I want to Forget, too!

"On Tuesday, she woke up and realized she had forgotten

the definition of the word 'Impossible.'

She decided it must not have been important." 

                                                           ~ (#230) Monique Duval

"I met my dreams in a dream last night.

They were whining about the view, the humidity,

the reckless rooms inside my heart.

"We need room for flight," they cried.

So I'm deconstructing my tiny house today.

I'm giving my dreams the starlight as their steeple,

the uncluttered winds for their kites." 

                                                           ~ (#300) Monique Duval

So, Holley Gerth asked us last week what a typical day in our life looks like, and I realized that my days look a lot different now than they did even a few short months ago!

God is so smart in His transitioning!

My answer a few months ago would have mostly included chauffeuring our daughter around - to and from school... sometimes to and from her job... and it also would have included running more errands somehow and leaving the house to workout on a consistent basis with a friend.

However, my workout partner has been sick and we got out of the habit and ever since our daughter bought her first car a month ago, well - for the first time in 14 years, I don't HAVE to get up and brave the cold March mornings... or face - well - anyone - before the coffee is done brewing.  

My mornings are quieter, slower... and even though I love the warmth of my cozy bed, I DO admit to missing those hectic crazed mornings running out the door, beating the clock and her own dread of Morning and tardies... having conversations in the car during our short commute to school to start off our days.  

However, in missing those hurried car rides, I have invited in the unrushed.  Sure - I had conversations with the Lord before, but now they can last longer... go deeper... linger and seep into the rest of my day easier!  

Now my days look a little more peaceful, but also a little more  lonely  on my own!  I find I am battling thoughts of not DOING enough, although I know full well that in this season, He is calling me to BE... 

My typical day now still revolves around somewhat bossy lists, and Bible study groups and Coffee dates, as well as those less 'fun' things like grocery shopping and laundry, but I have learned in this season of transition - this season of Being, that I also pencil in hours for writing.  I know - it sounds so luxurious... an empty house, and hours actually set aside for writing, for art, for spending time with Him. 

It sounds dreamy and like Heaven and so Romantic... and some days it is! It is all of that on some days... but on others? On other days it is still hard and it's work and I get distracted.  All this 'free time' and I still find that if I don't manage it well, it will slip away from me.

My daughter drives herself everywhere now... she works, which has given us a glimpse into what lies ahead... not many dinners around the table all together anymore.  Not unless we wait until 8pm to eat, which honestly - some nights we do - just so we can sit and be together over a meal

But when my day to day life can seem small... boring even... like I am not accomplishing much at all... I must make the choice anew to forget, as Monique wrote, what the definition of Impossible is.  I am doing with each day what He has called me to in this season.  I am not asked to look around and compare... (in fact, we are warned against that!)  In this season, on this day... my days are ruled by Him and while I do need to pay closer attention to the hours that slip away (and maybe have less Tabs open at once!), I simply let Him lead.  

I am a Mary at heart, and so spending time at His feet or on His lap stirs me up and pulls me close... part of my God-Sized Dream is to create community and while I do that live and in person in my home on Tuesdays and in real life, in groups and one on one, through out the week, I also feel a call to do that here - in this space, online, and in other arenas on the web.

My call, my Dream, is to live out my mantra in real and in tangible ways... my hearts' desire is honestly - with His help (because without it, it truly IS impossible) - to:

Speak Life. (We hear enough death all around us and coming from our own negative thoughts within us);

Be Love. (I want to allow His Love to so saturate me, it spills out and pours onto you!);

Shine On. (We are called to so let His Light shine that they will see and know that there is something different about us... that wherever we go - darkness has to flee!)

No matter what my day looks like... my night, for a few more months anyway, wraps up with thanks, and lean-in hugs, and bedtime kisses on the cheek... no longer physically tucking her in - but tucking her in still the same!

And I am blessed to curl up close next to this gift of a man, who dreams alongside me... who tells me how God is at work and how I can do it - how I AM doing it... whether or not it appears on the outside as if I did anything that day!  

We love real and we honor true; we share life and whisper out prayers of hope... prayers of faith... we give thanks...

...and we always kiss goodnight.

I am linking up again with Holley Gerth and her community of God-Sized Dreamers:

Speak Life. Be Love. Shine On.

~Karrilee~