's asleep) and sit with him, and for the love, Do The Laundry!

You see, his is the most important Bench that I share and I can forget that.  

We are blessed with a great marriage... but the danger in that blessing is that it's so easily taken for granted!  I have repurposed in my heart this week to say Yes in my Mess (but to also just fold my clothes and put them away!)  I am intentionally slowing down, unplugging, and sitting on a Bench with my Honey to drink in Spring, and be refreshed, side by side!

{STOP}

The photo's were taken on Sunday afternoon at our local Arboretum... where my Honey and I strolled around because he knows how I love me some Springtime and a camera in hand! That Bench... simply a visual reminder to Come Away with him and sit awhile - which is what I am off to do now! (Praise God for texts and grace and I love you's and I'm sorry's - but nothing beats some face to face time, side by side.)

What about you?  What are the triggers that you could pay more attention to, or how can I pray for you to find time to sit on those important Benches?


Five Minute Fridays gives us the chance to dive right in and share what He puts on our hearts! Click here to read what others have to say about "MESS"  







25 comments :

  1. Love this! <3 (I may possibly have also mentioned clean laundry in my post, piled and waiting to be put away --- not my favorite task, either!)

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    1. Kindred sisters, you and I! <3

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  2. loved this little glimpse into your family life - very different from mine although hubby here is pretty good about helping out. his pet peeve is he always likes to know what we're eating for the next couple of meals - and since we moved, i've been out of the habit of menu planning. i used to post the menu so he could look (of course, that had a few pitfalls, too... but...) maybe i need to start trying that again.

    thanks for the challenge!

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    1. Ah yes - Menu Planning... that, along with putting away the clean clothes, really does help to make the house run smoothly! Praying for you to find that rhythm once again!

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  3. Oh girl, I can't tell you when the last time was I folded laundry. I wish this was my honey's pet peeve. Please pray for me. I want to come sit on the bench.

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    1. LOL - Barbie - you know I got your back, sister! Praying for you and believing you will find some bench time to sit and relax together... to enjoy just being side by side for awhile! (My Honey also has a thing about the kitchen floor... and why is it when he jumps in to help, I allow the enemy to tell me how much I fail at - everything? Most often, he's not even upset... he's just helping out! Oye - the guilt we give in to!) Find a bench... sit down... make it a priority and a habit! Love you girl!

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  4. Blessed benches! Need to take time to pull up next to my husband today and this weekend! Thank you for the five minute post...I confess I almost didn't write either! I did a re-blog! :) God loves it all.

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    1. Amen! Find time... make time... steal time... however you can gather it up for even just a few moments - do it! It's always worth it!

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  5. Karrilee what an open and honest post! Thank you for sharing it with us. The enemy will always consistently attack us in the areas where God has called us to step out. Stand firm!

    My bench is needing to wake up and get out of bed immediately so that I can spend that extended worship and study time with God every morning. Today I did it but I need to be consistent! I look forward to reading your other posts. #fmfparty

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    1. Oh yes... that putting Him first - consistently... that is so needed and yet so often (for me, at least) pushed to the side on a busy day unaware! Of course - it's those days that we need it the most! Praying for you to find yourself waking refreshed and hungering for His Presence before anything else! (Praying this for myself now too, so thank you for that!) <3

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  6. You guys are so blessed to have one another! Love that you are recognizing where the enemy is trying to attack you and that you are taking time to sit on that bench with your man. That will go a long way towards shutting the door on the enemy! Praying you have victory over the laundry this week!

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    1. Amen Holly! Last night, after writing this post - I went and folded AND put away the laundry - and then sat with my Honey and connected. Praying this will be a new routine (just hopefully not always on Thursdays, because - well - #fmfparty!) ;)

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  7. I love what you did with this prompt! I am terrible at laundry and am perfectly satisfied to dig through the baskets of clean clothes and find what I need, but my husband craves order. What a wonderful reminder to keep our priorities straight!

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    1. Kim - kindred yet again! Yes - give and take, balance, priorities... I can't wait for you to read Rhinestone Jesus and let this message soak in! You're going to love it!

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  8. I like the idea of sitting on the bench with your hubby, too. Stopping and making time to connect with each other or talk is so important and some times everything else gets the priority. And it's cool to be motivated to do messy, mundane chores, like the laundry, because it's something important to your hubby — even though it might not be AS important to you. I have found doing for others is a great motivator and helps to take the focus off what I want. Blessings as you share wisdom with others about marriage!

    Christy @ A Heartening Life
    www.ahearteninglife.com

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    1. So true Christy! I think when our girlie was younger it was almost easier because it was more pressing and more a part of my routine... we're in this strange transition stage where she is more roommate and in college with no bedtime really - so that cuts in to our time a bit more. I struggle between wanting that alone time with my Honey, and wanting every last minute with my Girlie before she moves away... still - bench time is crucial and speaking his Love Language and choosing to bless is priority... and as long as we are happy and connected, she is happy and secure!

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  9. Wow, Karilee this is so inspiring. I need to pause and share the bench with my husband more often. This means doing the little things that matter to him,, and thinking less about "me" time. I hope that you have a lovely weekend.

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    1. It is such a crucial thing to remember and we can get so caught up in our own busy days that we forget! I encourage you to make the time - (I am encouraging and reminding myself of the same thing!) Do a little bench sitting this weekend! You won't regret it!

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  10. Beautiful, Karilee! It's the ordinary, mundane routines where God meets us and says "hey" even these things can be used to honor me and remind you that they can bless others. Happy weekend!

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    1. Amen! That is so true! Thanks for stopping by! Praying you have a great weekend as well!

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  11. The laundry!!!! Why does it never, ever stop?!!! When I actually do have that day that I get it all done and all put away, I want my husband to see and notice. But to him, it is not as big a deal. He doesn't get the enormity of it. Why is that?! But I love this- the reminder to do what we do, not for acknowledgement, but because we love. Thankful for you, Karrilee!!!

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    1. Becky... I know, right? The Laundry is never truly done! Your comment made me wonder how many things our Honey's do for us that we don't really see and notice...we take for granted because they are done... (Taking out the garbage comes to mind for me...) I'm going to be intentional in looking for those things and acknowledging them more! So thanks for that! <3

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  12. I'd visited 3 posts at FMF and was just headed off line when I saw your sweet face and clicked over. Well, let's just say you spoke to me and I will spend much of the rest of the day actually putting away the clothes and doing some of the things I know my Big Daddy likes. His is the most important bench I share. Such wisdom. So true. Thanks Karrilee.

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    1. Lisha... I hear you, friend! It's those little things that we so easily blow off or just push aside... but it's speaks volumes when we attend to them, in love and honor! Bless you friend!

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  13. When we live with someone who has different love languages than we do, it's so easy to ignore them (because speaking a foreign language is hard--it takes time and thought and learning and planning). I, too, am learning to 'sit on the bench'.

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Thanks so much for stopping by! I always love to hear your thoughts! Remember to: Speak Life - Be Love - Shine On!
~Karrilee~

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