This is Thursday...
This is what I believe the kids these days
(& tweeps everywhere)
call "Throwback Thursday"...
This is me writing about how
I can't believe how fast this year is rushing by
& how it really does feel like I blinked
& fast forwarded
(#TotesAdorbs - I know!)
I can still remember being a new Mom...
still trying to find a rhythm & confidence...
trying to look like I knew what I was doing
- way back when I used to care
or think that was even possible! -
I remember countless times
when the Mama's of
older (grown) littles
Oh, how I wish
I would have listened!
I didn't know...
- didn't understand...
I could never truly grasp
the depth of their hearts' cry...
I have an Only...
One Shot at this thing called parenting...
(A lot of pressure - on her & on us!)
She has been a joy to behold,
a heartbreak to let loose,
& an honor to claim as ours.
Although - really... really - she is His!
I remember when she was all of 4
& sitting on the foot of her bed
& praying with her as she asked Him in
& gave her life over to follow hard...
I remember when she was 6
& would not back down
& I came to her defense
& stood tall behind her,
only to find she was bold-face lying...
her - (mine...) with curls & batting eyelashes,
I remember when she was 8
& 10 & 12... (& yesterday)
when we would crack up out loud
- belly laugh with our mouths wide open
& heads tilted back...
Joy & Love & Grace infectious
- spilling out everywhere!
I remember the good times - yes...
the bad times - ...yes.
I remember that in EVERY time
- she held my heart in her smile,
& her sing-song voice that has always,
always sung my name...
It seems I blinked & we went from
Grade school & playdates,
to Graduation & Prom!
We are dress shopping & waiting for her
Cap & Gown to arrive
& it just doesn't seem possible!
I went from Blinking unaware,
to Blinking back tears...
& I can't stop time.
I have loved every single moment...
even the hard eucharisteo's...
(thankfully they were few...
but hard & eucharisteo, they were!)
for through every moment...
she's remained right here,
by my side & in my heart,
under my skin right from the start.
She is a joy & a treasure
& something to behold...
and for her,
Life is just beginning...
& yet... she promises me...
in whispers at bedtime,
& in the way she leans in to a hug,
she promises me that a part of her will
Never Grow Up...
Speak Life. Be Love. Shine On.