I love words... I use a lot of them on any given day and as much as I enjoy painting a picture with my words... some times it is just one simple word that can stop me in my tracks. It can be a very basic word or something I have to go look up to get a fresh perspective on... but I love it when God whispers something to my spirit that causes me to run for the dictionary!
Let me tell you - up front - that I am not myself today. We have had a very emotional turbulent week so far and I am honestly exhausted and not in the mood to write. But, you see, I made this deal with God and I have just sort of re-committed myself to it and so I can't really afford to take a day off already... although I am almost certain this post will not actually get posted until I have had some sleep... still, I write...
In the midst of processing this search for the Father's Heart I have also heard whispers and hints about another topic all together... one that I dare say may turn into a book, praise God?! I am wondering now if this means that 'this' book is nearing an end and I need to shift my focus to something all together different... I am unsure. But - He is speaking and for that I am so thankful!
Isn't it just so predictable that as I dive in to seek out the Father's Heart - the enemy jumps in to use circumstances to cause me, once again, to question His love and to fear Him! (Not in a good 'the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom' sort of way - but - in a 'what am I thinking trying to get close to Him' sort of way?!) My husbands' oldest and dearest friend Kevin was found on Monday - the cause of death unknown. We ran over as soon as we heard and of course, we laid hands on him and prayed... I remember a month or so ago, while praying for another person who had been sick and had died, the Lord told me in order to see resurrections, there will have to be some deaths. OK... I get that... that is fine... but I thought that meant that someone would have to die - but then when we prayed - they would get to live again!? I understand that many times, even when we pray in faith for resurrection, the Lord in His Mercy gives the person being prayed for the choice... and as much as we want them raised from the dead and back with us here on earth - we can hardly blame them if they would rather just hang with Jesus. And yet, I have to say - I am getting more and more frustrated... some of it in a good way, and honestly, some of it not so much in a good way. I need to really pray through the thoughts and feelings that follow such a time as this!
The biggest question I have... and the one thing that I want to know - is where is the remnant!?
Where is the Remnant?! Honestly, I want to know.... I know that if God is doing this in me... He is doing it in others! While I can easily go down the Elijah Road of feeling like I am the only one - I know very well that I am not... I know in fact that there are MANY who have more faith than I do that when they lay hands on the sick, they will recover... when they pray for the dead, the dead will rise... I say it is time we all gather and meet for coffee and get some stuff DONE already...
I am weary of waiting - and yet, that is the season we are in! The waiting and being prepared for the coming change season. However, just because we are 'on hold' if you will, the enemy of our souls is not - and he consistently plays dirty and hits below the belt! Now, call me crazy - but as I laid my hands on Kevin's heart and prayed - I could have sworn I felt... (sigh) ...something?!!?!?! A flutter... a few beats... something... after a few minutes I sort of dismissed it as my own nervous pulse... and now, days later, I am not convinced one way or the other... I am just not certain. I have offered to God to go to the funeral home or wherever his body is, and pray more... I am unwilling to give up at this point... and yet - grieving must take place and I feel I have to be careful. Why is it that we are so often more concerned with appearance and offending, than we are with Truth and delivering? I struggle with the whole fear of man, and wanting to please man thing... but I also know that I am in a place where I am willing - but I want to know that it is not my own thoughts - but God's prompting me... because, well - if it's not Him - then why would I want to put myself out there. And here is a thought that stirs me up and causes my breath to catch... what if He is not going to confirm it... what if what He wants is to see us just go with the flow and follow through without always looking for confirmation or agreement? I went through a period of growth in my walk with the Lord where I was constantly laying out a fleece if you will, or asking for confirmation! This is good practice and it is how you grow in knowing that you are hearing Him... but there does come a time when you should just simply recognize His Voice and follow. Just because we have that down in one area does not mean that we have it down in all areas...
As I was praying on Tuesday I began to ask the Lord to raise Kevin up... I do not need to be there... it doesn't have to be my hands... or anyone's' hands for that matter... and I believe and know in my heart that it is not too late!? God is able and He can do it... so the struggle then comes in when I want to once again attempt to force God to answer to me and fill in all the blanks I still have! What He whispered to my spirit in the midst of worship on Tuesday was this:
"It is finished! It has already been established in heaven, one way or the other!"
Now, on one hand, I suppose one could take that to mean that we prayed and he is still dead... it's finished - stop praying! Or, of course, you could go the other route and take that to mean that I have prayed what He has called me to pray and once again, it is not about me... it's all about Him and whether or not it is in His plans to raise Kevin from the dead - that is for Him to know... one way or the other - He has already done it!
He works inside and outside of time... so here is the deal... I trust Him. In whatever He does or doesn't do - I trust Him and know that for whatever reason, He is aware and able to work all things together for good in the long run - the eternity run... and that is what is more important! He will not share His glory! But... glory is due Him and He will get it!
So... "It is finished" to a faith girl... well, that stirs up Scriptures of healing and how it has been accomplished already for us... the atonement has been made and was accepted by the Father and it is finished... nothing more needs to be done for us - other than for us to step into the fulfillment of His promises. And we know if you have been a somewhat consistent reader here, that God has been speaking a lot about Declaring and Decreeing... so that word "Established" is what caught my attention today...
Webster's defines "Establish" like this:
1: to institute (as a law) permanently by enactment or agreement
2 obsolete : settle
3 a: to make firm or stable b: to introduce and cause to grow and multiply
4 a: to bring into existence : found b: bring about, effect
5 a: to put on a firm basis : set up b: to put into a favorable position c: to gain full recognition or acceptance of
6: to make (a church) a national or state institution
7: to put beyond doubt : prove
Hmmm... so, no matter what - it is a good thing to have something be established by the Lord! It is instituted as law, it is settled, firm and stable... it is brought into existence and set up and put in a favorable position... it is put beyond doubt... proven! Those are good things!
We know that God has established His covenant with us. He has established His Kingdom. He has established prophets, kings, and rulers. He has established Israel. He has established His Throne. He has established the sea, the mountains, the whole earth. He established the heavens. I encourage you to do a word study on Establish! I would love to hear what you find or what blesses you as you search the Word!
The Word says, "Believe in the LORD your God, and you shall be established; believe His prophets, and you shall prosper." (2 Chronicles 20:20)
Job 22:28 says "You will also declare a thing, And it will be established for you; So light will shine on your ways."
And lastly, for today, Psalm 40:1-3 reads:
"I waited patiently for the LORD;
And He inclined to me, And heard my cry.
He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Out of the miry clay, And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps.
He has put a new song in my mouth—
Praise to our God;
Many will see it and fear,
And will trust in the LORD."
So - I wait... and I trust... how about you? What is established in your life today!? What are some things that you are needing Him to establish? Bring them to Him... and trust Him at His Word!
Sing a new song
...and either way, Lord - Rise Up!!!
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